


Temporarily Untitled

by Tsuchiaki



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Major Crossdressing, Mpreg, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2019-08-04 06:05:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 78,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16341215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsuchiaki/pseuds/Tsuchiaki
Summary: Harry Potter's sudden disapperance after his third year was a shock to the entire wizading world until a mysterious student makes an abrupt appearance at the beginning of fourth year...A rewrite of a story previously posted on Fanfiction.net





	1. False Greetings and Betrayals

Temporarily Untitled

.

.

.  
False Greetings and Betrayals

* * *

 

"Silence!" Headmaster Dumbledore's voice rang out through the Great Hall and it became quiet. "Welcome to another great year here at Hogwarts—" Blah blah blah I've heard it all before. A new DADA teacher, first years have a nice time, the third floor corridors are forbidden all of that. I waited for the perfect moment to make an entrance.

I pulled my pigtails a bit tighter, I fixed my jumper and pulled my socks up so they were a little under my knees instead of bunched at my ankles. I patted my face lightly before I pushed the Great Hall doors open and there was silence once more. My breath quickened a bit more as everyone stopped to look at me.

"And who might you be?" Dumbledore's voice was loud in my ears and I flinched. I looked around the hall, taking in all of the eyes and every face that was familiar to me. "Well?" I looked at Dumbledore again and cleared my throat.

"My name is Harli Jay Porter."

There was a moment of chatter and I waited for the moment when someone would shout: "that's Harry Potter dressed like a girl!" but that moment never came.

"Well then Ms. Porter," Dumbledore gave me a kind smile behind his long white beard, "please come forward. As a new student, you must be given a house."

"Ms. Porter, if you would, please sit on the stool so that we may sort you." Professor Mcgonagall ushered me to the stool and before she could even pick up the Sorting Hat, I took a calming breath and cleared my mind, hoping the Sorting Hat would not reveal my secret. She placed the hat on my head and it wriggled around. Everyone's eyes were on me even the ghosts stopped to stare.

"Hmm, don't tell the secret eh?" I bit my lip and shut my eyes tight. "Hmm, I'll put you in... Gryffindor!"

Cheers burst from the entire table and I sighed in relief even though I expected nothing different. I went to the table and sat down next to Hermione and across from Ron.

"Ms. Porter, enjoy your stay here at Hogwarts," Headmaster Dumbledore winked at me and it set my nerves on edge.

I nodded quietly and the old man stood from his seat and clapped his hands together, "let the great feast begin!"

Hermione introduced herself and Ron, while the others told me their names I already knew. I waited for the onslaught of questions but food came first of course, and everyone piled their plates with mountains of food. After that, I was bombarded with questions like where I was from, how old I was, who my parents were, all the curiosity questions.

"Hey Harli," it was Seamus, "you're a first year right?"

"Are you crazy? Do I look like a first year? I'm a fourth year." I replied.

"Eh? Why didn't you start here at Hogwarts? I've never seen you before." Ron asked as if weren't the most obvious thing.

"There were some other things going on in my life, that's all. I didn't even know about Hogwarts until recently."

"How were you able to come here? Did you take basic classes? Will you start in fourth year classes?" Hermione asked.

"I took an exam this past summer at the ministry to determine my skill level and what classes I would take when I started here. I could take my O.W.L.s this year but they wanted me to be with others my age." I explained. "I will be taking advanced classes this year for extra prep for the tests."

"So Porter huh?" It was Fred and George, "it's a name we've never heard before. What kind of family are you from?"

"Actually, I'm a relative of the Potters. James Potter was my uncle on my dad's side. My dad married a muggle and took her surname."

"James Potter never had a brother, he was an only child." Fred, I think, replied.

"My dad once told me a story before he died, he said that he didn't want a life in the wizarding world. He went around and erased the memory of everyone who knew of him. He erased himself from the Potter family tree and completely wiped away his existence from everyone, including his parents. After that he pretended they didn't exist, as if he never had parents, as if he had never been born here. I thought it was plenty ridiculous but he said he wanted a normal life with a normal wife and a normal child. I wasn't normal of course, and after my parents died I was sent to a family who abused me everyday. I despised them and I always wanted to set them on fire but I didn't know how to control my magic. At the time, I didn't even know what it was, I thought I was going mad having things move without me touching them," the words spilled from my lips as if they were true, "and then one day, I was met with a rather intriguing surprise. A boy named Harry came to see me one day. He said he needed to go away for a while and he needed someone to take his place so that people wouldn't worry about him. He gave me his wand and showed me how to use and control my magic. He gave me books and materials to learn all of the things I needed to know to be a decent witch. He gave me an envelope with an acceptance letter to Hogwarts and a letter from the Minister of Magic allowing me a skills test and entry into Hogwarts. And, he gave me a blanket type thing that he said would allow me to cause mischievous without being seen. After that, he disappeared. I never saw him again. He charmed me, if only for those few days I was able to get to know him." Most of the Gryffindors had gone quiet to listen to my story and I was rather surprised myself when tears began to slip down my face.

"Oh goodness, I'm sorry," I wiped my eyes and frowned at how easy it was to lie to their faces.

Hermione patted my back and I smiled at her. "I didn't think it would be quite so overwhelming when I agreed to come here. I hope I have a wonderful time."

"Did Harry say anything to you? Why did he leave? Where did he go?" The chatter became louder and I took in a deep breath.

"I'm not sure where Harry went. He just said he had to go away for a while. I was asked all these same questions by the aurors when I went to the ministry, they seemed to really be alarmed. He didn't give me any clue to where he went, what he was doing, or why. I just know that one day he was there and the next day he was gone. No trace."

They all seemed to process this information quietly and Ron, poor poor Ron, his face was a bit red and his hands were clenched tightly. I never felt more remorseful for my decisions than I did at seeing his face that way.

I felt a burning glare on the back of my neck and at first I thought it was Snape but the sensation wasn't coming from his direction and I looked over my shoulder at one Draco Malfoy who was staring a hole through me. I shivered as I looked away and bit my lip. Had I been found out? No, if it was Malfoy, he would have blurted it out immediately. I looked back and he was still looking at me as if he was seeing right through all of my lies.

"Harli, are you feeling alright? You haven't even tried to make a plate yet." Hermione asked.

"Hmm? Oh yes, I am fine, I'm just not hungry is all. I, um- who is that?" I asked, ushering my head to the blonde.

"Oh, that's Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, I'd stay away from him, he's nothing but trouble. Why?" Ron replied.

"No reason, I just noticed he's been staring for quite sometime." It wasn't a lie, I did catch his eye.

"I'm not surprised, you are really pretty," Seamus randomly joined our conversation, "I don't think there's anyone who wasn't looking at you."

"Why thank you Seamus," I winked at him and he turned red.

Things began to slow down immensely and Dumbledore stood up to make his end of feast announcement. "It is now time to return to your dorms. First years, follow along with your housemates and have a good night everyone. Classes begin first thing."

Everyone began filing out of the Great Hall calmly and I got up but was stopped when Dumbledore asked me to stay.

"Go ahead without me," I smiled at Hermione and walked to the Head Table and stood in front of Dumbledore. "Yes sir?"

"You seemed to have settled in well. Professor Mcgonagall is your Head of House, should you have any trouble with your housemates she is the person to go to. I expect great things from you Ms. Porter." He had that uncomfortable, knowing twinkle in his eye, "do you have anything to say?"

"No sir, but if I think of anything I will be sure to let you know."

He nodded to me and allowed me to leave. I walked out of the Great Hall, deep in my thoughts and bumped into a body.

"Ah, I'm sor-," my apology died in my throat when I realized I'd bumped into Draco Malfoy.

"Ah, the new girl, pity you had to be sorted into that house. Making friends with the worst type of people," He remarked snidely. "I'm Draco Malfoy, you'll do well to remember it."

It still pissed me off to this day and I tisked and smiled, "I know who you are don't worry, they made sure to let me know the moment I stepped in the door. Such a bad rep to have isn't it, being the absolute worst?"

"Better than being a Gryffindor," he replied haughtily.

"Ah but see, if Gryffindors are the worst type of people, what does that say about you?" I raised an eyebrow and he scoffed in amusement.

"If you think you're insulting me, you're sorely mistaken," he gave me a once over with his eyes and smirked, "next time you want to try, don't do it with a uniform from the trash, have some tact. I'll lend you one, but it'll cost you."

I stepped closer to him and smiled back, "not everyone grew up with a silver spoon and a shrewd sense of self worth. I don't need anything from you and you can keep your baseless self confidence."

I slid past him with a hum and he grabbed my arm, "let go of me!"

"Don't think for a second that we are done here," he sneered.

I yanked my arm away and rubbed my wrist, "you're trying to win a losing fight Malfoy, don't embarrass yourself more." I smiled and turned away again, "next time you want to try, don't do it with such desperation."

I left him there with that and continued toward Gryffindor Tower.

"You better watch yourself, new girl, someone might do something you don't like." He called and I waved him off.

Dumbledore was suspicious of me, sure, but I had all of my proper paperwork thanks to the help of the old man Cornelius Fudge and the helpful Obliviate charm. I had established myself back into Hogwarts life so easily, and I would not allow this new life I had set up for myself be ruined by anyone.

I entered the Gryffindor Tower and I was lucky that I'd heard the password before I got there by a few people leaving the Great Hall.

I tredged up the stairs and into the girls dorm, which was extremely unnerving. Hermione was pacing the dorm.

"There you are! I was worried about you! Did you get into trouble?"

"No, I ran into Malfoy on the way back. Quite literally I might add."

"Oh no. Did he hurt you?"

"No, he wouldn't dare."

"You don't know what Malfoy would do," she shook her head.

"It's fine Hermione, I'm fine. I put him in his place, it's all fine," I swiped by her and went to my trunk. A few of the girls were looking at me and I swallowed.

"Are you going to be okay Harli? You didn't eat at all at dinner and you're awfully pale."

"Yes, Herm, I'm alright. I'm going to bed now, goodnight."

I closed the curtains and cast silencing and protection charms to protect them from my nightmares and unstable magic. I felt bad for blowing Hermione off but I couldn't be bothered with it. I had to try for as much sleep as I could before I started dreaming.

I settled into my bed and stared up at the canopy and sighed. It was going to be a long night.


	2. Charms, Spells, and Potion Fails

Temporarily Untitled

.

.

.  
Charms, Spells, and Potion Fails

* * *

 

I walked into the Great Hall with a yawn in my hand. It was still rather early and there wasn't really anyone in the hall at the time. I didn't check the time as I got ready but I was assuming it was only around six. I grabbed a piece of toast and dozed off with it still in my mouth.

"Aww is the poor babe still sleepy?" I tensed a bit before I opened my eyes to glare at Draco who had Pansy Parkinson sneering at his side.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know we were still in the age of dating trolls, considering your stature, I'd think you'd have better taste Malfoy." I laughed and I could practically see the steam coming from Pansy's ears.

"Draco, honey, why are we wasting time here? I get you want to have your fun but I want food," she kissed his cheek but his eyes remained on me and I snorted in amusement.

"That's right, Draco honey," I mocked, "food is important for bodily function, you should go get some. Quit messing around with little ol' me and worry about yourself."

He pulled Pansy closer and I looked away, it was disgusting.

I heard her smug laugh, "jealous, Half-blood?"

I barked out a laugh, "jealous? Of you? Don't get ahead of yourself, I just didn't feel like destroying my eyes with the sight of your face any longer. It was peeling away my brain cells."

Draco snorted and I heard Pansy smack him, "I'm leaving." I listened to her walk away but his footsteps didn't follow.

"Not gonna chase after your girlfriend?" I asked as I took another bite.

"She's not my girlfriend."

"She surely was hanging on you like she is."

"She's... not my girlfriend, per se."

"That's not how you treated her," I smirked as I glanced at him, "it's fine to say you're attracted to trolls."

"I think you would have made a great addition to Slytherin."

"And share a dorm with that monstrosity? No thanks."

He laughed, "I think it may have been for the best then."

"Oh yes, Gryffindor is a better pick because Merlin forbid you'd like me if I was a Hufflepuff."

He glanced over his shoulder and sighed, "she glaring at me."

"I guess you should get back to her then. Should I pretend to cry?"

"Might as well," he shrugged.

"I'll make sure I make it good."

I had my back to the Slytherin table but I could feel his eyes burning into me. I was relieved when people began to filter in for breakfast and I was distracted by Hermione entering with a tired looking Ron.

"I just don't understand why no one is looking for him." Ron said through a mouthful of food, "a high profile guy like Harry Potter going missing would make the news at least right?"

"Don't talk while you're eating Ron!" Hermione chided.

"Ugh, you sound like my mother," Ron groaned after he had swallowed of course.

"Maybe they're doing their own investigation first before putting it out in the news?" I put in.

Ron shrugged and I shrugged also. There was no point in worrying about it. I didn't want to be found and I would remain that way until the day came that I couldn't hide my secret anymore.

"Are you alright Harli? You don't look so good." Hermione questioned worriedly.

"I'm fine, I just didn't sleep well last night that's all."

The clock chimed and everyone got up to go their first class. I waved to Hermione and headed to Charms. Being the first one in, I got to choose my seat in the very back row closest to the window.

Professor Flitwick had immediately piled homework unto us before he even started the class and I sighed. I hated essays. We learned an eavesdropping charm and had to write an 8 inch essay on the properties and usage of the charm. We also had explicit permission to practice the charm out on any of our fellow classmates and that everyone should watch their backs.

Transfiguration was rather easy as well but you could tell Mcgonagall was distracted. She taught stiffly and she seemed to be rather irritated. I laughed under my breath thinking that I was probably the cause.

They deserved it. There's no way they couldn't have known. I could have been saved by them but they let me go back and I suffered so much for it. It was time they suffered as well.

"Ms. Porter, please demonstrate the charm," Mcgonagall ordered and I flicked my wand and the teacup changed into a pickle.

"Well done Ms. Porter," she smiled and I smiled back.

"Yeah, well done Porter," I ignored the voice behind me and tisked. I had Draco in both Charms and Transfiguration and I sinking feeling he was in my potions class as well.

Sometimes, I hated it when I was right.  
  
Not only was Draco in that class, but Pansy was there too. With Snape like a cherry on top, it was surely going to ruin my sanity.

"We will be trying something different this year, apparently," Snape seemed to be a bit more irritated about it than we would have been, "we will be doing a string of potions for the first half of the year with partners as a trial run. I have already chosen your partners for you and the rest of year until Christmas break, they will be your partners." No one dared groan. He pulled up a list and began reading names. "Granger, Zabini. Weasley, Parkinson. Chang, Bulstrode.—" I listened as he went down the list and the dread in the pit of my stomach increased as he read off the names but didn't call mine, "Porter, Malfoy." He waved his wand and instructions appeared on the board. "For this assignment, all of the potion ingredients can be found on the grounds. You have two hours to return here with all of your ingredients or you will not receive a grade. I'm sure that is not how you want to start out this year."

As everyone began scrambling to get out the door, Snape stopped them with his voice, "oh and you must return with your partner or you will both receive a failing grade."

I was surprised to see that Snape was promoting civility between the houses and I almost found it endearing. Almost. And then Draco sat next to me and it endearment disappeared.

"I guess we better get started then," he said and I scoffed.

"I really don't want to work with you."

"Well," he scoffed as well, "you don't have a choice and I'm not failing potions because of you."

I sighed, he had a point. "Fine, the faster this is over, the better."

"My thoughts exactly."

We left the dungeons and went outside into the bright sunlight. I walked uncomfortably close to Draco at that time.

"Do you know what everything looks like?" He asked and I nodded.

"We can split up and looks for the individual ingredients and meet back here?" I suggested and he frowned.

"I don't know, you are new here and it would waste time if you got lost. You don't know the grounds very well do you?"

I had almost forgotten to play the new student who had never been to Hogwarts before, "I guess I didn't think of that. I guess some of them won't be easy to find then. But I feel like the two of us going together will take too much time."

"We're wasting time standing here trying to figure it out. We'll just go together and I'll give you a quick tour of Hogwarts as we go."

"Well isn't that kind of you? I thought Slytherins were supposed to be the cruel, evil type?"

"Only the crazy ones," he smirked and started to walk off.

He pointed out the different areas as we gathered ingredients giving me the task of gathering them while he kept track of time.

"Making me do all the dirty work," I grumbled and he snickered.

"Well I wasn't going to do it. You're in a trash uniform so might as well have you do it."

It took everything I had to not blow his head off. "Just when I thought you were being nice."

"Nice isn't a characteristic of my personality, sorry to disappoint you," he sneered, "now hurry up, we're running out of time."

There was one more weed to gather for the potion and it was deep between some trees. I had to get it of course and Draco gave me the basket of the other ingredients. I picked the weed and grumbled as I stepped out from the trees.

"Hey Mal-," I paused as he was gone. No where in sight. "You've got to be joking."

I looked all over the grounds for him, and I was irritated when I found him with Pansy Parkinson. They were too far away from me to determine what was being said but I just laughed and walked back towards the school. We were already out of time.

Snape was still there waiting when I returned to the dungeon. I'm sure I was already 20 minutes over time but I didn't care. His arms were crossed and he gave me that irritating blank stare and it unnerved me a bit.

"Where's your partner?" He questioned.

"Malfoy decided he had other business to attend to. I'll take the failing grade professor and it seems he will too," I slammed the basket on his desk and left the room.

I walked back toward the Great Hall as dinner would be starting soon and was surprised when I was thrown against the wall. I choked as an unseen force wrapped around my throat and had me pinned against the wall, my feet dangling a few inches off the ground. I gasped for air and glared down at Pansy Parkinson who had come out of whatever shadow she had been hiding in.

"I like the hate in your eyes," she smiled, "I wish you would look at Draco with the same kind of hate."

I gasped as the invisible hand suffocating me tightened a bit more. "You stay away from Draco from now on and I'll leave you alone huh?"

I managed a small nod and I was released and fell to the ground panting and coughing. She came to me and lifted my chin with her wand. "Don't disappoint me half-blood. I will keep my promise so it'd be in your best interests to keep yours."

I skipped dinner that night.

Hermione tried to talk to me but I pretended to be asleep.

When I woke up from a nightmare, it wasn't what I usually dreamed about. It was of Pansy strangling me with a smile on her face.

I was in the bathroom with my head in the toilet when Hermione came in.

"Harli, I think you should see Madam Pomfrey. You haven't been doing okay and you're going to collapse if you don't get help."

"Hermione, I'm fi-" I was cut off by more vomit leaving my throat.

"You're not fine," she crossed her arms and I wanted to curse her at that moment.

I gasped as I laid my head on the toilet seat, swallowing with every breath to keep myself from puking again.

"If you won't say anything, then I will."

"Don't try to blackmail me Hermione. You won't win." I hissed.

"I'm worried about you Harli," she knelt down next to me, "it's troubling to see you this way."

"I'm just having a bit of sickness from nerves that's all, this is a new environment for me, that's all," I smiled at her, her face illuminated by the light of the candles, "if I'm not better in a few days, I'll definitely go to the hospital ward."

She didn't seem okay with my answer but she sighed finally, "fine then."

"Thanks Herm," she left out of the bathroom and I released the breath I was holding. Another moment safe.

* * *

 My neck bruised anyway and I had to wear a scarf even though it hadn't cooled off that much yet. I was questioned and questioned and questioned and I just gave off the explanation that I was cold even though I was burning up.

I noticed that Draco was being particularly viscous over the next few days. Scathing comments and subtle but harsh bumps and I didn't really believe it was on purpose until he kicked his foot out in the middle of potions and made me trip into a desk. I knocked my head and was dazed for a few moments.

I heard the laughter and then I felt a hand wrap around my arm and pull me up. I was already disoriented from the fall, plus the lack of sleep and food, plus the sudden movement, I keeled over and threw up all over the floor before I passed out in Snape's arms.

A part of me was aware of my surroundings but I couldn't focus on anything. There were voices. I think I was screaming in a nightmare. More voices.

I gasped awake and the room rattled. I had a pounding headache and with every throb, the room shook. I sat up and gripped my head. My body was trembling and my heart was racing.

"Ms. Porter."

I moaned, the voice loud in my ears. Images flashed behind my eyes and I shivered.

A hand gripped my trembling one and I inhaled sharply. A vial was pressed to my lips and I turned my head away, a terrible memory of the drugs coming back to me.

"You're magic is out of control, it's a calming draught, take it."

Muggles wouldn't know what a calming draught is, would they? I opened my mouth and the potion slid down my throat. Immediately, the trembling stopped and I felt sleepy again. I collapsed back onto the bed and another potion was dripped into my mouth before I was out again.

I didn't dream at all. It was rather refreshing as I woke up the second time. I stared up at an unfamiliar high ceiling and blinked in confusion. Where was I?

"Are you awake now, Ms. Porter?"

I glanced to my side where Dumbledore was sitting, "Professor?"

"Yes," he chuckled, "you've been unconscious for quite some time Ms. Porter."

"Am I in the hospital ward?" I asked.

"That you are," he replied gently, "you hit your head in the potions classroom and you've been out for about a day and a half."

I reached up to touch my head and winced at the knot I encountered. "I don't really remember."

"Yes, well, your health hasn't been much of a priority to you, has it?"

"Ah, I suppose not sir."

"You should fix that."

"Yes sir."

"Good, now that the easy part has been dealt with, here comes the hard part. There are aurors here requesting an audience with you, will you accept?"

"What's this about?"

"The subject is Harry Potter."

My heart skipped a beat and I inhaled sharply, "I don't know anything about Harry Potter."

"Yes well, it's up to the aurors to determine that."

"And if I decline?"

"They will return again and again until you see them voluntarily, after that it will become mandatory. They are conducting an investigation."

"I see, well I will see them then."

"It will be easy. Tell them what you know, and they will leave."

I nodded and he called them in. They looked like thugs and I scooted back in alarm.

"Gentlemen, if I may suggest you keep your distance?" Dumbledore said passively.

They paused and the two of them sat on the cot next to mine. "We are now going to administer the veritaserum."

I hesitated before I allowed them three drops on my tongue. I held back a smirk, unfortunately for them, I was capable of fighting the effects of veritaserum for this exact reason.

"State your name."

"Harli Jay Porter."

"Your age?"

"I'm 14."

"When was the last time you saw Harry Potter?"

"I saw him two months ago."

"Where?"

"Just outside of muggle London. Off the outskirts of Surrey."

"What did he say to you?"

"He told me he had to go away for a while."

"But didn't say where?"

"No."

They grilled me, question after question, sometimes asking the same questions to see if I would falter but I didn't. I practiced the story hundreds of times. So much that even I started to believe it.

"Very well, I believe that is all."

I sighed when they finally left and Dumbledore stood up. "You deserve a good rest now Ms. Porter. You are free to return to your classes tomorrow."

I nodded, "thank you Professor."

"Oh and one more thing," he turned to me and put a hand to his neck, "who attacked you?"

I brought my hand to my neck where the bruises from Pansy were beginning to fade, "I don't know, sir."

He hummed disbelievingly and left the hospital ward then. I laid my head back down and glared at the wall. I wasn't broken yet.

* * *

 I returned to my classes the next day and I noticed something had changed. My head seemed foggy, like there was a cloud around my head blocking my senses. I walked around dazed, unable to focus on anything. I thought it was a side effect of the concussion and was going to go back to see Madame Pomfrey but then the fog disappeared. I continued on with my day, never noticing when my head had gone foggy again.

The days blurred together that way. I felt like I was drowning in my own oxygen. The moments of haze would come and go like waves and I would finally be able to breathe. I noticed it would happen in the Great Hall, sometimes in the hallways, in some of my classes, and it was the worst in potions. Everyday, it felt like there was a cinderblock on my chest and it was getting heavier as the days passed.

I tried to avoid Draco to the best of my ability but it was nearly impossible as he sat behind me in Transfiguration and we sat next to each other in potions. Every brush and accidental touch, it burned, as if he set my skin on fire. The fog on top of that did not help and I wondered if I had been cursed.

"Harli," I jumped and blinked. "Class is over."

I turned to look at Hermione and I stared at her for a moment before I turned back to gather my things. I noticed a folded piece of parchment on the table in front of me.

I unfolded it and there was a time and location on it.

1st floor abandoned classroom  
5 p.m.

I turned it over and there were initials on the back and words that made my blood run cold.

I know your secret.  
D.M.

I inhaled sharply and quickly packed away all my things. I stood up and smiled at Hermione, "ready?"  
  
She gave me a worried look, "Harli, you've been acting strangely lately, are you feeling alright?"

"Ah yeah, I just haven't been sleeping well is all. I'm going to head up to the dorm and take a nap and I'll be down to dinner late okay?"

She gave me a strange look before she sighed, "alright. Just make sure you come down, you haven't been taking care of yourself enough."

"I got it Herm." I waved to her as we went our separate ways and I rushed up to Gryffindor Tower and looked at the time.

I had an hour to get down there and confront Malfoy about what he knew. I took off my school uniform and changed into a different skirt and a plain long sleeve. I hid my wand up my sleeve for easy access and tied my hair up into a ponytail. I did a once over in the mirror before I stopped myself. What was I doing? I wasn't meeting him for a date.

I sighed and began to pace around the dorm, what could he know? If he knew about my true identity, why hasn't he told anyone yet? Why was he holding on to it?

I sighed an looked at the time again. 27 minutes left.

I grabbed my cloak and walked out of the tower, mapping out my plan.

I still had time when I arrived at the classroom and Draco wasn't there when I got there. I walked inside and looked around. The classroom was completely empty and then I heard the voice and knew I'd been played.

"Well well, look who we have here."

I whirled around and came face to face with Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle.

"What do you want Parkinson?" I asked haughtily, calculating plans for my escape. They were blocking the only exit and with three of them, escaping unscathed would be difficult.

"Draco asked me to come in his place," she smiled and I felt disgusted with myself for falling for the trap.

"Are you sure you didn't come to ask me to join your threesome? Does Malfoy know you're cheating on him with dumbbell and dunderhead?" I crossed my arms.

She laughed, "as if. He's the ultimate prize. That Draco Malfoy."

"Ohh, I get it," I clapped my hands together in realization, "you're mad because he won't shag you! You think that if you get him to agree to shag you, you can make some 'mistake' and end up pregnant right?" I doubled over in laughter, "pregnant with the Malfoy heir. Wouldn't that be the highest honor? You'll be guaranteed all the fame and fortune, riches and glory then, wouldn't you?"

I was getting under her skin, I could tell. She was turning red and she clenched her fists as her lips puckered. It was a sight I saw often from Vernon Dursley.

"But, he won't shag you, I can imagine why, and so anyone you think is a threat to your goal, you're trying to get rid of. Then he'll have no choice but to look at you. Am I wrong?"

She didn't say anything for a while and then she started cackling. Psycho kind of laughter and it made my skin crawl. "Yes, that's right. I love Draco and I want nothing more than to carry his children. If I get the Malfoy fortune while I'm at it, so be it but you will not stand in the way of that, I'll make sure of it. He seems to have some kind of sick attraction to you so when you have a pest, you must eliminate the problem at the source." She snapped her fingers and I pulled out my wand. "Crabbe, Goyle, you know what to do."

They started advancing on me and I lowered my wand in alarm for a split second but that split second was all it took for it to be knocked from my hand. They grabbed me and forced me to the ground and it brought back terrible memories. I gasped as the horrific images flashed behind my eyes and I struggled hard.

"No no, let me go, please, please," I struggled to breathe.

"You take the front, I'll take the back?" I heard one of them say and I whimpered.

"Oh, you like that?" I felt a hand slide under my shirt and I pulled my arm back and hit one of them in the crotch. I brought my foot up and kicked the other one somewhere but it forced him to let me go.

I tried to crawl away, gasping for air, the sudden influx of memories taking my breath away. I was pushed back down by one of the two oafs and my hands were held behind my back.

"No, no no no, no no," I cried.

"Shut it! Crucio!" There was an intense, excruciating pain running through my bones. I screamed, and a hand came over my mouth. I waited for it to let up but it never did. I felt reprieve for only a moment before the pain started again, and I turned over to throw up.

Somewhere between the stabbing pain, I felt my a hand run up my leg and my shirt be pulled off. I closed my eyes as I convulsed violently and I just wanted it to end.

Finally, the pain stopped and my entire body trembled from the aftermath of the curse. Pansy leaned over me with a smile, "maybe you'll think wisely the next time you try to get close to my Draco."

She pointed her wand at me again, "crucio!"

"Expelliarmus!"

"Stupefy!"

So much happened at once and I just laid there as Crabbe and Goyle were hit with the stunning spell and slowly I closed my eyes. The fog had returned so I thought maybe it was just time to take that nap now.

I saw a flash of platinum blonde and heard a soft voice that said everything would be fine now.

* * *

 Consciousness came back to me slowly. I spent what felt like a long time lingering on the edge of oblivion and it wasn't pleasant. I heard a lot of different voices, I felt some prodding, and I had a few dreams but I couldn't seem to wake up. That was until, I heard the voice of Draco Malfoy.

He sounded somber, and he apologized to me, I think, but I wasn't conscious enough to hear what he said. It made me angry and that anger manifested into a nightmare where I saw Crabbe and Goyle ripping off my clothes and Draco was sitting on a desk watching with Pansy on his lap.

I woke up relatively calm and I stared up at the ceiling of the hospital ward yet again.

"How are you feeling Ms. Porter?"

I sighed at the deja vu I was feeling, "I'm feeling like I have been at this moment with you before Professor Dumbledore."

He chuckled, "yes I suppose it was not that long ago you were in here."

"Are there aurors here again?" I questioned.

"Yes. They need a statement and a memory for the pensieve in the trial for the expulsion and arrest of Pansy Parkinson."

"Trial?" I asked quietly.

"Why yes, that's usually what happens when someone uses an unforgivable upon another human being. Ms. Parkinson has been removed from the school grounds and is currently in ministry custody until the proceedings. We have a few witnesses to her crimes and of course the victim's eyewitness testimony."

I hummed in acknowledgment, "what did she do?"

"She is being charged with the use of illegal curses upon you and others, the use of the Cruciatus Curse upon you, and the use of the Imperius Curse upon Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, and Draco Malfoy."

I sat up, "Malfoy was under the imperius curse?"

"Yes, unfortunately. He was fighting off the effects for a month or so before he was able to break free of the curse."

I dropped my shoulders. So I hadn't been set up by Malfoy. "What about Crabbe and Goyle?"

"They are being investigated as well to ensure they were working under the imperius curse before they are charged with anything. As it stands, they have also been removed from Hogwarts and are awaiting investigation."

"And I was cursed with an illegal curse?"

"Yes. It is a curse that separates the afflicted person from their involuntary motor functions upon proximity to a specific object. In this case, the object was Draco Malfoy. It was very lucky you did not die from the curse."

"And now?"

"You have been treated with a counter curse and will no longer be affected."

I nodded in understanding. The aurors came in and took a statement of my side of the story and a memory of the incident before leaving. I asked if I would have to be present for the trial and they ensured I wouldn't because it would interfere with my schooling. The less contact with the ministry the better in my opinion.

Professor Dumbledore finally left me and I brought my knees to my chest. It seemed that abandoning my old life brought more troubles than it was worth.

I closed my eyes and held onto the notion that I might be being unreasonable but there was nothing I could do about it now. Harry Potter could not exist while Harli Porter strutted around in this universe and she would be staying for a long time as it stood. I guess I had to start playing the part. Now that Pansy Parkinson was out of the picture, I thought that going after Draco Malfoy would be my next step. After all, playing around with the feelings of the Slytherin Prince before dumping him to the ground, what could be more satisfying than that?

"Hold him down!"

I struggled as the arms held me to the ground and the three men leered from over me.

"I always did like a good struggle. Now, be a good bitch and hold still."

I heard a voice. Shattering glass. Blood. Crying.

There was a hand on me and I reached up and gripped it tightly. "Harli, wake up."

I gasped awake and was met with the startled silver eyes of Draco Malfoy. I hyperventilated and he shushed me, "calm down, you were having a nightmare."

I looked around with wild eyes just to make sure I was still where I was supposed to be and my heart started to calm down. "Let go of me," I said quietly.

"You're holding onto me," he replied just as quietly and I yanked my hand to my chest.

I saw Madame Pomfrey from the corner of my eye repairing the glass in the windows.

"Did I do that?" I asked softly and the blonde nodded. I cursed at myself, "why are you here?"

"I came to apologize," he said gently.

I looked away from him, "why are you apologizing to me? It's not your fault."

"Yes, you know that now," he rolled his eyes and a part of me was glad to see that side of him still, "but then, you didn't and I just want to make sure you know that it wasn't me."

I smiled tiredly at him, "what's this? The great Draco Malfoy is actually apologizing to me for something that isn't his fault? Is the world ending? Are you still being mind controlled?"

"Take this seriously," he scoffed.

"Oh trust me, I am. I'm dragging it out for as long as I possibly can." I grinned.

"Mr. Malfoy," he clicked his tongue when Madame Pomfrey called his name, "it's time for you to leave now. It's nearly dinner time."

He looked at me for a while before he stood up and left without another word.

"Madame Pomfrey, when can I leave?" I asked.

"I'm sorry dear, Professor Dumbledore asked me to keep you here overnight because of your magical outbursts. He doesn't want you to destroy the dorm."

I sighed and laid back down.

"I have dinner here if you'd like it?"

"No thank you, I'm not very hungry."

"Well, if I'm going to give you this dreamless sleep potion, you have to take food with it. I can't have you blowing up my hospital ward and taking it without food will only make you sick, so at least try to eat a little something."

I was able to get down little pieces of food, agonizingly slow, and finally Madame Pomfrey deemed that I had eaten enough to take the potion.

I laid down again and sighed, I hope I was well rested after this.

* * *

I returned to my classes the next day and with me came rumors. Rumors that Pansy Parkinson had nearly killed me, that Draco Malfoy was the mastermind behind it all, that Crabbe and Goyle were just scapegoats and would take the fall, that I had gotten raped and was emotionally unstable, and a multitude of other things. I just moved along in my classes as normal and ignored any prying questions. I would let them believe whatever they pleased and I wouldn't fuel the fire.

Hermione was usually beside me and I appreciated her for that. Nothing had really changed.

It was incredibly strange sitting next to Malfoy in potions now and I didn't know how to react to him. He was still snooty and irritating but the heat behind his words seemed gentler and I always fired back with my own heat and he seemed to appreciate it. I wondered if he was just screwing with me because he was girlfriendless because of me but it seemed deeper than that.

This was the way October passed. A flurry of tears, vomit, and sleepless nights.

"You've lost more weight," Draco whispered to me during a potions lecture.

"What's it to you?" I asked.

"Well, if you drop dead, I'll be without a potions partner and Snape might put me with a different Gryffindor." He made a disgusted noise.

"Merlin forbid that happen." I snorted.

"At least I can tolerate you."

"I wonder what could be so important," I gazed up at Snape who stopped in front of our desks, "that it must interrupt my lecture."

"Sorry Professor," I said quietly. He gave a glare to Malfoy as well and I took a bit of pleasure from that. Even the Slytherin Prince wasn't exempt from that devastating glare.

I packed my things away slowly as the lecture ended and I stood up to let Draco slide past me but everything went sideways, "wha-"

"H-hey!" I tried to right myself but my body wasn't listening. Well, I guess that was the end of that. Going to sleep at that moment never felt so good.

Madame Pomfrey greeted me when I woke and I felt like I had disappointed my mother the way she looked at me.

She reprimanded me for a long time on how dangerously underweight I was and how she wanted to send me away to St. Mungo's for a long term rehabilitation program. I merely stared at her blankly and she sighed.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"There's nothing wrong, I've just gone a long time eating far and in-between that's what my body is used to. It's just gotten to the point where my body is rejecting any food I try to eat. I have to eat very little and very slowly but by that time my metabolism has burned it all anyway."

"Telling me this, I cannot just leave this alone as a mediwitch." She stood up and walked away. I sighed knowing this was going to blow up into a big issue.

Within the next hour, Professor Dumbledore, Professor Mcgonagall, three mediwitches from St. Mungo's, and Madame Pomfrey were in the hospital ward arguing on whether I should be removed from the school and put into a rehabilitation program to gain weight before my organs shut down as it seemed my magic was the only thing keeping me alive.

"Don't I get a say in this?" I asked and they shouted a unanimous no at me.

Because I didn't have a noted guardian, I was therefore a ward of the ministry and it was up to the mediwitches to make the decision on my behalf, but because I attended Hogwarts I was therefore a ward of the headmaster which left it to him to make the final decision. I sighed, I just wanted to go back to sleep.

Luckily for me, Dumbledore voted on my behalf and I was allowed to stay at Hogwarts under the condition that I follow a strict food programme that gave me specific times to eat and what to eat and if I didn't gain the amount of weight I was supposed to by Christmas break, I would spend it at St. Mungo's.

I agreed only because I wanted to deal with the least amount of ministry interaction as I could.

Another three days I spent in the hospital ward so the Madame Pomfrey could ensure I kept to the programme from the start.

"How are you feeling today Ms. Porter?" She asked as she woke me up 6:58 a.m. on the dot just so that she could hand me over my first meal at seven.

"I feel like I'm ready to leave the hospital ward." I grunted in reply. I can't deny that those dreamless sleep potions worked wonders and I actually felt rested. I knew that I would regret it when I went back to the dorm and the nightmares came back because I didn't have them anymore.

"It's been wonderful having you here, it gets so boring here," she smiled as I sat up, "and besides, you'll be returning to your classes today."

"Horray," I muttered unenthusiastically.

"I could always keep you here until you gain more weight." She smiled slyly.

"No, please don't do that to me. School is important remember? That's why I'm not at St. Mungo's." I chewed slowly as I was reprimanded for eating too quickly before because I was just trying to get it over with. I had gone days without eating before, this was nothing.

I finished and got off of the cot that had been my bed for the last three days and stretched. I suppose I did feel better than a few days ago.

Alright Ms. Porter, you take yourself down to the Great Hall and if you feel like eating more, please do."

I finished my morning routine quickly and took my booklet from her. With a wave I left the hospital ward and headed down to the Great Hall.

The hall was virtually empty as it always was this time of morning and I sat down at the Gryffindor table with my potions notes. I'd finished my supplementary work for all of my classes and I made sure to maintain my nearly perfect grades.

Students started trickling in as it became later in the morning and I was nearly strangled by Hermione when she saw me. I had begun to get Ron to open up to me more and he patted me on my shoulder.

I got up to go to charms early and submit my homework. I wasn't even halfway down the hall when a voice called out my name.

I turned to look at Draco who walked briskly, as jogging was too commoner to describe it, to catch up to me.

"Yes, can I help you?" I asked.

He hesitated for a moment then cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head.

"Lost for words?" I raised an eyebrow.

"No," he cleared his throat again and I was becoming very nervous, "would you, uh, go on a date with me?"

I stared at him wide eyed for a few seconds and seeing him shift on his feet, a pink tinge to his cheeks, I laughed.

"Don't joke around Malfoy," I laughed as I turned away, and he grabbed my arm. I looked back at him and he stared at me intensely.

"I'm not joking, and this time I'm not asking. Go on a date with me."


	3. Winter Wailing

Temporarily Untitled

.

.

.  
Winter Wailing

* * *

The start of Christmas break had me waving away Ron and Hermione. I had only gained a pound in weight and Hermione chided me on taking care of myself properly and had even tried to stay with me over the break.

"I'll be fine Herm," I laughed and she hugged me tightly.

"I'm just an owl away and I will be on the train back here if you need me."

"I don't need you to do that," I smiled, "but I'm glad I have a friend I can count on."

"You sure you don't want to come to the Burrow with us? My mum would love to have you."

"I promise I'll be alright here, now go on before you miss the train!"

It wasn't that I didn't want to go but I couldn't guarantee that my secret wouldn't be found out by those mischievous twins. I couldn't risk it. I waved them away as they left for the train and turned to go back to the Gryffindor Tower.

It was strange to hear the silence of the halls now that the majority of the students had left for break. I heard a noise behind me and pointed my wand toward the neck of Draco who had snuck up on me.

He raised his hands and I sighed and lowered my wand. "Don't sneak up on me like that."

"Don't be so scared," he chuckled and it sent chills down my spine, "there's no one here."

"You're here," I snorted, "why are you here anyway? You didn't want to see your parents for the holidays?"

"I did but you owe me a date so I told them I wasn't coming." He said as he fell into step with me.

"What a silly reason to not see your parents for the holidays," I really meant those words since I didn't have parents to see, "you should appreciate them more."

"Trust me, I appreciate them more than you know but you can always come see them with me next time."

"I don't think that's a good idea." I admitted, meeting Malfoy's parents, especially Lucius, was not something I was ready for, "but thank you for the invitation."

"I'll change your mind don't worry." He dropped the subject but based on the smirk on his face I could tell the conversation wasn't over.

"So when would you like to go on this date?" I asked quietly.

"How about tomorrow, or the next day?"

"Tomorrow," I nodded, "that's fine. Anyday is fine actually, it's not like I have anything planned."

"What about the potions essay due when classes start up again? Or the Transfiguration one?"

"Just ruin my fun why don't you," I huffed.

"We can work on it together," he suggested and I raised an eyebrow.

"Who are you and what have you done with Draco Malfoy?"

"Don't be a prat, I'm offering my help to you, especially in potions since you suck," he snorted.

"Great, perfect company for help," I muttered sarcastically, "well we'll go tomorrow anyway, that's fine."

He nodded as well and I was surprised when he gave me a small package the size of my palm, "enlarge it and put it on to wear when we go out."

"Will I hate it?" I asked.

"You might, but you'll wear it anyway won't you?"

"What if I choose not to?"

"I might decide there's some dirty secret I found out about you that I want to reveal to everyone."

My heart lurched, "what kind of secret?"

He leaned in close and I tensed as he whispered into my ear, "put it on, and no one will ever know. If it gets out, you'll be the last to know."

"There's no one here," I stammered.

"Haven't you ever heard of a thing called an owl? Trust me, I have plenty of ways." The smirk on his face was gut wrenching and I swallowed as he walked away. "See you, Harli. Noon, tomorrow."

I walked back to the Tower with trembling legs. Did he really know my secret? I gave the password to the Fat Lady and entered the common room. I was alone in the Gryffindor Tower and trailed up to the dorm. I collapsed onto my bed and swallowed the terrible feeling I had.

* * *

It was a dress. It pissed me off because it was a cute dress. It was green with silver trimmings and there were long socks and knee length boots to pair. I grumbled as I put the thing on and tugged on the socks and boots. I looked like I belonged in Slytherin.

"That conniving bastard," I grunted, "I should've known better than to trust a Slytherin."

I grabbed my pouch and left the dorm and walked down to the entrance hall. It was nearly noon so I wasn't all that surprised to see him there waiting for me.

"Hey," my insides melted a bit when he gave me that charming smirk. I never thought I'd get butterflies in my stomach from Draco Malfoy ever.

I swallowed hard and smiled back as he approached me and clipped a cloak around my shoulders

he held his arm out toward me. I took his arm and looped my hand into the crook of his elbow.

I followed him from the great castle down to the little town of Hogsmeade. We walked in relative silence, the only disruption was when he told me how nice I looked in the dress and asked if I had gotten any sleep.

I replied kindly, distracted by this secret he was holding over my head. He seemed to notice my discomfort and he pulled me into the Three Broomsticks first.

We sat down in a secluded corner and was served butterbeer and biscuits.

"I lied." He said simply.

"What?" I replied as I nibbled on a biscuit, my leg tapping anxiously.

He put his hand on my knee to stop it and I looked into his eyes, "I never had a secret to blackmail you with. I thought if I said it, you would spurn you to come with me and find out what it is but I didn't think you would freak out so badly about it." He ran a hand through his hair and I swooned inside, "it makes me think you have a secret to hide, do you?"

"No," I laughed nervously, "I thought that maybe I had done something rather embarrassing and hadn't realized and you were going to be cruel enough to spin it into a huge scandal. It was a really terrible method to get me to go out with you." My shoulders relaxed unconsciously and I swear I saw the corners of his lips curve upward the tiniest bit, "I already said yes hadn't I? You didn't have to threaten me to make sure I went along with you."

"You're right," he sighed, "my behavior was inexcusable. Very childish and unscrupulous."

"Well Mr. Malfoy, that I agree with," I took a sip of my butterbeer, "what now?"

"Since I forced you out on this date, we can just go back and forget it ever happened," he looked away and I pursed my lips.

"Or, you can make it up to me and continue this "date". I'm not angry at you and we're already out so we might as well." I held my hand out to him.

I wouldn't call it a smile but something of a relieved and satisfied tilt came upon his mouth as he took my hand into his.

"Okay," he set down money for our drinks and stood up. I followed his lead and went along as we left the pub.

"Where would you like to go?" He asked as we walked through the quiet village.

I want to go to Honeydukes first," I smiled.

"Honeydukes it is then," he nodded even though he had to be against the idea.

We entered the calm store and my eyes roved over the candy in excitement. I wanted to be a bit childish and it felt good to feel like a carefree teen again. I skipped around the store picking things here and there, and I shoved a sugar quill in Draco's mouth as I passed his amused figure. I felt his eyes on me as I grabbed whatever I wanted and shove it in a bag to pay for. I passed by Draco again and I stared as he sucked on the sugar quill and placed the next one I grabbed in his hand. I skipped around more an handed Draco another sugar quill as I passed and on the fourth pass he grabbed my hand and gently pulled me closer, "Harli, I don't want anymore sugar quills."

He took one and put it in my mouth before taking me to the front and putting down 5 gold galleons and requesting the change be kept for all the candy I wanted. He shrunk the bag of candy and proceeded to drag me back to the Three Broomsticks and into the fireplace. He grabbed a handful of floo powder and said very clearly, "The Leaky Cauldron."

"Draco? Where are we going?" I asked as he pulled me from the fireplace.

"You'll see," he smiled softly as we made our way through the midday crowd. He pulled me into the Sugarplum's Sweets Shop.

"Grab a cake or something, there's something I need to get." He pressed another 5 galleons into my hand and hurried out of the store. I stood speechless and confused at the sudden change and frowned. I turned and sighed feeling the urge to leave but then I saw the beautiful green cake in the display window at the counter. I went to windows and pressed my hands to the glass, the silver decoration on the cake like a platinum halo on the emerald green icing.

"Excuse me miss, please remove your hands from the glass," I looked up to meet with ocean blue eyes, about ten shades darker than Draco's.

It registered to me what he said and I immediately removed my hands from the glass, "sorry."

He gave me a long look before smiling, "it's alright."

We stayed in an eye lock before it got awkward and I cleared my throat and looked back down at the cake, "uhh.."

"My name's Tyler, what's yours?"

"Harli," I muttered uncomfortably.

"What a cute name, it matches the person it belongs to."

"Thanks," I gagged internally but added a smile to my motion of gratitude. He grabbed one of my hands that rested on the counter and brought it to his lips. I jerked my hand away immediately and took a step back.

"Please don't touch me unnecessarily," I sneered in disgust.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were gonna be so against physical contact," he raised his hands in defense, "man, your boyfriend must have it rough."

"I don't have a boyfriend," I tisked, "and it's not you so you don't have to worry about that."

He snorted, "that guy that just came in with you wasn't your boyfriend?"

"It's none of your concern," I turned away ready to leave when I felt a tug on the back of my head. I looked back at the guy who had a handful of my hair and I reached for my wand but then I saw a wand, followed by an arm reach past my head and point toward his neck.

"Let her go," it was Draco's voice and I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, "now."

"Tyler!" There was another man that came from the back of the store and Tyler let me go. Draco pulled me away from the counter and wrapped an arm around my waist. I turned my body toward his slightly and wrapped my arm around his back.

"Walk away," the man said to Tyler.

Tyler glanced in my direction and I averted my eyes, I heard him scoff and kick the counter before he disappeared into the back.

The other man behind the counter glared for a while longer before he scratched his head and looked at us.

"I'm really sorry about that. That was inexcusable behavior. He will be dealt with accordingly."

Draco wasn't just satisfied with just a reprimand, he was out for blood. He spoke to the man in the irritating Malfoy way and I stopped listening after he demanded Tyler's job.

I walked around the store, the trip to Honeydukes and the altercation just now took all my interest away from anymore sweet things.

"Hey Harli," I looked at Draco who waved me over. "Did you want something?"

I came over to the blond who seemed satisfied with the outcome of his conversation. The man seemed tense but smiled at me nonetheless, "you were looking at this cake right? I can see your handprints on the glass."

I blushed, "ah, yeah."

"I've got one in the back, did you want to have something written on it?"

I glanced at Draco before I looked back at the man, "yes, do you have parchment?" I smiled as I wrote down some words on the small piece of parchment he gave me.

He hummed in approval as he took the parchment to the back and I smiled at Draco.

"What did you write?" He asked.

"You mean you didn't see? You were looking right over my shoulder."

"Yeah, but I couldn't see the words," he shrugged.

"I guess you weren't meant to see it then, you'll have to find out when we get back."

He smirked at me, "cheeky thing aren't you?"

I grinned at him and the guy came back with a green box with a large silver ribbon, "Happy Christmas to the both of you."

"Happy Christmas," I waved as we left the store and I shivered as the cool winter air hit me.

"We were in there for a long time," I breathed, "I didn't realize how cold it is out here."

"Do you want to go back?"

"Actually, I want ice cream." I licked my lips as I looked toward Florean Fortescue.

"How could you possibly want ice cream in this cold weather?" He inquired but started walking toward the ice cream shop anyway.

"Ah, young mister Malfoy, and who's this?" I smiled at the man and Draco nodded curtly. "On a date today?"

"We are," Draco didn't miss a beat and I couldn't help the small smile that came to my lips.

"How nice to be young and in love," I held back a laugh and Draco squeezed my side. Why was his arm still around me anyway?

"Well what would you like?"

I wanted to try Rocky Road and Draco just ordered coffee.

He pulled me to sit down next to him and I ate spoon after spoon of ice cream while Draco stole some here and there.

"Are you alright?" He touched my head near my ponytail and I pulled out the rubber band holding it, "he pulled it."

"I'm fine, it wasn't that bad," I put my hair back up and turned back to my ice cream. "What did you say to that man?"

"He said he would fire the guy and I will make sure he is never employed anywhere near here." His frown came back and I poked the worry wrinkles.

He gave me a scandalized look and I laughed, "if you keep making that face you will begin to look old soon."

The tiniest of smiles touched his lips and I reached over and stole a sip of his coffee. I immediately made a face and he chuckled.

"What is that monstrosity?" I gasped as I ate more ice cream to get the horrible taste from my mouth.

"Black coffee, it's the only way I drink it. I like tea a bit sweeter though."

"Ugh, that is... admirable. And utterly revolting."

"Not everyone has a sweet tooth like you," he laughed again as he took another bite of my ice cream.

"As you eat my ice cream," I pursed my lips.

"Did you want more?" He dipped the spoon into the melting ice cream and pressed it to my lips.

Our eyes met and I opened my mouth and allowed him push the spoon into my mouth, "I'm not an infant, I can feed myself."

I did end up taking his coffee when it was about halfway and dropped a glob of ice cream and a packet of sugar in it.

"You have no shame," he shook his head as I leaned against his side and drank from the mug.

"It tastes like hot chocolate coffee now."

I intended on playing the blond and getting a good date out of the deal but I didn't expect to actually have a good time. It was dark outside by the time we left the ice cream shoppe and I wasn't totally against it when Draco pulled me closer to him and I thought that I just needed to play the part.

We went back to the Leaky Cauldron hand in hand and flooed back to Hogsmeade.

"Did you have fun?" He asked as we walked back toward Hogwarts.

"I did, it was really nice." I smiled at him and he pulled the hood over my head as it began to snow. "Did you?"

"Yes, I enjoyed our time together." He smiled at me and my heart jumped in my chest.

We entered the entrance hall and I was surprised when he turned to me, leaned forward and kissed me. It was chaste and happened so quickly I didn't know how to react.

He straightened with a smirk and I stared dumbfounded as he bid me goodnight. "Come down tomorrow so we can work on those essays."

He went down the stairs toward the dungeons and I touched my lips.

"He didn't give me my candy..."

* * *

 I was nervous when I walked into the Slytherin common room. I knew that no one outside of Slytherin was allowed in there but Draco invited me in anyway.

"Is it fine that I'm here?" I asked as I settled at one of the tables with my books.

"There's no problem, there's no one here to complain."

"I'm here," one Blaise Zabini called from his spot on the other side of the common room.

"You're not complaining," Draco scoffed.

He sat down next to me with a few pieces of parchment but no books.

He must have notice my confused look because merely said, "I'm done already. I said I would help you."

I tisked and sat back, "I'm done as well. I finished the day before yesterday."

"Let me look it over."

I handed my essay over and snatched his before he could protest. I frowned as I read it, my frown becoming deeper as I continued down the page. He was too good at what he did.

"You've got a mistake in the process. Here and here." He pointed them out and I went in an fixed it.

"This was the one we did in class right?" I asked.

"Yes, a few weeks ago before you collapsed."

"That's probably why I don't remember."

I packed my things away and stood, "well then, I guess I better head back."

"To do what? Lounge around alone in Gryffindor Tower?"

"Well, do you have a better idea?"

And that is how we ended up playing exploding snap with Blaise getting dragged along for the ride.

Draco gave me my bag of candy somewhere in the middle and I may have started a fight. Two hours later I laid in a battleground of smoke, singed cards, and candy in the middle of the Slytherin common room.

"You two owe me more candy."

"You started it," I heard Draco call from behind me.

"I tried to stop it but no, you always have to have the last word. I'm blaming it on you."

"Seconded." Blaise called from somewhere else.

"You're also to blame, I want my candy."

It was quiet for a while before I sat up. "It's getting late, I'm going to head up for dinner."

I waved my wand and the mess cleaned up. Draco stood up as well and stretched, "I'm coming too."

I saw Blaise lift his arm, "I'll be there when I feel like it."

"There won't be any food left when you feel like it," I snickered.

Draco wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I heard Blaise call out, "you're not bad for a Gryffindor."

"You're still bad for a Slytherin. Get better at exploding snap."

"Piss off!" I laughed and walked with Draco out of the common room.

"You two seem like good friends." I commented.

"We are. I've known Blaise for a long time."

There were two other Ravenclaw and three Hufflepuff in the Great Hall. I separated for Draco and grabbed a small portion of food to start. I followed my programme almost to a T, skipping a few snacks when I really wasn't feeling it but I had gained another pound which Madame Pomfrey was delighted for at my progress check that morning.

I still felt a bit nauseous when I ate and I was surprised I was able to keep down the ice cream and coffee from the day before.

I ate what I could and stood up from the table. It was kind of lonely eating alone in the relative silence.

I walked out of the Great Hall and I heard my name. I rolled my eyes, thinking that I had been in this situation before. I turned to Draco who had begun walking beside me.

"What is it now?" I sighed and he snorted.

"Pleasant, aren't you?"

"Make it snappy now Draco, I'm on a time constraint."

"To do what? Go to bed?" He scoffed.

"Exactly."

"Pathetic."

I turned on my heel and started to walk a different way and he caught up, "okay, okay, I'm sorry."

"What did you want?"

"Would you go out with me again?"

I snorted, "going to blackmail me again?"

"No. Look, I'm sorry about that. I apologized already didn't I?" I looked at him unimpressed, "okay, I wanted to go on a proper date with you. One without blackmail or lunatic store workers. Of course, if you don't want to, I understand."

He seemed genuine as he looked into my eyes, "do I have to give you an answer now?"

He seemed surprised that I didn't flat out say no. He shook his head and I smiled, "I need to think about it."

He nodded and I started toward the tower again.

"At least come down to the common room again tomorrow?" He called to me. I raised my hand in a nonchalant wave but didn't give him a response.

It was funny to see Draco Malfoy chase.

I spent the next two days in the dungeons hanging around at Draco's request. I didn't know how to feel about him. He didn't know who I truly was but I knew him and I wouldn't forget how he treated me and my friends. I still want to get back at him but I haven't found a good moment to do it. I accepted his request for another date and I wasn't sure what he was planning but he gifted me another nice dress, nicer than the last one, and a note with special permissions from the Ministry to leave the area of Hogwarts and/or Diagon Alley. Must be nice having a father who could do extreme favors like that.

I looked myself over in the mirror again. My hair was done up in a nice style and I had decided to forego makeup sans some shiny lip balm. It was disgusting how long it took for girls to get ready.

Once again, Draco was waiting for me when I went down to the entrance hall. His punctuality was insane.

"Ready?" He asked lightly as he offered me his arm.

I nodded and followed him out the door.

* * *

 It was a really nice date. Better than the last one. We went to downtown London, though I was worried he would take me to some other strange place or country but he put a lot of my worries to rest.

We went to some nice restaurant run by wizards, because Merlin forbid Draco dine with muggles, and of course the Malfoy heir couldn't get around places without someone constantly photographing his life.

I was halfway from my seat ready to run out the door when I saw the flash of the camera but Draco grabbed my hand and promised me there would be no publication about us. He was prepared and cast a dilution charm and any photographs would come out blurry and unusable for the papers.

"They can write their story and have eyewitnesses but without solid proof they have nothing." He smirked haughtily.

I at least took satisfaction of the fact that the photographer was promptly removed from the premises. I'm assuming Draco had something to do with it, seeing just how satisfied he was as well, and I realized just what kind of powerful person I'm dealing with.

He never let go of my hand.

The play we went to afterwards was nice as well. A wizard's rendition of Shakespeare's Othello on a private balcony.

"I never want to be betrayed that way," I heard him mutter beside me.

I glanced at him but he kept his eyes forward and I swallowed back the words I wanted to say.

We left the theatre and walked around Muggle London for a bit.

"I didn't think you were one to walk amongst Muggles," I commented lightly.

"I've been here once or twice. My father has business dealings here."

"Really?" I inquired, intrigued. "The great Lucius Malfoy fraternizing with Muggles? That is a sight to see."

"You do whatever you need to stay on top," he smirked and it irked me because I was hoping to get under his skin.

It was nearing 10 and we headed back to Hogwarts. I was ashamed that I wasn't able to do anything to thwart the perfection of the situation but then I realized I didn't really want to.

Getting to know the Draco Malfoy I'd been interacting with since the break began was drastically different from the one I'd seen for my first three years at Hogwarts.

I saw a spoiled brat with a superiority complex who was just sheltered from the horrors of the world and blinded by power and money. I couldn't blame him for that. People grew up under different circumstances and our wrong foot started off because he didn't understand mine. He was intelligent, cunning, and used the resources he had to the suit his advantages. There was no chance I could overpower that.

I was impressed by him. And it really disgusted me to say it.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked. We strolled through Hogsmeade slowly, quietly, and I revelled in the fact that I was somehow enjoying it.

"I think I'm becoming enamored by you," I admitted softly, "it's a bit frightening."

"There's no reason to be afraid of developing feelings for me," he gave me that charming smile again, "why is it scary?"

"Do you not realize who you are?" I asked incredulously as I distanced myself from him, "I, being who I am, cannot fall in love with you. I cannot even dream of liking you!"

""Being who I am"," he echoed and took a step closer to me, "why is that? Is it because you are a Gryffindor? You are born of two magical people aren't you?Your reasoning for why we cannot be does not matter if I decide that it's you I want to be with!"

"Your parents..." I began and he cut me off.

"This has nothing to do with them."

"It has everything to do with them! Should you decide that this is something more than a winter break fling, it's them who will tell you if they can accept your decision or not! I don't want to take that risk with you Draco. I don't want to invest all of my emotions into you only for you to throw me to the side when it doesn't suit your best interests. I. Will. Never. Be. Good. Enough."

I was surprised when I felt his hand on my face and he cupped my cheek. ""Being who I am"," he repeated again, "I know who I am, Harli, but you don't. I can accept who I am and my flaws but you can't. That is the difference between us. I can accept that. It's your cowardice and your inability to face your problems that I cannot tolerate."

I met his eyes in surprise, "I don't understand."

He leaned forward and pressed a sweet kiss to my cheek, "you faked your death, and pretended to be someone else. You lied to all your friends, the teachers, the aurors, me, everyone."

I stared at him wide eyed and tried to pull away from him but he grabbed my wrists. I winced as he squeezed them tightly and kissed my clenched fists. I wanted to punch him.

"Why did you do it?"

"I don't know what your talking about."

"Look at me then!" I shut my eyes tightly as his voice echoed in the silent night, "look me in the eye and tell me that you are not Harry Potter."

My breath hitched and my knees trembled. A quiet sob escaped my throat and I couldn't hold myself up.

"You have nothing else to lose, so tell me the truth."

"...you known?" I squeaked, my mouth dry.

"What?"

"How long have you known?!"

He paused and released my wrists, "since you walked into the Great Hall the first day of term."

I fell to my knees and my body was trembling. I felt the emotion building up in my blood and I struggled to breathe.

"Hey," he reached for me and I slapped his hand away.

"You've been playing me this entire time!" I laughed manically and it scared me. "You knew who I was, you allowed me to get close to you! Why did I fall for it?"

I should have known, I fell for my own trap.

I suddenly felt tired and picked myself up from the cold ground. He touched my shoulder again and I screamed at him not to touch me.

I took off back toward Hogwarts, never easing my pace despite how my lungs burned or how many tears fell. Was I allowed to be this weak? Did I have that privilege? I was known as Harli Porter. I had the right to be that person didn't I?

The anger thrummed in my veins and I broke down in the girls dorm when I reached Gryffindor Tower. The room was shaking. I was exhausted but I couldn't stop. I shut my eyes tight but it didn't stop.

Terrible images flashed behind my eyes and I prayed for the darkness to both come and go away. I gasped for air and I could hear the faint sounds of wood splintering.

I reached for my wand if only for a reprieve from this nightmare I was living and flames shot from the tip like a sparkler. I dropped the wand and watched as a bed caught on fire. I looked at another bed and watched as it blew to smithereens. Was I really that out of control of my magic?

I whimpered as I shook and soon I felt arms pull me up from the floor. Half the girls dorm was on fire and as I shivered, the room shivered with me.

The last thing I remember was a vial being pressed to my lips and as I swallowed, a thought hoping that it was the draught of sleeping death.


	4. Woe is Me and My Sugar Quill

Temporarily Untitled

.

.

.  
Woe is Me and My Sugar Quill

* * *

 I sniffled as I woke up. I raised my hand to my face to wipe away the tears and stared at the glisten on my fingers.

"Are you alright?" I heard Madame Pomfrey ask.

"Yes, I'm alright. Just a nightmare, that's all."

Everyone would be returning back to the school in two days and I wondered if they would allow me to return to classes. I couldn't help but to be worried about what the future holds. If I couldn't keep myself hidden, I would have to die for good.

To join my parents... it wasn't something I had the courage to do yet.

I got up from the bed and walked out of the hospital wing. I was going mad in there.

I avoided Filch as he monitored the halls and I just wandered. It was well past midnight and I just enjoyed the fact that I could still enjoy the small things in this fake life. It might be all over for me soon. My existence was in the hands of Draco Malfoy now.

"Harli?"

I let out a sigh. Just the person I wanted to run into. I ignored his call and turned to walk the other way but he grabbed my hand. I opened my mouth to shout but he place his hand over my mouth and pulled me into a smaller corridor.

"Shh shh," I struggled against him but he held me tightly. I muttered incoherently against his hand but he merely shushed me until I stopped struggling.

"Hear me out," he whispered. His arm was like a vice grip around my torso and my back pressed against his chest.

"Listen," I shivered involuntarily as his breath brushed against my ear, "it was never my intention to hurt you. When you admitted that you were developing an emotional attachment toward me, I knew continuing as we were without me telling you that I knew the truth would have been worse if I had waited further down the line. Perhaps I went about it the wrong way. I didn't think about your feelings and I shouldn't have let my selfishness get in the way."

He dropped his hand from my mouth and wrapped his other arm around me. "I took advantage of the situation but you were also at fault. You knew who I was, you may not have known what I wanted from you, but you agreed to spend that time with me anyway. You agreed to go on those dates with me. If I hadn't known, how long would you have strung me along for?"

"I wanted to get revenge on you," I whispered quietly. "I wanted to get you back for your cruelty, and your insults, and I just had the urge to hurt you like you did to me. Tear you apart emotionally and I thought that I would use myself to do it but it backfired."

He laughed quietly, "how very Slytherin of you."

"Can you let me go?" I asked. He hesitated and squeezed me a bit before he let go.

"You're not wrong," I sighed, "I did agree to go out with you. I agreed to let you further in than I wanted to, and I paid the price for it. I don't want to play this game anymore. I want to go back to us hating each other. It was easier that way."

"Was it?" He asked, "and are you really going to be okay with that?"

"Yes!" I said in frustration, "I am, and you need to be okay with it too. It's easier to pretend that I hate you than to admit to I like you."

He grabbed my hand and I tried to pull away but he gripped me tightly. I faced him and the pure emotion that settled on his face was overwhelming.

"Listen," I started, my words catching in my throat. I wasn't going to cry or throw a fit because I needed to start growing up and taking responsibility. This was Draco Malfoy we were talking about. I didn't know how he was going to react or what he would say in response but whatever it was, I would have to be firm in my decision. I sighed and tried again, "listen, I don't know what is supposed to happen now. You know my secret, I understand that. I know that you could ruin my life if you wanted to and there's nothing I can do about that. I'm not sure what you want to do now or what you want from me but I can't be with you right now. I know that the things that have happened in this short time have changed everything and I also appreciate the fact that you haven't revealed me yet. I've done so much preparation for this new life I've created and I won't hold it against you to oust me for all the things I've done to you." He opened his mouth to speak and I raised my hand to stop him. "I need time to figure out my next move and I can't have you in the way of that. And if - if this doesn't work out and something goes wrong, I hope that you'll forgive me. Right now, I can't have you jeopardizing my objective."

His face was blank but then a small smirk played on his lips. "What if I just start over and court you properly?"

"This isn't a joke!" I fumed.

He pulled me forward suddenly, our lips meeting for the briefest of moments before I pushed him away. "How dare you!"

"Who's there?!"

I held my breath as Filch's voice rang out and Draco pulled me closer again. I accepted it as we melded into the shadows as Filch stopped near the crevice we were in. It was a good five minutes before either of us moved after he had gone away just incase.

"Now you listen," he hissed dangerously, and I stilled, "don't think for one second that I'm letting you go. I've laid claim on you and I'm not giving up. I hope you're prepared because I've made you my objective."

"Why are you so bent on having me under your thumb?" I asked.

"You've rejected me once, I won't allow it to happen again. A Malfoy always gets what he wants."

I tisked in disgust, "you're unbelievable. I won't fall for it!"

I went back to the hospital wing with a good enough plan forming in my head. Draco was the perfect scapegoat and with his brains and Malfoy charms things might just work out in my favor. It would be a plus if I could get him in the end too. I formulated the plan in my head. I wanted that life without fear and if Draco Malfoy wanted to give me that life, I would let him. He would just have to fight for it, that's all.

* * *

Today was the day. It was the day that would determine how things would have to work out for the rest of the year. Today was the day.

"Ms. Porter! Have you finished?"

"I'm finished." I responded as I straightened my robes. It was a matter of time, of course, until I had to see Draco's smug face but it was to be expected. At least I didn't have to deal with Parkinson's ugly mug anymore.

Madame Pomfrey was tapping her foot as I came from behind the changing screen she provided for me and I smiled lightly at her. She's a person that reminded me of what a grandmother would have been like. She was asked politely to escort me to the Great Hall before all the students arrived and she agreed readily but the hospital wing was her home and she didn't want to be away from it for long. We walked in relative silence to the Great Hall and I thought about the ongoing poor Parkinson case.

Of course she was expelled, even Merlin would have it no other way, but poor little Parkinson complained and cried to dear ol' daddy who is handling her case with the second best team of lawyers since the Malfoys wouldn't lend theirs, and since they aren't expected to win because there is proof she casted an Unforgivable, well, it really is sad. It was an ever occurring joke around Hogwarts, she had her wand snapped, the financial problems her family was facing, the problems in general and now everyone called it the Case of Poor Parkinson because everyone figured that's what she and her family would be when everything was over.

Apparently the Malfoys had something to say about it as well, their interview in the paper about how upset they were that their darling Draco had been framed for such a heinous crime and that they were giving good graces toward the victim of said heinous crime. They were also suing the Parkinsons for defamation of their son as well. It was funny actually, and I laughed out loud for a moment and Madame Pomfrey looked at me like I'd grown two heads, claimed to be a troll and started to dance the hula. I laughed at those thoughts too.

Another corner turned and the doors to the Great Hall were in sight. "You can get there from here can't you?" The mediwitch asked impatiently.

"Yes Madame Pomfrey, I'll be fine." She nodded promptly and went back to other direction.

It was only a short fifty metres to the Great Hall, what could happen?

"Harli." I groaned, me and my big mouth. I looked at one Draco Malfoy standing partially in the shadows of a suit of armour and could have wished for a troll to have busted through the walls instead.

"What do you want Malfoy?" I crossed my arms and he smirked at me. That charming, erotic smirk that could fell one hundred females in a single setting and maybe some males too. I faltered for a moment and my throat went dry. He was close now, too close and I took a step back, nearly crashing into another suit of armour. His arm wrapped around my back and he pulled me close, our bodies flush together and his heat feeling like a blanket of hot, sweet chocolate running right through me.

"Careful now," he breathed, his voice floating through the air, "you just came from the hospital wing, you don't need to go back."

He let go of me and I wavered for a moment. He leaned forward but I waved him away. "I'm fine."

His missing heat was overwhelming but I shook away those thoughts and frowned. "What do you want?"

He put his hand out and in his palm was a small package. I looked at him and he watched me expectantly. "What?" I asked.

"Take it." He responded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It was, but I frowned again.

"I don't want to."

He sighed and forced it into my hands, and I wished my pride would have let it fall. He was ahead and almost to the doors when I looked back at him so I had no choice but to ask him what it was.

"It's only proper you open it, I am courting you after all." That was his reply before he disappeared into the Great Hall.

I held onto it all day. I ignored Draco and avoided him when I could, but sitting next to him in potions it was difficult. He tried to talk to me but thankfully Snape was in a bad mood and wasn't having it, not even from his prodigy student.

I sighed over my food, the little present glaring at me from its place beside my plate. It was annoying, infuriating rather that I was allowing that spoilt brat to do what he liked. I tossed a glance over my shoulder and he caught my gaze at the same time, a slight gleam in his eye that was daring me to do something he didn't like. I growled and turned back to my plate when Hermione tapped my shoulder.

"Are you okay? You seem to be contemplating something." She saw the little gift and smiled. "Aren't you going to open it?"

I groaned and would have put my face down if I'd wanted to get potatoes all over my face. "I honestly don't want to."

"What? Why? Is it bad?" She questioned, her hands at her hips probably to search for her wand.

"No no, it's from an admirer of mine. I just don't feel like opening it right now. I don't want the attention." I sighed, the food on my plate no longer appetizing.

She frowned and patted my back. "Well, it's yours so do what you want with it. You should try to eat more too."

I nodded absently as I tried to ignore that heavy gaze that settled on my back from across the Great Hall.

I stood after two minutes of unbearable tension on my shoulders and gained the attention of people in the vicinity.

"Where are you going?" Hermione asked, a worried look in her eyes.  
  
I smiled weakly at her, "I'm feeling tired so I'm going to bed early. Don't worry about me."

"I'll go with you," she offered and I shook my head.

"I need some time alone. I'll see you when you guys return." I nodded and left the Great Hall, the gaze on my back disappearing as the doors shut behind me. I sighed for the billionth time tonight and headed to the girls dorm, the package in my pocket feeling like a paperweight.

The walk was comforting and the fat lady seemed to be understanding and opened right up for me as I arrived and the stairs I hadn't seen for a week and my bed perfectly back the way it was instead of blown to smithereens like it was. I collapsed on it and fell asleep just like that, without changing or anything, the package forgotten in my pocket.

Blood. Screams of terror. Laughter. Moans and skin slapping. Choking. Killing. Blood.

"Harli! Wake up, Harli!"

I gasped and sat up quickly, but it wasn't a good idea and I leaned over my bed and emptied my stomach on the floor. Heave after heave and it felt like everything was trying to come up and out of my body. I cried and cried and people were talking to me but I couldn't hear them, I could only hear the ringing in my ears.

After what felt like an eternity, I was pulled up and away from the vomit on my bed and floor and taken into the bathroom. I could hear Madame Pomfrey and her demanding voice, before cold water was poured over my head. I froze, and the silence was deafening and the only sound was the sound of water dripping from my hair to the floor.

There was movement and from the corner of my eye I saw Madame Pomfrey wave her wand and the water was gone. I was still wet and cold but she lifted my by my arm and pulled me back into the dorm room.

"Come Ms. Porter, you are returning to the hospital wing with me so that I can monitor you properly." Madame Pomfrey commanded.

I shook my head vehemently, water flying everywhere, "I can't, Madame Pomfrey, I can't! I need to stay here, I can't continue to stay in the hospital wing, it'll drive me mad! Please, don't make me go!"

I pleaded and pleaded, and I would have pleaded until my voice went hoarse but she stopped me. "Fine, I understand. You may stay in the girls dorm but another episode like this and I'll be forced to keep you there." She waved her wand again and my clothes and hair had been dried. "Back to bed, all of you."

All the girls grumbled and mumbled as they returned to their beds, Hermione reminding me to change out of my school robes and into my proper night clothes. I nodded to her and pulled off my robes when Draco's gift fell from my pocket. I frowned at it and placed it on my side table while I changed. As I settled under my now clean sheets, I grabbed the small box and glared at it. It was wrapped in silver paper and tied with a green ribbon, the little designs charmed to dance around the paper. I pulled the ribbon and opened the box, a little pillow inside and on top of that pillow was a little ring. I stared at it in surprise, he gave me a ring? It was silver inside and clear glass on the outside. I put it on and the glass changed color, well whatever was inside did. I looked at it closely and the liquid inside the seemed to swirl and pulse inside. It was pretty. I smiled and looked at it more, the color changing and getting brighter. It was mesmerizing and I stared at it until I fell asleep. I hadn't even realized I'd fallen asleep until I'd woken up to an empty dorm room.

I sat up and looked around, the sunlight filtering through the window was bright, too bright and it clicked.

"Shit!" I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I was late for lessons and no one bothered to wake me. I cleaned up quickly in the bathroom and went back to grab my wand and satchel when I saw the note on my bed table.

_No need to rush around when you wake Harli, Madame Pomfrey wants to see you in the hospital wing when you're ready.  
_ _Hermione_

I sighed in relief. So they left me sleeping on purpose. I looked down and the ring on my finger was glowing and changing color from bright yellow to a light green to a dark blue. It was strange and I knew I would have to ask Draco about it but Madame Pomfrey came first.

"Tempus," I waved my wand and it was near noon which meant people would be getting out soon for lunch. I grabbed my things and walked briskly down to the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey was waiting for me and she pushed a vial into my hands as soon as I walked into the door.

"You'll keep that on you at all times and you'll take it when you need it. It is a powerful calming draught and if you find the need to take it, you come straight back to me for another."

"Yes ma'am."

"Good, now head yourself down to the Great Hall for lunch and you eat proper portions."

I nodded and left the hospital wing hoping to grab a quick something and finish the last two inches of my potions essay on why fairy wings and unicorn tail hair are the important ingredients for a beautification potion. I went to the Great Hall just as the bell chimed and food was on the table. I grabbed two sandwiches and went out to the courtyard to eat and finish my essay. Every pair had a different potion to work on so I couldn't get help even if I needed it. I could hear the bustle of students doing different things in the halls and I was happy I hadn't been noticed yet even though I would have to find Draco soon. As I scratched down the next part of the conclusion of my essay, I thought about how weird it would be to talk to him in an open setting since no one except Blaise, to an extent, knew what we were going through.

I concluded my essay and sat it down so the ink could dry when a shadow settled on me. "I figured you'd be in there with your friends."

I couldn't help but to roll my eyes as I looked up at the persistent blonde staring down at me. "I figured the same but here you are wasting time out here with me. Don't you have a little girlfriend now?"

He grimaced and sat down next to me. "Don't remind me but if I knew you would get jealous I'd have hexed her already. Ever since Pansy was expelled, she been trying to make her moves. It's annoying really. I don't know why that Astoria can't get the hint, at least her sister is decent enough."

I laughed and covered my mouth quickly, "sorry, it's just hearing that the ever perfect Draco Malfoy is having such problems, it's amusing."

"Ha ha," he said sarcastically, "well I suppose you have more problems than I do. Did you like your present?"

I looked down at the ring adorning my right ring finger and noticed the colors; brownish, bluish, and reddish all swirling together. Draco reached and grabbed my hand when I noticed he had the same type of ring swirling with colors on his finger.

"Nervous, embarrassed, and happily relaxed. Is that how I make you feel Harli?"

I watched the colors swirl in his ring and my own ring went redder. "Your ring..."

"Hmm?" He looked at his own hand and smirked. "Yeah, my ring is connected to yours so I can see what you're feeling and you can see mine." He twisted the ring on my finger and glassy exterior turned and the colors matched Draco's. He twisted his own ring and the colors that swirled around were red and pink and thumped in time with my own heart. "There's a potion inside that can take your mood and turn it into colors. It traces your heartbeat and pulses to the beat like a dance."

My heart pounded faster and so did the ring. Draco's emotions were a flurry of colors and I realized just how intimate it really was. He seemed to notice my expression, so his next words were, "of course, if you don't like this type of intrusion, I will never look at your emotions. You can see when I'm looking and you can hex me if I ever do."

"How?" I asked looking at the ring closely. He turned my hand palm up and I saw the two letters floating. DM.  
"If I'm looking, whether you're looking at mine or not, those initials will be there. If not," he twisted his ring back and the letters HP replaced them.

"Wow, you put a lot of thought into this didn't you?" I asked him lightly and a light pink tinged his cheeks.

"There was a lot of magic that went into it but enough of that. No one else can put it on, they might lose their finger if they do and the liquid will go clear if you take it off. I'll know and I'll worry so don't take it off."

I blushed and leaned closer to him to peck his cheek and give him a quick hug and stood. "It's very thoughtful Draco. I love it. I suppose I can say your attempts at wooing me are working." His face brightened and I shook my head. "But don't get your hopes up, I'm not that easy."

"Of course not, I'd be disappointed if you were," he agreed. I smiled and began to pack up my things, when he grasped my wrist. "Where are you going?"

"I have to go turn in my essay to Professor Snape." I replied gathering my dry essay from the bench and heaved my bag over my shoulder.

"I'll come with you," he said standing.  
  
"No, I'll be fine. Go show your face and be a Slytherin celebrity. I'm sure people are wondering where you are."

He crossed his arms and gave me a weird look.

"Sorry, sorry. I'll see you around." I waved again and went back into the corridor so I could walk to the dungeons. I really enjoyed my silent walks where I could ponder on my own thoughts for awhile. Although the doors to the potions class room was closed almost immediately Snape opened the door, the neutrality of his face almost ruined by the ugly sneer trying to take over his lips.

"Porter, I've been expecting you, though I was expecting you much earlier." He turned away, his robes billowing behind him. I followed him into the classroom and he sat down behind his desk, his obsidian pupils watching me like a hawk, scrutinizing my every move.

I swallowed nervously and handed him my rolled up essay, which he unrolled professionally and read over swiftly. "It's adequate, you've done your homework I see." He made a few marks and rolled the parchment back up. Your practical potion test will be tomorrow during class, be ready."  
I nodded enthusiastically. Snape praised me in his own bland way and that itself was amazing. "I see, so you're the one." He said suddenly.

"Sir?"

He stood and went into the next room where his potion stores were. "Draco Malfoy, the most annoying and persistent student in my house, comes to me begging to make a mood potion for him. Why, you ask?" Snape exits with a half empty bottle of clear liquid. "He wants to put it inside of two rings he transfigured out of two shards of silica glass and a platinum plate. The process was difficult I assure you, the idiotic boy charmed and cursed these rings so that no one but him and the one he made it for could wear them. Two months it took for them to be completed, the worse two months of my life for that perfectionist of a boy. All for a silly school side crush." Snape shook his head, "I don't think you appreciate the persistence of that idiotic boy. He even managed to charm the initials in I take it?"

I nodded in silent surprise and Snape gave a dry laugh. "Get on, my next class starts soon."

"Yes sir," I fled from the classroom and toward the tower for Divination. Draco made these rings himself? It was flattering, embarrassing, and dizzying all at the same time. I thought I would be sick with all the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I shivered and felt giddy for a moment. The butterflies calmed and I carried on to Divination. Maybe he deserved more than a peck on the cheek?

* * *

"You have two tries." Snape began, my cauldron ready and willing. "The first try is if you mess up, you will have to restart. If you blow up your cauldron, you will not get a second chance and you will fail this test. I suggest you try your best."

The worst part about this potion chain project was that you created it together in class but in order to pass the practical, it had to be done alone. Yes, there was the homework and the research but I understood. It was a failsafe to make sure one person wasn't doing all the work and that both people knew what they were doing when creating the potion. The most awkward thing was that Draco and I were in this room together.

Heat was always the toughest part for me but my cauldron didn't explode so I added the petals of a fresh rose and stirred, hyperaware of the sounds just across the room. I didn't see Lady's Mantle and panicked for a moment but found it on the floor next to the table. It was an easy chop and add but my arm was beginning to hurt by the time I added the unicorn tail hair and I hoped I was stirring quickly enough. I forced myself not to peek behind me as I added the powdered ginger root and finished my potion. It changed colors just as it was supposed to so I transferred it into a vial for submission.

I wiped my forehead of the sweat beading there and sighed. It was a success and on the first try too. I laughed breathlessly, proud of my achievement when I probably would have failed miserably if I hadn't studied.

"Are you finished?" A body pressed to my back and I froze in terror.

_"Are you finished?" The man asked bending over my broken body, his panting breath riding over my ear. "I had fun, what do you say about doing it again before I take you back?" A sob escaped from my throat as he flipped me over. "Go on cutie, you're gonna have to get me up again."_

A scream ripped through my throat as my legs collapsed under me. My head was throbbing as the memory came back to me like a gunshot. The glass was breaking, I could hear it. I had to stop, I had to, if I didn't, I would...

"Help," I cried, there was someone there, right in front of me and I reached for them, their shoes, their legs, anything, "help me, please don't let them take me."

I was on my back suddenly and I gasped and screamed again. They were back, they had me again, I wouldn't be able to escape this time. I struggled against the person that held me down and something wet fell on my face.  
"Petrificus totalus!"

Still. And quiet. The room had become so silent beside the heavy breathing I heard.

"Harli." Draco was next to me, I could see him. "I'm going to unbind you but you have to stay still. Take this potion, it will make you feel better."  
He waved his wand and I could move again, my heart still beating like the wings of a hummingbird. I sat up and Snape, who was in the room, handed Draco a vial and he pushed it into my hands. "Take it. Then we'll go to Madame Pomfrey, you might have hit your head."

I took the potion and my heart immediately slowed. My eyes drooped and my head wasn't throbbing so hard. Draco handed me another vial and I accepted it. I downed it quickly and almost immediately, unconsciousness hit me.

* * *

 "Ms. Porter, it's time to wake up." I winced slightly as the light seared my eyeballs when I tried to open them.

"Wha time's it?" I moaned in displeasure. It had to be too early for this. "I wanna shleep more."

"Come now, you have to get up. I have a pepper up potion if you want it." Of course it was Madame Pomfrey that was waking me up.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "Here, you'll be a little groggy but you'll feel better when you take this." I reached out blindly for the potion and she put it in my hands. I gagged and winced at the horrid taste but the cloudiness in my head and eyes went away quickly enough.

"Hello Ms. Porter," I jumped at the new voice and looked at Madame Pomfrey in fear. It was a man sitting back in a chair next to my bedside and I felt more nervous than anything. He had graying edges to his blonde brown hair and was wrinkling slightly but was a handsome person. His brown eyes twinkled and his smile was kind.

"Ms. Porter, this is Armenius Anderle, he is a senior mind healer from St. Mungo's. He will be here to help you get through your trauma and nightmares. I expect you to be respectful and answer him politely."

She left then and I pulled the blanket up to my chin. The healer lifted his hand and I flinched away. The tension was thick and I was very uncomfortable. "So," he started, a self writing quill floating next to him with a pad of paper, "can you tell me a bit about yourself, Ms. Porter?"

I shook my head and his smile wavered for a second. "Nothing at all?"

"I don't want to talk right now, kindly leave." I said tersely.

"I can't do that of course, Madame Pomfrey is worried about you."

"Then sit there in silence. I refuse to speak with you anymore." I pulled the blanket over my head and laid down again.

"Ms. Porter, you're being absolutely childish. I'm only trying to help."

"Get away from me," I replied. "Leave me alone."

"Ms. Porter." There was a touch on my covered leg and I'd had enough. I threw the blankets away and glared at the man with much hate. "Don't touch me again."

"Ms. Porter, there's no reason-"

"Get out!" The healer flew back from a force of power and slid halfway across the hospital wing. I jumped out of the bed and ran away from that place. I didn't know where I was going but I knew that it had to be anywhere but there. I slowed to a walk when I was far enough and realized my feet, which were bare and cold, had taken me down to the dungeons instead up to Gryffindor Tower. I found myself in front of the Salazar Slytherin portrait and knocking on it timidly. The white dressing gown I wore was short and I felt embarrassed for a moment but I had no time to ponder when the portrait opened revealing what looked like a Slytherin second year. I pushed right passed him and into the common room where forty or so eyes turned to look at me. I ignored them all after a quick scan on the common room told me Draco wasn't there. I walked straight back to the dorm which was also empty and sighed. I shut the door behind me and collapsed in his bed which smelled just like him. Fresh sandalwood cologne and mint. It was comforting and I nearly found myself falling asleep despite the pepper up potion but changed my mind at the last minute and looked at my ring.

It was shining different colors but I turned it to look at Draco's. It was a forest green swirled with a bit of dark orange. I watched the ring pulse obsessively, his heart beat beautifully calm. I wondered what he was doing. I smiled and looked at the other side. It had my initials and I was sad only for a moment because I knew it was probably ridiculous for me to feel that way. Slowly, I was falling asleep again when the door opened while I was on the brink of oblivion. A hand touched my hair and I flinched only to be shushed a second later. I opened my eyes slowly and Draco was sitting next to me, his school robes off leaving only his trousers and a shirt.

"What are you doing here?" He asked quietly.

"I can leave if you'd like." I yawned.

"No, I'm just curious."

"Madame Pomfrey brought a random person to me while I was unconscious. I think I might have hurt him."

"Oh?" He stood and pulled off his tie.

"He touched me after I told him to leave me alone so I threw him across the hospital wing. I didn't mean it, I swear. I was so upset and he went flying when I told him to leave."

"It's okay. No one blames you. You've been frightened so it's understandable." He sat next to me again and I sighed.

"Can I stay here?" He looked at me in surprise and I blushed. "I mean, I'm cold and Gryffindor Tower is so far away and I just don't have anywhere to be. I don't want to go back to the hospital wing, and you don't have to-"  
  
He put a finger over my lips. "You can stay here Harli, I don't mind, I'm going out to the common room anyway."

"Why can't you stay here?"

"Is that okay with you? If it makes you uncomfortable..."

"I want you to stay. It's just really cold."

He chuckled and pulled back the duvet, "get under, I'm going to change out of my clothes."

I nodded and went under the duvet, my body shivering in delight. Draco took his clothes and went through another door. I giggled and snuggled deeper when Draco came back out in some shiny green bedclothes and got under the duvet with me. His movements were graceful and I scooted closer to him and shivered again. He put his arms around me and for the first time in a long time, I wasn't scared.

When Hermione gave me hugs, they were light and feminine and I didn't feel the threat that the touch of a male gave me. But with Draco holding me now, I felt safe and comfortable and there was no fear.

"You've gone tense. Are you alright?" His voice cut through my thoughts.  
  
"I'm fine actually. You're warm and comfy." I wrapped my legs around his and pressed my toes to his calves.

"Dear Merlin, you're freezing!"

"Yes, I've said that. You're warm so be generous and spread your warmth."

He laughed again and we fell into a comfortable silence. "You know, I don't even know how I ended up in the hospital wing with a senior mind healer watching me."

"You don't remember?" He asked.

"What do you mean? I'm pretty sure I went to sleep in my own bed last night and I woke up in the hospital wing. I'm kind of disappointed I didn't get a chance to do my Beautification potion test. I thought surely that I would pass."

"Harli, you did your test. I checked your score for you and you got forty-nine points out of fifty. Sev, er Professor Snape didn't give you a perfect score because that's how he is. And the test was yesterday, you've slept away a whole day. You really don't remember?"

I shook my head and my stomach dropped. "You went mad in the potions classroom. I came behind you and I must have startled you badly, you just wouldn't stop screaming and crying for help."

"Draco.." I whispered.

"It would have been amusing, if it were any other situation, to see Professor Snape fighting to pin you down so he could get that calming draught into your mouth."

He went quiet and his arms tightened around me. "It don't want to see you like that again. I felt so helpless and didn't know what to do."

"I'm sorry." I grasped his hand and linked our fingers together. "There's just so much wrong with me. I'm so broken, I don't know what to do."

"You aren't broken," he lifted my chin and I looked at him desperately, "and if you are, I'll put you back together again, over and over, as many times as I need to."

My lip trembled and I buried my face into his chest.

"I heard them talking out in the common room," he said as he pulled the curtains around his bed, "the rumors will spread."

"Let them," I smiled, "besides, I won't stay for long."

He pressed his lips to my forehead and I relaxed into his hold, my ear pressed to his heart, just as I wanted it to be.

* * *

The next day of course wasn't so lucky. Madame Pomfrey and the senior mind healer Ar-something-or-another had decided that it would be best if I was moved to a temporary mental ward in St Mungo's until they could figure out how to deal with my unstable magic and action induced flashbacks.

I went to Professor Dumbledore crying about how they were trying to ruin my education and label me as nut case. He took it like a sap and spoke with both the healer and the mediwitch which resulted in me being allowed to go back to Gryffindor and back to classes but under the condition that I spoke to a mind healer five times a week.

That's where I was now. There was a woman there now, her green eyes and round face made her pretty and innocent like and her hair was the color of rubies. She reminded me of the pictures of my mother.

"How are you doing Harli?" I had never seen her before but her demeanor was light and for some reason it put me on edge. The hospital wing was oddly cold but I preferred a blanket rather than a warming charm. It gave me a sense of stability and it was also a good place to hide if I felt uncomfortable.

She watched me closely and I watched her back. Lucky for me, they acquiesced to my demands of having only female healers without question but I didn't really like healers at all. We continued to watch one another until she cleared her throat. I held the blanket close around my shoulders and up to my nose and curled up tighter.

"I suppose instead of acting like a healer I should be truthful with you." She put her files down and the self writing quill stopped as well. "There are a lot of people worried about you love. I know that whatever has happened, you don't want to talk about it or even think about it so we won't." I perked up at that and she smiled. "We will have to talk about it eventually but for right now let's start over. My name is Rebecca Farth. I am a witch with two muggle parents. Do you like handshakes?"

I shook my head and watched her carefully. "Do you have a favorite color?"

I pulled the blanket down and her smile brightened. "G-green." I blushed as my voice cracked and she laughed lightly.

"Is there a reason why you like green?" She inquired.

"It was the color of my mother's eyes, and the color of Slytherin.." I blushed deeper at the last part and she hummed.

"Slytherin? Aren't you a Gryffindor?"

"I like someone in Slytherin." I covered my mouth and she laughed again.

"Don't be embarrassed. I was a Hufflepuff and I liked someone in Gryffindor but he would never give me the time of day. He was always about Quidditch and always turned a blind eye to me. It wasn't until ten years after we graduated that he paid me any mind and that was during a class reunion and by that time I was already married and had two darling children."

I smiled and she asked me more questions taking care to avoid questions I didn't like and encouraged me on questions I did answer.

"You can call me Becca," she said as she packed away her things.

"Becca?"

"My friends call me Becca, it's easier as well."

"Are we friends?" I asked.

"We can be." She handed me a card. "If you ever have an emergency or just want to talk, that's my floo extension. You can floo call me at anytime. The one on top is my floo at St. Mungo's and the other is my personal. Don't lose that card."

I nodded and she went to see Madame Pomfrey. The mediwitch poked her head out of her office and told me to go to dinner.

* * *

Draco persuaded me to have dinner with him in the courtyard a few weeks later and I agreed because I could only imagine the disaster of either of us sitting at one other's table. I allowed him to continue "courting" me and he was surely breaking down my walls over the last few weeks.

He gave me a box of sugar quills and I happily went for one while he stroked my hair.

"How would you like to stay at Malfoy Manor this summer?"

"What?" I sat up from my position in his lap and stared because for all I knew he'd just grown two heads.

"I talked to my mother and father and my mother invited you to stay because I know you don't have anywhere to go for the summer. She said it would be nice to have another female in the house."

"Draco!"

"Listen, I know it's sudden but it's just the summer and we'll have fun. I believe we're going on a trip to Venice in June and then to Paris in July. You'll have fun, I promise."

He stared at me and I pouted at him but come on, how bad could it be?

"I've never been to Venice or Paris or anywhere beside Surrey and Hogwarts." I sighed finally.

"Great, I'll let mother know immediately." He grinned.

"No, I want to finish my cuddle first."

"Yes, I understand." He leaned back again and I followed his suit, still sucking on my sugar quill.


	5. Sizzling Summer Sweets

Temporarily Untitled

.

.

.  
Sizzling Summer Sweets

* * *

"I hope you have a good summer Harli. I won't see you for the rest of the summer but I'll always be on floo call for you. We meet up again when school starts back up." Becca hugged me gently and patted my shoulders. "You be good now. Are you going anywhere special for the summer?"

"I'm staying in Wiltshire for the summer." I replied with a blush.

"Oh? That's very interesting."

"I was invited by Narcissa Malfoy herself. I'm very honored and excited."

"Is the one named Draco Malfoy bringing you there?" Becca asked giving me a sly smirk.

I laughed nervously, "yes, he and I will be traveling together."

"Safe travels. I'll be seeing you dear."  
I waved and she left. It was slightly depressing actually. I had seen her every Monday through Friday every week since that January day in potions class and the one day they tried to send me someone else, well they weren't very happy with me and she came to see me anyway.

I smiled wistfully and left the hospital wing for the end of term feast. I knew I would be a little late but it was fine I suppose. Hermione saved me a seat and everyone was talking and having fun when I entered. I joined in easily enough and soon we were all laughing together. This is exactly what I wanted. Harry Potter doesn't come up in a conversation nor is he thought about very much anymore. Dean and Seamus were comforting Ron well enough and even his old best friend didn't cross his mind anymore. It was refreshing.

"Harry Potter?!" My neck popped with how quickly my head turned. Someone from Hufflepuff had stood and was holding a pre-printed copy of the the Daily Prophet. His hands were shaking as he read the paper out loud and my stomach fell closer and closer to my toes. "The missing Boy-Who-Lived was allegedly seen near the Leaky Cauldron in Muggle London by an unnamed witch. She claimed he looked afraid and had a hood over his head from the dirty cloak he was wearing." The Great Hall had gone quiet at this point everyone listening intently. "How did she distinguish our missing savior from another person? She asked him of course. He looked at her deeply and told her not to tell anyone she saw him there that day. He seemed to be looking for someone and when he spotted a man in a black cloak he fled from the scene. This reporter asks, what has happened to Harry Potter? Is he in danger and needs our help? Or is he being impersonated and is really dead? This reporter hopes that everyone in the wizarding world will be on the lookout for the missing Harry Potter."

The silence was broken quickly enough and I felt sick. I covered my mouth and took some deep breaths. There was no way, someone was impersonating a person who no longer exists and near the Leaky Cauldron no less. There's no way I could have done it and I wouldn't show my true face again anyway. If it was anywhere else, no one would have expected but the place to enter Diagon Alley, it's too coincidental. Were they trying to draw me out? Did they know my secret? The Great Hall was loud, louder than before and the ringing in my ears had returned. I looked up and I met Draco's eyes for a split second. He was watching me, his face blank and eyes swirling silver.

"Harli! Are you okay?"

I pressed my fingers to my temples, "yeah, just a bit of a headache."

"Such prudes, Harry Potter hasn't been seen in a year. He surely would have asked for help if he needed it." I heard someone say. The noise in the Great Hall had doubled and I just wanted it to stop.

"What are you guys doing for the summer?" I asked trying to distract those around me from the gossip.

"Well, my parents are taking me to America to see a muggle broadway show in New York. I'm very excited. It's always nice to live as a muggle during the summer." Hermione explained proudly.

"I don't see why you would like it," Ron responded snidely, "I've learned plenty of things about muggles from my dad and while they might have interesting contraptions, they sound to be pretty boring."

"Well you wouldn't know would you," Hermione retorted, "you've never lived as a muggle and if Harry were here he'd tell you the same thing! It really is awful that he's gone but it's worse that they're slandering all over him and he isn't even here to defend himself." Hermione shook her head. "I hate it. I hate it all."

We all went quiet then and I felt bad only for a second. It was unfortunate that I left them the way I did but it was for the best. Harry Potter couldn't just disappear from the muggle world and not raise questions, he had to disappear from everyone's line of sight. "I know it's unfortunate," I started, "that Harry was gone so quickly. I'm also upset that he left so suddenly and whether he's dead or alive I wish I could know, but I know from the person that he is, he wouldn't want us to waste time mourning him. It's nice to think about him and the happy memories he left behind and this thing with the Daily Prophet, I don't know what kind of stunt they're pulling but it's saddening that they can't just leave him alone. I'm tired of feeling sad and sorry that I couldn't have done anything to help him or stop him even but I can only hope that the decisions he made were right for him and only him."

I smiled at everyone and Hermione patted my back. "So where are you going for the summer Harli?"

I frowned, "I'd actually like to keep it a surprise until it's time to leave." I lowered my voice so only Hermione could hear me. "You may not like me very much when you find out."

"Oh pish posh, there's no possible way that could happen." Hermione waved her hand.

I shrugged and stuffed a carrot slice in my mouth. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

I glanced at Ron who was laughing at something Dean said and pushed another carrot into my mouth. Hermione will take it better than he will, most definitely. I lowered my eyes when he caught my gaze and the guilt rose up to my throat. To him, I'm the most sorry.

Draco was waiting for me at the entrance and I smiled. He had grown taller since January and his face was losing its childness. He was more handsome than before and it was difficult not to blush when he smiled at me. It seemed I was the only one he would smile for. When he was speaking to his friends, he would smirk and sneer and roll his eyes but he genuinely smiled at me and I felt special in that aspect. He greeted me with a pat on the head and took my trunk from hands. He bowed to me like a gentleman and I curtsied in return. It was fun to play the polite and proper in our free time since we were expected to go to plenty of parties during the summer and it was expected I was Draco's companion when attending. He taught me how to dance, the proper order of dinnerware and etiquette, how to make cream tea the way his mother liked it, and he told me not to be afraid to tell a house elf what to do because that's what they were there for. It was an impressive amount of information to master in only five months but I was sure I wouldn't screw up too bad when in the presence of the elder Malfoys.

"Have you finished your business? We should leave now, I really don't feel like sharing a compartment with anyone nor do I want encounter any of your pitiful friends." Draco said.

"I could say the same to you." I responded frostily.

"Harli!" Draco rolled his eyes but didn't leave my side like I thought he would.

"Hey Hermione." I smiled as she hugged me and I hugged her back. "So are you going to tell me now?"

"Yeah," I laughed, "I guess you have been waiting huh?"

"What's the matter Malfoy? Did you get abandoned by your slimy slytherin posse?" Ron was walking up with Dean and Seamus and Draco sneered. I reached back to touch his hand but he crossed his arms.

"Don't worry Weasel, I've got much better company."

Ron snorted and I got a dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach. "What's that? The algae at the bottom of the lake? I can imagine, slimy just like you."

"Sure would be better than that dirt hole you call a house. What did you call it again? The burrow? Sounds about right, it's exactly where weasels would live."

Ron was turning red, as red as his hair and I swallowed. "I think that's enough now."

"Come on Harli, Hermione. We'll miss our chance for a compartment." Ron started to walk away and I cleared my throat.

"Actually, I'm not going." I said meekly.

"What do you mean you're not going?" Hermione asked, "you can't possibly stay here."

"No, I'm going on the train," Ron had turned by this time and my words nearly caught in my throat, "but I'm not going with you."

"What do you mean, Harli?" Hermione questioned.

"That place I'm going this summer," I took a step back toward Draco, "is the prestigious Malfoy Manor. I will be traveling with Draco and staying there for the summer."

"So that's it, is it? The rumours were true?" Ron's feet crunched the dirt as he came nearer to me. He grabbed my cloak, his knuckles up against my throat. I pushed Draco back as he lunged forward and stared Ron straight in his eyes. "Are we not good enough for you now? Is that it? Couldn't find any happiness with us Gryffindors so you went and turned to slimy Slytherins. I knew you were nothing but filth, it could have been anyone even that prick MacMillan but you shack up with Malfoy?" He gave me a shove and I tripped on my cloak and fell.

"Ron!" Hermione shouted but all I saw was the viciousness in his eyes, his lip turned up in disgust.

"Disgusting. Stay away from me." He turned away and I got looks of pity before Dean and Seamus followed. Hermione knelt down next to me and I shook my head and pushed her away.

"Please, just go. Follow him or do what you want but don't stay here." She hesitated for a moment but nodded solemnly and fled.

Draco was next. No words were spoken but I allowed him to hold me and stroke my hair even as silent tears rolled down my face. We walked silently to the train and settled quietly in an empty compartment.

"Why did you allow that to happen?" He asked quietly. There would still be a little while until the train left Hogsmeade to return to London but I didn't feel like doing anything. Draco's intense gaze wasn't letting up and I sighed.

"I knew it was going to happen. Ron and I, we were never truly friends but I filled the void that Harry Potter left. What I did to him, it was the ultimate betrayal. I saw the way he looked at me most times. He wanted to get closer, get information out of me, but the fear and sadness he felt because of his conflicting emotions kept us at a distance. He needed someone to blame everything on and I knew he would take it out on me; telling him I was going to be living with the person he hates the most was only adding salt to the wound and rubbing it in. He went over the edge."

Draco took my hand and kissed it, his lips brushing over the ring he gave me. "I wanted to protect you."

"I don't need you to protect me." I replied softly, my fingers tangled his platinum locks, "I knew what I was doing and how far he would go. I didn't want you to interfere."

"You Gryffindors and your stupid bravery. There is obviously a very thin line between bravery and stupidity for you idiots." Draco snorted.

"Isn't that how it is for everyone?" I inquired humorously.

He poked my cheek and I tried to bite his finger. I laughed at his horrified face and we fell into a comfortable silence. I leaned on him after I stole his cloak to keep myself warm. I fell asleep before the train started moving and I dreamt of good things for once.

"-now. You'll regret it."

I sighed against the warmth I was encased in and opened my eyes. I was so tired but there were voices and Draco was gone. I sat up and held Draco's cloak against me as I opened the compartment door where it looked like he was in a confrontation with some of his house mates.

"I will hex every single one of you right now if you don't shut the hell up and let me sleep in peace." I glared at all of them and they stared back at me. I scoffed and turned back to Draco. "I'm still cold and if you don't hurry and get back in here, I will lock you out."

I went back into the compartment and shut the door. Two seconds later, the door opened again and Draco ran into my back. He shut the compartment door and I leaned against his chest. "You look terrible you know." He said gently. "They thought you were going to kill them."

"Good," I laughed slightly, "but can't I just sleep in peace until we get there?"

"Go ahead, I'll keep you warm." We ended up in a different position than before but I drifted quickly enough. That was until we were five minutes from King's Cross Station and I was awakened by Draco and my nerves hit me full force.

"It'll be fine," Draco whispered as he held my hair back while I threw up in the washroom. "My parents aren't going to eat you. I can't give you any excuses for my father and what he's done to you in the past but I promise they aren't cruel people."

There was an announcement that we had arrived and Draco rubbed my back.

"Come on," Draco said, "wash out your mouth and we'll get our things."

I nodded and did just that and we returned to the compartment. Draco shrunk our things and we waited until the train was just about empty before we exited. It wasn't easy to miss the schooled features and platinum blonde head of one Lucius Malfoy through the sea of people or the slightly shorter head of Narcissa Malfoy right next to him. Draco had a tight hold on my hand as we pushed through the people and toward the elder Malfoys. When we reached them, Draco nodded curtly to his father and a slight smile to his mother. He nudged me forward and I bowed to them.

"Thank you for allowing me to stay the summer with you! I am honored by your invitation!"

I heard a chuckle and Lucius Malfoy's voice cut through the air. "Well, your politeness is refreshing but there is no need to bow like a house elf. Stand yourself up."

I straightened with a blush and Draco rubbed my back.

"We will wait for these people to leave until we leave for the manor. I do so hate to wait but it is inevitable at this point." Mr. Malfoy shook his head in disappointment and fell into a conversation with Draco.

I turned to Narcissa Malfoy and froze at her scrutinizing glare. She was angry at me? Had I done something wrong? Her hand raised toward me and I shut my eyes in fear but her gentle hand touched my cheek. "You are hurt darling."

I opened my eyes and looked at her in shock. Her hand moved down to my neck and her fingertips brushed where Ron had held me earlier. "Did someone choke you darling?"

"It was the Weasley mother. He attacked her at Hogwarts." Draco answered.

"How could you let that happen Draco?" His mother gasped.

"No don't blame Draco!" I intervened, "he tried to get Ron away but I pushed him away. What happened at Hogwarts was just deeply rooted pain because I remind him of someone. I don't blame anyone."

"That's no excuse." Mr. Malfoy cut in, "he had no right to attack you and that is severely punishable."

"No! I don't want to talk about it anymore. Please."

"Mother, Father, if I may, Harli is already exceptionally afraid of you. If we couldn't make her more uncomfortable?" Draco commented and Mrs. Malfoy chuckled lightly.

"It's understandable that you would be nervous but surely Draco has explained that we aren't going to bite?" I nodded with a smile and blush and Narcissa pulled me into a hug. "It's alright to be afraid at first but you'll be comfortable by the end of the month. I'll be sure of it."

"Thank you, Mrs. Malfoy." I returned her hug and she pulled away a stern look on her face.

"You call me Narcissa now dear. It will be fun to have another girl in that house of men. It does get boring very often."

I grinned at her and Mr. Malfoy checked the time. "Come, the crowd has lightened."

I turned and started walking, Draco's hand entwined with mine when I bumped into a person. I looked up my body froze in terror. My breath came in short gasps as I stared at Vernon Dursley. The world had stopped turning and the sound had been turned off. He turned to look at me and my body had shut down. He was surely going to recognize me. He would see past my glamours and snatch me right there. My mouth opened to move, but I couldn't even get my lungs to take in air. I was paralyzed.

He moved and I was able to get my leg to move back and then I felt Draco at my back. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the man in front of me and he seemed to analyze my face. My legs trembled and I thought I would wet myself right there but then Draco came around me and pulled me away from him. We continued onto the fireplaces and I tried to avoid looking backwards but I felt his intense stare on my back.

Draco pulled me into the grate and I gasped as I saw him walking towards the fireplace, still staring at me. Unfortunately, I inhaled as Draco threw down the floo powder and he disappeared from my sight behind a wall of fire and smoke.

We landed in the Malfoy drawing room and I coughed violently I tried to expel the ash from my lungs. I heard the fireplace flare behind me and the curious inquiries of my condition.

"She just inhaled some floo powder and smoke that's all," Draco replied as he patted my back.

My hands were still shaking even though I had them pressed to the ground. I couldn't believe he was there. He was looking for me. I shut my eyes as I coughed and tried to rid myself of terrible thoughts. What if he found out where I was? No, I looked up at Draco, we were in Malfoy Manor, there was no way a muggle like him could find me here. But what would happen when I went back for next term? Would he be there waiting?

I was handed a glass of water and I swallowed it down as I coughed out floo powder.

"Are you alright now?" Draco asked and I nodded.

I turned to look at his parents and blushed nervously, "what an ungraceful first impression. I'm sorry."

"Narcissa smiled, "it's alright darling. You don't have to worry about that. Draco, be a darling and take her to her room?"

"Come on Harli. Dinner will be finished soon." I followed Draco after a wave to his parents and we went into the foyer and toward the grand staircase. "That is the drawing room." He pointed at the room we just exited. "Past the staircase is the dining room, the formal living room, the greeting room, the exit to the courtyard is there also where the greenhouse and stables are." We walked up the stairs and he led me into a hall. "This is the way to my room and the opposite way is to my parents wing. Your room is across from mine." He stopped in from of a oak wood door and opened it. It was simple and elegant, dark blue carpet and linens, white walls and an attached bathroom. It was amazing and I looked around in fascination.

"You look as if you've never seen a bedroom before." Draco laughed from the door.

"I didn't know bedrooms were big like this," I replied, my hand roving over his bed linens. "You sleep on this?"

"Well of course," he said, "it was made by some impressive textile wizards in Egypt."

"What is it?" I asked, "it's soft."

"It's a fabric called silk, and the sheet underneath it is satin. You have the same on your bed it's just a different color."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's strange to see you react this way."

"I've never seen anything like this before." I sighed and sat down. "When I still lived in that house all I had was a thin cotton sheet and a bed that was too short for my body. I had to curl up so that my feet wouldn't hang off the end. The beds at Hogwarts are great but I had no idea they made beds bigger than that."

"I'm sorry." He said and sat down next to me.

"It's nothing to apologize for," I smiled.

A pop and we looked up. The was a house elf there and it bowed. "Tippy has been sent to inform the young master that it is time for dinner."  
Draco nodded and the house elf went away. "Come on, my parents are going to want to know all about you. You have all through dinner to wonder what they'll ask you because when we move to the parlor that's when we have our after dinner mints and speak about our day."

I laughed in delight and he held my hand in his own as we walked down to the dining room. "I'll be sure to incorporate those lessons you've given me."

"Oh please do, if you mess up my parents won't say anything but they will be judging you silently."

I swallowed and frowned, "I don't think I want to go to dinner anymore."

Draco laughed and shook his head. "Don't be frightened, everything will be fine."

Dinner was a quiet affair. I ate as much as I could but even Draco looked at me with worry as I placed my fork down and allowed a house elf to take away my plate with most of the food still on it. I stared at my lap in embarrassment and wanted to escape as quickly as possible.

Just as Draco said, we moved to the parlor and Narcissa asked, "Harli dear, did you like dinner?"

"Dinner was delicious, I just can't eat very much anymore. I really liked the stringy green things, I've never seen them before."

"It's called asparagus dear." Narcissa replied but her brow was still furrowed.

"I've disappointed you, haven't I?" I asked, saddened by my behavior. "I was so worried coming here, I knew that I wanted to be welcome somewhere and when Draco offered me the opportunity to stay here I didn't want to disappoint you or have you think of me as a freak. I just wanted to be normal and I can't even do that. I thought that maybe if I could prove to someone that I'm a normal person like everyone else I could be accepted. That's all I've wanted all my life was to be accepted."

"I like your honesty," I was shocked to hear the stoic Lucius Malfoy speak to me, "it's true. From what I've heard about you, I was skeptical at first and I wasn't sure if I liked that Draco had your company but the more he spoke about you, your vices and virtues, the more I realized just how imperfect you were. From what I've gathered, you weren't treated the best in your childhood and you have so much to learn about the world around you. You don't know even the simplest of things and this tragedy you've faced has changed you into a different person." He watched me with all the calmness and I felt frightened. "All the things you need to know, all the things you have yet to learn, we can teach them to you. You may have heard things and you may have seen things but as far as I'm concerned, you are in need of help that you cannot provide for yourself. I know that you and I will not agree all of the time but I believe you will come to appreciate the things you will learn from us. Draco will need your company just as much as you will need his and for that I welcome you here into this House of Malfoy. I am pleased to have you staying with us."

I nodded and bowed my head to him. "Thank you Mr. Malfoy."

"We have important things to do tomorrow. I believe it would be best for us to retire to bed early tonight."

"Goodnight, mother, father. I shall see you in the morning." Narcissa came forward and hugged Draco and kissed him and gave me the same treatment. I smiled and hugged her back before Draco swooped me away to my room.

The room across from Draco's, while it was slightly the same, the greens around the room were beautiful and the designs were different. My trunk and clothes were waiting at the foot of the bed and Draco pointed to the wardrobe. "I'm going to tell you now that my mother insisted that we go shopping for you tomorrow. She's getting you casual clothing, formal dresses, a new Hogwarts uniform and a new cloak."

"What's the matter with my cloak?" I inquired.

"I didn't say anything. Goodnight Harli." He shut the door and I was left alone.

"Goodnight Draco."

It was interesting to have a private shower and not have to worry about anyone barging in or invading my personal space. I was happy to have a nice shower and promised myself I would have a bath in the large tub one day. I was glad I had the comfortable pants Hermione had gifted me for Christmas and went straight to bed, asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

"Stupid nightmares," I muttered angrily as I shoved the comfortable blankets off my body. There was no way I was going back to sleep like this. The room was dark, very unlike what I was used to and I shivered. I went to the door of the room and opened it quietly. The hallway wasn't as dark as I expected it to be and I abandoned my own room for Draco's across the hall. I pushed his door open and closed it softly. I tiptoed to his bed, pulled the covers back and cuddled in next to him.  
It was silent for a moment before he turned over and wrapped his arms around me. "Couldn't sleep?"

"For a bit, but it sounds like you were waiting for me." I sighed into his warmth.

"You came later than I expected."

"If it was okay for me to come sleep with you, you should have just said so. I wouldn't have had to walk across the dark hall."

He chuckled breathily, "go to sleep."

I closed my eyes with a smile, "yes sir."

* * *

I groaned as Draco dragged me down to the breakfast room to eat. I found it strange that there was a room to eat breakfast and a room to eat dinner.

"It was interesting to see my father welcome you into our family last night." Draco said.

"What do you mean?"

"Those words, "I welcome you here into this House of Malfoy. I am pleased to have you staying here with us", those are special words that can only be said by the head of a house, pureblood more times than not, and it practically welcomes you into the family. The only difference between you and I now is that your surname isn't Malfoy. I think we'll have to change that soon."

"Don't be ridiculous Draco." I chided lightly.

"Well why not?" He turned to me and took the ring he made from my right hand ring finger to my left. He took his own and put it in my hands. I watched him carefully but he was completely serious. I sighed and held his hand gently and pushed the ring down his left hand ring finger. "We could change that with the snap of a finger."

I pushed away from him and shook my head. "You're impossible. Aren't you still wooing me anyway? Have we even gone on a date yet?"

"We have," he replied, "remember, back in December?"

We continued down to the breakfast room, "of course I remember Draco. How could I forget?" It was the best worst moment of my life. "But that still doesn't give you freedom to ask me to marry you, you haven't known me that long."

"Au contraire, I've known you for a long time."

"You haven't known me quite long enough," I snorted.

"I will try again properly of course," he stated confidently, "you won't want to say no."

A house elf opened the doors where the Malfoy elders were waiting.

"You're late Draco," Lucius stated sharply as he looked over the morning paper, a cup of tea next to his hand.

"It was my fault, Mr. Malfoy, I was giving Draco a hard time this morning. Please blame me instead."

"That's very daring of you," the man responded, "I dislike tardiness and you have chosen to take his lashing?"

I waved away his comment, "I dislike unfairness and Draco isn't at fault. I have a tendency to do as I please and I refuse to let him interfere." I sat down in the seat across from the Malfoy patriarch. "I'm very cruel to Draco so that you don't have to waste your time doing it. I'll take the blame because Draco has truly done nothing wrong." I paused and blushed. Did I really say that out loud? I coughed and bowed my head, "I apologize, I've gone and forgotten my manners. Good morning, Mr and Mrs. Malfoy. Did you all sleep well?"

"Yes dear," Narcissa responded, "we're going out right after you two have eaten your breakfast."

A house elf appeared with two plates of fried eggs, toast, and bacon and I smiled at the little elf and patted him on his head. "Thank you."

The elf looked like it was going to cry and popped away. I looked back to the plate and the Malfoys who were staring back at me in a strange manner.

"You're very strange." Draco shook his head and started on his breakfast. I sighed and started on my own. I got down the piece of toast, two bites of egg and a bite of bacon before standing.

"I'm going to go and get the things I need. I've decided to change clothes." I nodded and assured Draco I knew my way back fine.

The manor was a big place, yeah but even the walk back to my room seemed short. I wanted it to take as long as possible and yet I managed to get to my room, change my clothes, pull my hair into a braid, and get back down to the foyer in six minutes. I hummed to my own tune until Draco and his parents appeared in the foyer, dressed in their cloaks and ready to go. I smiled and linked my arm to Draco's, almost delighted to be with a real family even though they weren't my real family. The chosen route would be floo and I dreaded it but thankfully Draco was there and I appreciated him.

Apparently, Narcissa had a few wonderful clothing places she liked to stop at during her visits to Diagon Alley and to be honest, although they were high end, I enjoyed the clothing inside as well. She pushed me into a dressing room with a pile of casual dresses and ended up purchasing all of them after she acquired my measurements with a simple spell. She left them with the woman who owned the store and was promised they would be delivered to the Malfoy Manor the next morning. We repeated the process in a formal dress and robes shop, Draco and Lucius looking on with pity and amusement, and she took me into a jewelry shop where my ears had been pierced. I never wanted to experience that again.

"Have you gotten all of what you wanted Narcissa dear?" Lucius asked lightly.

"Yes, Lucius. I believe it's time we go home now. Did you enjoy your day Harli darling?"

"Yes ma'am, I had fun bonding with you. It makes me wonder what it would have been like to go shopping with my own mother." I smiled wistfully and sighed. "I'm grateful to have you here with me to teach me about fashion. I seem to be hopeless at it."

"You don't worry about that, I'll teach you all I know." Narcissa smiled and Lucius herded us away.

"Yes, we shall speak more about it when we return home. Come, back to the Leaky Cauldron."

We walked quietly and swiftly, people's eyes turning as if just realizing they were in the presence of the Malfoy family, only I could feel they weren't looking at the three prestigious blondes but at the scrawny, black haired stick between them. The Leaky Cauldron was only a few metres away but the hair on the back of my neck stood on end and I turned, my eyes catching the scene in a split second.

A man in a dark coloured, hooded cloak grabbed a child in the midst of the crowded Diagon Alley and ran. I hadn't realized my reaction until I had already ripped away from Draco's hold and ran after him. I knew I wasn't going to be able to catch him in my state but I knew that if I had the right aim, I could stun him. I jumped from the ground to a pedestal and onto a crate and shot a stunning spell. The man was hit right in the center of his back. I cheered in my head and ran to the man and the child. People were crowding around but I pushed past them and pulled the child from underneath the unconscious man's body. The kid was crying, his soft tufts of honey brown hair falling in his face as he shook. I hugged him close and went back the way I came but not before placing the man in a body bind. I found his mother quickly enough, the woman looked as if she were going to have a heart attack but the relief on her face after she saw her son safely in my arms, it was beautiful.

"Mumma!" The boy escaped from my arms and ran to the woman. She came to me quickly and hugged the life out of me.

"Thank you! Thank you!" She kissed both my cheeks and hugged me again. I could hear a slight French accent in her voice and I assured her everything was fine and escaped from her afterwards. Draco and his family were only a few metres away and I hurried to them.

"We should hurry quickly," I urged, "they've already called the Aurors and I don't want to be a part of it."

No words were spoken as we hurried to the Leaky Cauldron and flooed back to the Malfoy Manor, hopefully to safety from any questions or answers.

Lucius' cane fell into my line of vision, "you seem to be a very reckless person. What made you decide to run after a kidnapper?"

"I couldn't just let him take that child if I could help it. That just isn't in my nature." I argued. "I didn't think about if it was dangerous or stupid, I couldn't let that child end up like me."

"Like you?"

I cleared my throat, "I'm sorry for the trouble, I saw the little boy get snatched and my body moved on its own. Something terrible surely would have happened to him and I couldn't turn a blind eye to it. I apologize for my reckless behaviour. Please excuse me."

I dashed from the drawing room to my room and I locked the door and added a locking charm to the door so Draco couldn't just barge in. I was regretting my decision to stay with the Malfoys more and more as time passed. I knew I didn't have anywhere to go but having nowhere would have been better than the apprehension I was feeling. They were wonderful people and I was warming up to Lucius' stoic and materialistic behavior but-

No, I shook my head and wandered into the bathroom. I felt like taking that bath now and began to fill up the tub. The porcelain hole in the floor was huge and I was intimidated by the amount of water that was to go inside of it. I stripped and stepped inside of the glass shower cubicle to clean off the dirt so that I wasn't sitting in my own filth inside that beautiful bathtub. The smell of lavender wafted to my nose and I washed quickly.

It was beautiful to sink into the deliciously warm water. The relaxing scent of lavender and the soft bubbles, it was perfect. I laid my head back and looked up to the ceiling. Why was I here? Why me? Draco use to hate me and I used to hate him but somehow the summer of our fifth year we end up living together in the manor he was going to inherit. I sighed, what was his plan?

There was a knock on the door and I jumped. "Yes?"

"Tippy has been sent to retrieve the young miss for supper."

"Yes, of course, thank you Tippy."  
I shook my head as the little elf popped away after a moment of silence and got out of the bathtub. The water drained when I walked out of the bathroom and I dried with a towel. It was ridiculous sort of how weird my thoughts turned after an emotional store. I went to my trunk and pulled out a casual dress, the only one I owned and slipped into it. I knew that I would feel awkward about dinner but I took a deep breath and exhaled.

"Tippy!"

The little elf popped into the room and I smiled. "I seem to have forgotten my way to the dining room. Will you show me?"

"Tippy will show the young miss to the dining room." The little elf nodded and I followed swiftly. Although the elf was quiet, I enjoyed the company even though it was an escape for only a few minutes. "Tippy has shown the young miss to the dining room." Tippy opened the door where the three Malfoys were waiting. I entered the room and felt a bit self-conscious but I moved forward after a small smile from Draco.

I took my seat in front of Mr. Malfoy and sighed softly as dinner was served. Dinner was a quiet affair as it would always be and after the partially eaten plate and the transition to the parlor, the silence was unbearable. We all settled in different settees, Narcissa and Lucius in a love seat whilst Draco and I occupied separate armchairs.

"The scent of lavender is strong from you, the making of a sleeping draught wasn't in the agenda today was it?" I blinked at Lucius' comment toward me before a smile took over my face.

"I must say Mr. Malfoy, your humor is most bland." The humorous part was him trying to break the tension with such a terrible joke.

"Well, I don't practice everyday and I don't very much adore uncomfortable silences from my family."

"Our O.W.L. preparation this year was interesting." Draco began.

"Ah yes, those exams. You've been studying hard? I expect nothing less than straight Outstandings from you Draco."

I turned out slightly to their conversation, sleep was calling me as well as a toilet. The food wasn't agreeing with my stomach but I swallowed and took some deep breaths.

"Harli?"

"Yes?" I turned my attention to Draco who called me.

"You did pretty well on the O.W.L prep this year didn't you?"

"It was difficult because I missed a lot at the beginning of term but I was able to catch up rather well for the prep tests," I explained and I leaned into Draco and smiled at him, "I think I did particularly well in potions, thanks to you."

"That's excellent to hear," Lucius hummed in satisfaction and stood. "I have things to do tomorrow. You all have a good evening."

Narcissa stood after him and followed shortly after kissing Draco and I goodnight. We were left in the silence and Draco stood.

"Come on Harli," Draco held out his hand, "let's retire for the night."

Our hands entwined and we walked in silence to his room. I changed into my bedclothes and joined Draco in his room. After a few games of exploding snap and a loss at wizards chess, we snuggled together in his bed. His arms tightly around me and my hands on his bare chest.

"Your hands are cold." He muttered.

"And your body is warm so deal with it."

He chuckled and a blush crept to my face. "Goodnight Harli."

"Goodnight Draco." I closed my eyes and imagined the dreams I would have that night. After all, things were so perfect now, nothing could possibly go wrong anytime soon.


	6. Groans, Moans, and Magical Tones

Temporarily Untitled

.

.

.  
Groans, Moans, and Magical Tones

* * *

It was warm. Too warm. I rolled over and opened my eyes. Draco's sweaty body was almost completely covering my own.

"Draco..." I moaned, "get off me..."

There was silence and his heavy self didn't budge. "Draco?" I reached over and shivered at the heat radiating off of him. "Draco?!"

I sat up quickly and my anxiety spiked at the flush covering him and his labored breathing. I shook him but he didn't respond. I grabbed my wand and muttered a spell to check his temperature.

"Tippy!"

The elf popped into the room and I rushed to put on some clothes. "Tippy, I need you to tell Draco's parents to meet me at St. Mungo's but not to panic okay? Can I trust you with this Tippy?"

The elf nodded and popped away. I cast a feather light charm on Draco and lifted him onto my back after charming proper clothes on him. I hurried through the manor to the drawing room and stepped into the fireplace with a handful of floo powder.

"St. Mungo's!"

I collapsed in the lobby of the hospital, my horrible floo travel ways showing. Draco's too warm body was cushioned on my lap and I felt the eyes on me.

"Why are you just standing there?! Can't you see he needs help?! Help him!" I cried out, frustrated at their stares. The silence was unbearable and it took for Draco to start convulsing for anyone to move. Blood began to flow freely from his mouth and I watched in horror as his blood splashed and splattered all over his clothes and mine. His body jerked as if possessed but I was frozen with fear. I felt numb even as a few healers took Draco from me and I reached out for him as he disappeared behind the doors.

There was nothing but blood, on the walls, on the ground, on me. Limbs scattered and severed heads, brain mass settled like goo amongst itself. Horror-stricken faces stared back at me, lifeless and blaming, because I was the one who killed them, all of them.

"Harli dear?" I jerked back to reality and Narcissa's face came into view. I shuddered and scooted away, and the trail of blood followed me like the guilt of my sins.

"No no, I'm sorry, I swear I didn't mean it. I'm dirty, don't touch me. I'm sorry." The chant repeated in my head but I didn't know what was coming out of my mouth. Narcissa stared at me with such frightened eyes and I shook my head. The rejection was coming I knew it. I shook my head harder and a strange feeling passed through me as my surroundings changed and Narcissa disappeared from my view.

It was dark and dusty suddenly and I gasped in shock. This was bad. I took a good look around. I was in a little shack, obviously in a far away place because the sky was dark when it wasn't in Wiltshire. I stood up and listened through the silence of the air and I heard water. I peeked out of a dirty window and gasped. I was on a beach with ocean as far as the eye could see. How did I manage to disapparate from St. Mungo's?

There was a door and I tried to listen through it but there was nothing. The door opened with a loud creak and I looked around the outside. It was definitely an island but there were woods just in front of the shack. I left the shack to possibly find where I could possibly be.

"Point me, Malfoy Manor." I watched in horror as my wand directed itself toward the vast ocean behind me. I shook my head and continued on toward the trees, the odds of me finding someone here were probably slim but it was worth a shot anyway.  
I was shocked to hear something thing farther in the forest. I went toward the noise and paused when I could make out the voices.

"Have you ever seen a muggle go through withdrawal from drugs?"

There was laughter that followed that voice.

"I have."

"Malfoy's boy," another laugh, "it should be happening about now."

"Malfoy's boy eh? How'd you do it?"

"There's a potion, it is untraceable, unseeable, unscented. Just a tip in a the morning tea and thus it begins. You have become addicted. Once the potion stops, you will go through withdrawal like a druggie muggle and without intervention, you will die like a druggie muggle."

I covered my mouth to contain my gasp. Draco had been poisoned?

"A student took care of it. It was so easy to slip the potion through the post."

The wind picked up and I shivered.

"That should draw that Malfoy out."

"Yeah, I think-" it was silent for a moment and then I heard a laugh, "I smell something."

"What is it?"

I backed up and I heard them speak again, "it's funny, it smells like a woman, but it's not."

I turned and ran and I could hear the man behind me but it didn't sound like he was running.

"Oi, woman! Come back here! I won't bite, much. Let's have some fun!"

How did I get here? Why was I in this situation? I was knocked over and I screamed.

"No! No, no, no!" I closed my eyes when he approached for me and prayed I could be saved.

I never felt the touch and there was complete silence. I cracked an eye open and realized I was back in the foyer at Malfoy Manor. My heart was still pounding as I shakily called for Tippy.

"Young miss!"

"Tippy please, I need someone, anyone."

The little elf disappeared and my limbs were frozen. The world was spinning and I didn't know how to process everything I heard.

"Oh Merlin, Harli!"

The scream ripped from my throat before I could stop it. It was Narcissa, and she hugged me tightly. I cried and cried and I wasn't sure why she still held onto me. I was getting her clothes dirty.

"Why?" I cried, "why are you doing this for me? I'm getting your clothes dirty!"

"My clothes don't matter Harli," Narcissa was shaking as if she were crying too, "I was so worried! I didn't know what to do."

The minutes passed and eventually my heart stopped beating so quickly and the tears stopped too but I couldn't stop shaking.

"Come on Harli," Narcissa said, "let's get you cleaned up."

I let her lead me to my room and the bathtub was already full. I shivered and she smiled. "I'm going to go take care of some things. Take a bath and we'll go back to St. Mungo's okay?"  
I nodded. St. Mungo's, to see Draco. Draco.

"Wait!"

She stopped and turned back to me. "What's the matter?"

"It's Draco, he's being poisoned! I heard them."

"Harli, what?"

"I heard...them."

The world was spinning again. I was moving upside down and Narcissa was upside down too.

* * *

The walls were white and the ceiling was too.

"You're awake."

I looked toward the voice and it was Lucius sitting in a chair on the side of the bed I was on.

"What? Where am I?"

"You're at St. Mungo's." He answered. "In this room with Draco."

I looked to the side and Draco was there on the other side of the huge room. He was on his back and his face was pale. I tried to sit up but Lucius pushed me back down.

"Don't push yourself." He said. "You've been unconscious for a while. Narcissa mentioned you hit your head pretty hard when you collapsed in the bathroom."

"What happened?" I asked as I felt the bandage wrapped around my head.

"You tell me. You disapparated. Do you know where you went?"

I gripped my head, "I was on some kind of island. I heard some men talking..."

"Yes, Draco had been poisoned. Did you see who it was?"

"There was a man with grey hair, and the other man I did not see. He looked almost like an animal."

"You saw him clearly?" Lucius asked. I nodded and he cleared his throat, "did he see your face?" I nodded again.

"I think so."

"Did you hear what kind of potion it was?"

"I heard them say it was supposed to mimic the effects of a muggle withdrawing from drugs."

"You'll need to lie low for a while. That was a dangerous man you encountered."

"I understand."

He nodded and stood.

"Um!" He paused and looked at me and I cleared my throat. "The men, they hurt Draco to get to you. They said they were trying to draw you out.."

He stared at me for a while before he clicked his tongue, "it's out of your hands now. There's nothing more you need to worry about."

He left the room and it was just me and Draco. I stepped off the bed and went over to Draco despite the dizziness. I grasped his hand and put my head down. "Draco, how did this happen to us?"

I was able to return to the Malfoy Manor later on that day and Professor Snape had discovered what kind of poison it was and was already working on the antidote. Lucius Malfoy was already looking into who was poisoning his son.

I couldn't do anything else for the day and I couldn't stay with Draco after my own stay at St. Mungo's was over. I was able to finally take the bath and get clean and I was glad that Narcissa understood that I wasn't hungry and that I didn't want to participate in dinner.

This was supposed to be just a simple and fun summer vacation. We've only been back from Hogwarts for three days and now Draco was in the hospital, someone was out to get Lucius Malfoy and we didn't know who.

I wiped the sweat from my face as I clawed my way out of another nightmare. I pulled my knees to my chest and sighed. Draco wasn't here to help me this time and I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep now.

"Lumos." The light from my wand was refreshing and from there I knew it was going to be a long night.

"Good morning Harli." Narcissa smiled at me and I managed to smile back.  
"Good morning." I sat down and food was placed in front of me. The thought of food made my stomach churn but I managed down a few bites of everything.

It was the same thing for two days, after I had been released from St. Mungo's and my first night of nightmares had passed I went down for breakfast, visited Draco, had an apple for lunch, skipped dinner and repeated the cycle.

It was the third day and I had dragged myself down to the breakfast table and nearly slumped in my chair.

"Severus has finished the antidote." Lucius said and my awareness had increased tenfold. "I received a floo call from St. Mungo's a few minutes ago that he has regained consciousness."

Narcissa smiled at me and this time I could give her a genuine smile back. "Finish your breakfast Harli, we'll go see him after."

I tried hard not to shove my breakfast down my throat and I went immediately to grab my cloak after I had my fill. I traveled last through the floo so that someone could catch me as I fell through and I felt nervous, more than nervous as I walked with the two Malfoys through the halls of St. Mungo's toward Draco's room.

Professor Snape was in the room with Draco when they entered but my feet were frozen in the threshold. He looked well again, his face had regained color and the smile I had been longing for had returned to his face.

"Harli?" I tensed at my name and Narcissa patted my hair.

"Whatever you're feeling now, it's useless, I promise. No one blames you, no one is angry with you and I promise things will be alright now." I looked at her and she pulled me in the room. I met eyes with Draco and I felt worse knowing that I couldn't do anything for him.

"Harli." My breath caught in my throat as he grabbed my hand. "If you hadn't been in the room with me at that time, I would probably be dead. You saved me."

I sniffled and he pulled me into an embrace. "Draco," I cried in relief, I was happy beyond words. "Draco."

"Everything is okay now. I won't leave you alone again."

* * *

"So you have no idea?"

"None." Draco responded. There were Aurors allowed into the manor to question Draco on who he thought might have been poisoning him.

"Alright, I suppose that's all we can do for now. Have a good day." They were escorted out after a nod to Lucius.

"I will find out though." Draco muttered afterward.

We were free to go after that and we cuddled in Draco's bed because he was still on bed rest for another day.

I told him I didn't want to sleep in the room with him until he had gotten better and he reluctantly agreed with me but I didn't want to wake him up with my screams at night. I always placed a silencing charm on my room since Draco returned but I was glad he was doing better.

"What are we going to do tomorrow since you're off of bed rest then?"

"I'm not sure. What's tomorrow?"

"I think it's the fourteenth."

"Ah, there's a party tomorrow. Some summer thing that goes on every year, we always attend."

"Sounds boring," I responded.

"Ah, yeah. It is."

"I'm glad you're better Draco. More than anything."

_"Oi! Woman! Come back! I wanna have fun!"_

_"Let's have more fun before I take you back."_

_"Do you like them? The drugs are good aren't they?"_

_"Don't run from me!"_

I sat up quickly and leaned over to throw up. It happened so fast I couldn't even conjure a bucket to catch myself. I hadn't eaten much so the stomach acid burned more than anything. I heaved a few times and I was surprised to find hands holding back my hair.

"Draco... I'm sorry, I-"

He reached for his wand and waved it and all of the mess disappeared. He pulled me back and the look on his face made me feel more guilty than I have in my entire life.

"You don't even know how horrible you look right now, do you?" He asked and I looked at my lap. He grasped my chin and forced me to look at him. "Don't look away from me."

"Draco, I-"

He shook his head. "Did you know that they weren't going to let you leave St. Mungo's if my father hadn't interfered?"

"What?"

"I don't think you realize just how sick you are. If you weren't strong, if you didn't have magic, you would be dead already. Your body is to the point where the food you consume can't stay in your body because your body is attacking itself for nutrients. You're dying and you don't realize it. The nightmares as well. I heard about what happened to you and you've been lying and you haven't been eating, I know it all. Do you wish for death that badly? If you do," he pressed his wand into my chin, "I'll kill you here and now. Then you will truly cease to exist, Harry Potter and Harli Porter."

His eyes were swirling and serious. I smiled and reached for him. My mind didn't think, my body didn't freeze, our lips met and he was going to be the one to move with me to the future from this point on. "Harry Potter doesn't exist here, idiot, so don't call me that."

He dropped his wand and we kissed again. "You can't abandon me now Draco Malfoy, I won't let you."

"Then you can't die."

"For you, I'll stay alive. I'm not running away anymore."


	7. Misfortune

Temporarily Untitled

.

.

.

Misfortune

* * *

 "Draco, Harli, come now, we are about to arrive." Narcissa said.

"Aww, I was going to win the next game!"

"In your dreams Harli."

We had been playing Exploding Snap in the carriage on our way to the ball but without the exploding because Narcissa was adamant about me not ruining my dress or hers on accident.

I opened my mouth to retaliate but the carriage stopped and the door was opened by a house elf. Lucius stepped out first and held his hand out for Narcissa who stepped out next. I expected Draco to go next but he pushed me toward Lucius and came out after me. They went ahead of us and my arm wrapped around Draco's as he pulled me closer. "It is the Head of House first, his wife, then the consort, or fiancé of the heir then the heir. If you were my, er, wife, then you would exit after me. Don't ask me for a reason, I haven't particularly cared about the particulars of that certain procedure but I'm sure it would be because I am still under protection of my father as Head of House, then you, as my consort, would be too."

"Makes some sense."

We caught his parents easily enough and the doorman nodded to us as we entered. "Mr. Malfoy."

"It seems that was too important a job for a house elf to do." I whispered to Draco as we passed.

"People will do any house elf's job for the right amount of money."

I giggled and the doorman stared back at us in disdain. I stopped my giggles then and I felt bad for laughing at all. He could be working as a doorman for any number of reasons, it could be me standing there.

"Come now, keep up!" Narcissa called and I pulled up my dress to keep from tripping as Draco pulled me.

The ballroom was beautiful, the golden colors, greens, and purples.

"Come Narcissa," I heard vaguely behind me, "we must do our usual greetings.

"Of course dear. Draco honey, the Zabinis should be here already, why don't you go and try to find Blaise?"

"Of course mother," Draco grabbed my hand and pulled me along again.

There were so many people in this one place and the nerves were beginning to get to me. Draco held me close to him and I felt slightly awkward as people stared and whispered.

"Ignore them." Draco said. "They are just stupid gossip mongers that need something to talk about."

I nodded and smiled. "I found Blaise."

I pointed so Draco could see him too. Blaise and Draco were friends as close as they could get being who they were but I'm still glad that he hadn't been completely shunned by the Slytherins.  
We were close and Blaise had spotted us too.

"What a surprise to see you here," he grinned charmingly.

"We just saw you a few weeks ago." I replied.

"That's not what he meant," Draco squeezed my waist.

"Does this mean you two are official now?" Blaise inquired.

"Are we official, Harli?" Draco asked and I gave him a blank stare.

"Well, I live in your house, I sleep in your bed, I share spit with you so if that isn't official, I don't know what is."

"Classy," he wrinkled his nose and I laughed.

"Well, it's delightful that you two are doing well. I heard a rumor though, Draco." Blaise gave Draco a worried look.

"Yes, our mothers speak quite often don't they? I'm well, if that's what you're asking." I held onto him as the image of him convulsing in my arms came back to me.

"Good," he patted Draco's shoulder and gave me a grin, "I'll see you around. Enjoy your date."

"I'm glad the two of you are friends still."

"Yes, a lot of my house mates were very adverse to the fact that I was courting you. I have alienated a lot of them."

"Was I really worth that?"

"Yes," he didn't hesitate, "You have to think Harli, it took me a long time to find the courage to confess to you and even when I did, I wasn't sure you were going to respond well to it considering our history."

The smile disappeared from my face then. He was right, if I hadn't decided to forgive him for the deception, despite my own, where would I be now? If I had agreed to travel with Hermione, there would have been more than enough opportunity for unwanted memories to surface and there would have been the slim possibility that I would have to face unwanted people. The Burrow was also a place that wouldn't have been good, not only would Ron and I be at odds but with Fred and George around, there was the high possibility that my secret would be exposed. Those were questions I didn't want to have to answer.

"Let's dance." I looked at Draco who smiled at me. "Don't think of unnecessary things right now. It's not time to address them yet."

I nodded as he pulled me into a dance where others were dancing. I felt the eyes on us but Draco forced me to look at him when I began to look around. "Don't look at them, look only at me."  
I fell into a trance as his silver irises seemed to swirl hypnotically. It was beautiful really, swaying side to side with my former enemy, wearing a gown that rivaled many, it was almost like a dream.

I faintly heard applause as the music ended and it broke me out of my thoughts. It was almost painful to tear my eyes away from Draco's and I blushed when I realized everyone was staring at us. I looked back at him and pouted when he laughed at me. He took my hand and pulled me away from the center of attention but I listened to their whispers as we passed.

"Isn't that Malfoy's boy?"

"Who's that pretty witch with him?"

"I wonder where she came from."

"She's gorgeous."

I blushed and held onto Draco's hand tighter. I wasn't used to such comments but I suppose it was okay. Draco brought me to the bar and asked for a butterbeer. I sighed as I tried to race my calming heart so I was surprised when Draco placed the butterbeer in front of me.

"Wha-?"

"You look like you need it."

I took a sip and relished in the taste. "What about you?"

He leaned forward and pressed his lips on mine and licked a bit foam from my lip. "You're intoxicating enough for me."

I blushed deeply and shoved the mug in his face, "just share with me. It's less embarrassing."

He smirked as he took a sip of the mug and I rolled my eyes. "You're insufferable."

"Excuse me," I flagged down the bartender, "can I have a small cup of water?"

Draco wrapped his arm around my waist and I drank my water silently. It tasted a little off but I shrugged it away, all water was different. Just like people, I thought as I looked around to the multitude of people in the large room.

I smiled when I spotted the shiny blonde hair tied back into a low ponytail. "Draco, I found your father."

I pulled him over to where his father was standing. I assumed Narcissa would be with Lucius but it was only Lucius speaking politics with a few men.

"Father," Draco greeted with a nod.

"Are you done entertaining yourselves? I'm having an important conversation."

"I apologize for interrupting." I bowed my head, "I saw you and decided to say hello. Come Draco, we are interrupting, Gentlemen." I nodded my head to the group of men.

I pulled Draco away and grinned when I found my big break. "Look Draco, there's Blaise, go to your friend while I go to the loo."

"I'm not leaving you." He shook his head.

"It's just the loo Draco. It's right there so I'm not giving you a choice. Also, you're not going to follow me into the ladies loo."

"Oh, is that where you're going?" He smirked and I smacked him.

"Go, I'll be back for you."

I went to the bathroom when he finally left me. I sighed in relief as I peed finally. Going in a gown was difficult but I still had my bits, that part hadn't changed and it made things easier. I recast the glamour charm and fixed my dress. It was always weird to have those parts and see it disappear into something that wasn't meant to be there. I couldn't be too relaxed with that in case someone walked in on me naked. I smiled lightly as I thought about the glamour. It had also given me slight breasts but not that much, more like a slight swelling and nothing had really changed. I looked at my appearance in the mirror and sighed. In this body, I wasn't Harry Potter, I was Harli Porter, fifteen year old female, orphan, who was a traumatized, unstable witch with post traumatic stress disorder. It was like a chant I had to repeat to myself over and over for such a long time so that I could get it right.

I finished washing my hands and left the bathroom to find Draco. I didn't get very far though because a spell hit me in the back and I flew into the wall to unconsciousness.

* * *

My body was hot, burning, when I woke up. It was like a searing brand was being pressed into me everywhere but there was a cold breeze surrounding me like a blanket. I groaned as my stomach lurched because my body was confused about the temperature.

My arms had been chained over my head and my heart pounded. I blinked away my blurred vision and tried to take in my surroundings. It was a dark, damp room and my arms had been secured to a thick wooden plank with metal cuffs. I was completely naked and the panic rose even more in my throat. I had been drugged. The uncomfortable warmth that encased my body and the sensitivity the ravished my private areas wasn't something I ever wanted to experience again.

I swallowed and tried to calm the panic that threatened to take over my reason. My dress was in a pile in the far corner of the room, the green sparkled in the dim light. "Calm down, you can do this." I wasn't proficient in wandless magic but I hoped I could at least retrieve my wand from the folds of the dress. "Accio wand," I tried but nothing happened. "Accio wand." I repeated the gesture over and over but the there was no movement. I closed my eyes as my breath quickened. Whoever took me would be coming back soon I knew, and when they did... I shivered to think about it. I thought about Draco who was probably looking for me because I hadn't returned from the bathroom. I couldn't let anything happen. I opened my eyes and I ignored the burn licking over my skin and concentrated on the dress. "Accio wand." Nothing. "Accio wand!" I shivered in excitement as the dress shifted only a bit. "Accio wand." The dress moved a bit more but my excitement washed away as the door opened. Two men entered the room and I froze up in fear. This was a scene I had seen before.

"Look, our little princess is awake."

"Had a good nap Sleeping Beauty?"

"Who are you?" I questioned fiercely even though my voice trembled. "What did you do to me?"

"How fiesty," one of the men exclaimed, "I wonder if the drug has taken effect yet."

I tensed up in terror as a memory flashed back before my eyes.

"How is it?" The man had curled up over my body, his disgusting length pressed against the crack of my ass. "The drugs are good aren't they? Do you like them?"

"Let's test it." They approached me with hands outstretched.

I pulled myself back to reality and screamed. "No no! Don't touch me!"

"Look at her, she's struggling. I can't wait to fuck her."

I pulled against my restraints and the metal cut into my skin. I flinched as the man's fingers brushed my skin and I reacted quickly and bit him. I caught his wrist and clenched my teeth tightly ignoring the coppery taste of blood and the disgusting salt of sweat in my mouth. The man screamed and tried to push me away with his other hand but I wouldn't let go, I couldnt, not with so much at stake.

The other man came around and tried to help his friend but I brought my foot up and landed a heel in his groin.  
"This little bitch!" The man fell and I struck my foot out again in his face and heard a sickening crunch. He fell over clutching his face and I would have cheered if I had that kind of time. I felt the blood run down my arms from the cuffs and I glared at the man who's bloody hand I still had in my mouth.

"Crucio."

I screamed as my body spasmed in excruciating pain. Someone had walked in the room, but I couldn't make out who it was. I took in a huge breath when the pain stopped and my body tingled but I had no chance to recover when he hit me with another Crucio just after. Five times he did it, and it felt like an eternity. I gagged as it felt like my stomach was trying to force its way out of my throat. A hand circled around my throat and the burning heat that I had forgotten about flared up again.

"We can't have you throwing up now. We haven't had our fun yet and that would be disgusting."

The voice was so familiar and I gasped at the ocean blue eyes of the man I met at the sweets shop. "You! You're-" I choked as his hand tightened around my throat and the burning increased.

"Yes, remember me? It's a pity you don't remember my name. Tyler, remember."

"Why?" I gasped out.

"Why?" He smacked me across the face. "You ruined me. I lost my job and any other career options I could have had because you went blabbing to someone important. My life was over. Fortunately, I was approached by someone who doesn't like you and they hired me to do this." His hand traveled over my glamour and I shivered in disgust. Flames touched where he did and my breath hitched. "Are you feeling it now? The potion should be taking real effect now. You'll be moaning under me like a bitch in heat soon, begging me to fuck you and make the pain stop. I'll make you feel good." He hand went too low and I wished desperately that I had my wand.

"Accio wand," I whispered as this man violated me. My worst nightmares I wanted to escape were reappearing as reality again.

"Stupify!"

My head shot up as Tyler fell forward onto me and I screamed as many people began to flow into the room. No, I couldn't let them surround me again, I didn't want to kill anyone anymore. I begged them to stay away from me almost silently.

"Harli!" I felt almost instant relief at hearing Draco's voice. Tyler was restrained and my arms were released from the cuffs. They looked pretty bad, circular cuts and the deeper ones might need stitches. My face probably looked worse. I could see the blood from when I had bit the one man had traveled all the way down my chest and had dried in streaks and smears. My cheek still throbbed from where I had been hit but looking at Draco who was in front of me with the most worried look on his face, I knew that things would be better.

"You came." I smiled weakly.

"Yeah." There was rage hidden behind those silver irises and I flinched away when he reached out for me. "But I didn't come soon enough."

"Draco." I looked past Draco and saw Lucius with a cloak in his hands, "we can talk later, we should leave to St. Mungo's now."

Draco took the cloak from his father and wrapped his around my shoulders. I blushed when I realized I was naked in front of all those people including Draco's father, but now wasn't the time to worry about that. Draco lifted me into his arms after my nudity was covered.

"Ah, my wand!" I was surprised as the wand flew out of the folds of my dress and into my hand. I glared at it in annoyance as Draco carried me and wondered why it couldn't have come to me sooner when I actually needed it.

"It's not a poison per se, but until the potion wears off there will be discomfort especially with skin to skin contact." Professor Snape explained to Lucius.

"Is there an antidote?"

"I could make one but the potion will wear off before it's finished."

"Thank you Severus."

"This potion," he began but I shook my head.

"I know."

"I didn't asked for your input." He sneered and I smiled. Even when I was in a hospital bed, he was evil as ever. "Do well to listen.

"I've analyzed the basics of the potion. The water you had contained an illegal aphrodisiac and there was another potion mixed in that I have yet to discover what it is. For now, I would suggest you not mix anything along with it in case it kills you

"As for the aphrodisiac, it hasn't completely affected you yet but it will get worse before it gets better," he seemed uncomfortable having this conversation with me, "do your best to not do anything reckless."

"I understand, Professor. I'll take care."

"See that you do."

"Hey," I looked up and Draco was standing in the doorway. Snape stood up and nodded to Draco as he passed.

"Hey," I smiled.

"How are you feeling?" He questioned as he came over.

"I'm alright. It really wasn't that bad."

He sat in a chair next to my bed, "you're just a magnet for bad luck. It was scary to see you chained up and covered in blood like that. I'm just glad it wasn't yours."

The aurors had already taken the memory of that time for review during the trial. Lucky for me, Lucius would handle the legal stuff and I wouldn't have to attend.

"That man's hand was so torn up but I don't feel bad."

"I was so happy to see you at that time. How did you find me?"

"I saw the way that bartender had been looking at you so I got worried. I wasn't expecting him to actually drug your water. I set a tracing charm on your ring before you left to the bathroom. If you'd known, you would have been mad so I planned on taking it off when you returned. I'm glad I listened to my gut."

The bartender had been the other man in that dark room. I wish I had known too. "I'm glad you did."

"They're all going to Azkaban, so you don't have to worry anymore."

"I won't, I have you here with me." He smirked at me and I grinned back.

"We're only two weeks into the summer. There sure has been a lot that has happened to us."

We fell into a silence and I reached for his hand and held it despite the discomfort it brought to me, "I wonder if I'm allowed to love you yet."

"You can love me whenever you please," he replied.

"Can I?" I asked as looked up at the ceiling, "you have to think, we used to be enemies, we hated each other, then I'm not the same as you once knew me mentally, and we've done horrible things to each other but somehow, these feelings I have are confusing and yet so clear. Has enough time passed that I'm allowed to love you as Harli Porter and ignore what Harry Potter felt about you?"

My eyes slipped closed and I didn't hear what Draco responded to me with. I felt at peace and I knew that was strange in itself. I expected some nightmares but in this state of tranquility I felt awake and yet I still felt the slow burn crawl up my body. It was more intense than I thought and I shivered at the pleasure that ripped through my body.

"Harli, hey," I panted as the pleasure grew and I thought that I should wake up soon. Draco was still in the room I couldn't be having a wet dream with him right there. "Harli, can you hear me?"

I let out a breathy moan and I realized something wasn't right.

"Harli!"

I opened my eyes and blinked as I looked at Draco who was laying under me with his arms above his head, tied tightly together with conjured rope. His shirt was open and I became more panicked as I noticed my own nude state.

"Harli, listen, you're under the imperius curse, you need to try to fight it."

"Draco?" My body wasn't listening me but I was able to get it to stop moving. Draco was buried inside me and I nearly cried.

I tried to shake away the fog in my head, "I can't move."

"I know, it's not your fault." His voice was soft and I cried. "Harli, listen to me, can you get my wand?"

I glanced at his wand on the bed table and I tried to move my hand, my arm, anything but I felt like I was in a body bind. "I can't move Draco, I can't."

I held back a moan as he moved, "your magic is intense Harli, you are so strong. I couldn't even fight you off."

"It's not me Draco, I'm sorry. It's not me."

My body started to move again, against my will and I couldn't hold back the cry that left my throat.

"I swear I would enjoy this in any other situation," I heard him mutter and I closed my eyes as every nerve ending in my body became a pleasure center.

"Harli," I cracked open an eye to look at him and I took in the flush of his face and the erotic position as he was bound to the bed, "I need you to try and grab my wand."

I glanced at the wand sitting on the bedside table and I leaned over him as we shagged. I tried to fight the effects but my awareness was going dark as I closed in on finishing.

"Stay with me," I heard Draco's voice cut through my pleasurable haze and it broke my concentration enough and I gripped his wand. I was able to disarm the charm on his restraints and he pulled his hands free.

I didn't expect him to flip us over and continue thrusting into me. I moaned desperately and he continued to apologize to me. Over and over, he apologized, and I clenched my hands he pinned to the bed. Our lips met and I cried out into his mouth as I came. He pulled out of me as I trembled from the aftermath and I felt a mix between bubbly and frightened.

"We're going to find out what's wrong," Draco said as he snatched up his wand, "so sleep for now."

He pointed his wand at me, "stupefy!"

* * *

I woke with a terrible pain in my head. I groaned and tried to alleviate the pain but my hands were stuck to my sides. I was alert immediately despite the pain in my head and tried to sit up but a hand was on my shoulder pushing me back down.

"What's going on?!" I was scared I had been taken again but the pain in my head was debilitating.

"It's okay, calm down." The voice was Draco's father. The light burned straight through to my head when I tried to open my eyes so I was grateful when he dimmed the light for me. "We didn't want to restrain you but until Severus could make the antidote to the potion you've taken, we can't take any risks."

I vaguely remembered what happened and I swallowed hard, "Did I hurt him?"

Lucius hummed. "No."

I sighed. "I'm so sorry to have caused such trouble for you. Even when you so graciously allowed me into your home."

"We found out the other potion that contaminated the water. Would you like to know what it did to you?"

It was strange for him to change the subject so quickly but I nodded anyway.

"It seems that for people whom are difficult to control with the imperius, there is a potion that enables one to easily access that difficult person's consciousness with the curse. This is what happened to you. It is used best when the victim is unconscious. Even if one were to break free from the control of it, the potion makes thing easier to regain and retain control for the caster."

"Why me?" I wondered out loud.

"From what I've gathered, the target was you and Draco only. The reason for your kidnapping was hidden behind the man coming for revenge against you. He's under a blood oath, we haven't found who put him up to this.

"Whoever cursed you has horrible intentions and has planned something very devious. I suggest you take care in your actions." Lucius stood.

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy, there's something I want to ask you."

"What would that be?"

"You said when I first arrived that you could teach me the things I would need. Could you teach me wandless magic? A lot of what happened in that room could have been avoided if I could have just summoned my wand from my dress."

"We'll see." He left the room then and I was left alone. I hadn't made any enemies and unless there were people that knew I used to be Harry Potter, there was no reason for me as Harli Porter to be attacked.

Professor Snape was able to make the antidote and after I was in the clear I was allowed to leave from St. Mungo's.

Draco had acted normally after the incident but I knew we would have to talk about what happened.

I sat alone in my room and even though Draco was only across the hall, I couldn't get the courage to go over there. There was a knock on my door and Narcissa walked into the room.

"Good evening Harli." Her face was serious and I stared at my hands in my lap. I had been waiting for this. I had packed all my things into my trunk and was prepared for them to ask me to leave, I just wished it would have been Lucius, at least he'd be upfront with me.

"Good evening, Mrs. Malfoy."

She sat on the edge of my bed and I tensed when her hand patted my hair. "I told you that you can call me Narcissa dear. Did you forget already?" I looked at her in surprise and she frowned at me. "Why are you crying? What's the matter?"

The tears slipped from my eyes. "I was so sure you were coming to tell me to leave. I have caused so much trouble and I did something horrible to Draco. I won't complain and I have my things packed already so I can leave immediately."

She hugged me tightly and I was surprised. "We aren't making you leave dear! We love having you here! I haven't seen my Draco so happy before and none of what happened is your fault. I was coming to apologize to you."

"Me?"

"Yes dear. I felt so terrible that something like that had happened to you while you were under our protection. We should have taken better care of you."

"I never thought of it like that. I didn't blame you for anything."

She smiled at me and she was tearing up too. "You have brought life to my beautiful family. I'm grateful."

"Thank you."

"No, thank you. Now no more ridiculous thoughts, unpack your trunk, you silly girl."

She left me after me and I felt like I was part of a true family then.

There was another knock at my door but this time it was Draco who entered.

His eyes were downcast and he looked tired. My heart jumped as came closer but I was more afraid of what he was going to say to me. "Do you fear me now, Harli?"

"I don't-"

"You do," he interrupted, "the panic is evident on your face and you don't even realize it."

"You're not even looking at me."

"I don't have to." He sighed and turned away. "I knew this wasn't going to work."

I jumped off the bed and hugged him tightly. I felt like he was hiding something desperately important from me. "Are you rejecting me Draco?"

"I would never," he responded.

"Then why are you throwing me around like this?"

"It's your own fault. You can't even trust me enough to relax in my presence. You've gone and inserted some ridiculous thought in your head and even now you're trembling and I haven't even touched you."

"I don't want to be abandoned." I muttered into his shirt.

"What was that?"

"I don't want to be abandoned! Least off all by you!" I stepped away from him and turned my back. "I've alienated myself from my friends for you and Merlin knows if things will be the same in Gryffindor when I return. There are so many times when I could have just let you drown in your misery but I liked you so I didn't. If you abandon me then I have no where to turn and I might as well be dead. If you're going to do something like that, I'd rather you end it for me here and now. I have no more options."

I sniffed and I felt the heat from his body on my back. His hands touched my shoulders as if in warning and traveled down my arms, and I shivered as he hugged me, his arms tight around my waist. "I won't let you go, and your friends weren't true friends if they can abandon you just because of who you associate yourself with. I am not so shallow."

I snorted and he chuckled.

It's been three weeks since the ball. Venice was a wonderful experience and it was extremely arousing to hear Draco speak Italian when I couldn't. He laughed and agreed when I asked if he would teach me and mentioned that he would probably be able to teach me French better since he was fluent in that. He tried to show me how to count to twenty in French but I was so in love by the sound and the movement of his mouth I couldn't concentrate. Ever since then he's counted for me before bed and I'd never hear him make it to twenty.

We were at St. Mungo's again because I couldn't keep any food down and if things continued this way, all the work I put into gaining another stone and a half would be ruined. That and I would be back into the danger zone for severe malnourishment and we couldn't have that. Although I spent a lot of time at the beginning of June ignoring it, I knew I have to get back on the programme and Draco was such a huge help with it.

There were reporters trying to scope me out so we had to had to wait in a private waiting room so they couldn't get their hands on Draco Malfoy's fiancée. I laughed a little as I thought about it and Draco poked my cheek.

"I was just thinking about the rumor of us being engaged. It's all your fault you know." I found out the rumor spawned from a secret picture of his ring on his left hand. They automatically assumed he was engaged to the black haired stick he had accompanied himself with.

"Well, you put it there." He yawned.  
I blushed at that and pouted until they called my name.

It was only me and Draco at there because his father had business at the ministry and his mother had a gathering she just couldn't miss. Professor Snape could have come but he refused to babysit as he put it and it would have been uncomfortable for me.

The nurse gave us a skeptical look when she noticed it was only us but Draco passed her a note and her face went blank and she ushered us back quickly.

She took my vitals and gave a small frown when she took my weight.

"What brings you today?"

"I haven't been able to keep down any food. I'm already on an advanced food progamme and I can't continue to vomit everything I eat, I'd rather not stay here again."

"Do you have the progamme?"

Draco nodded and enlarged a folder he held for me in his pocket. She opened it and looked through it, her eyes scanning the vast amount of information there.

She closed the folder, "how long has your sickness been going on?"

"About a week."

She nodded. "I'm going run a diagnostic spell, if you will hold still."  
I felt the spell rush over my skin and I hoped it wouldn't interfere with any of the glamours I had. "Okay. Just wait here and I will have a mediwitch in here soon."

We sat in silence for two minutes until Draco broke it. "So what do you think it is?"

"Don't ask me that Draco, it could be anything. I'm thinking it's just a stomach bug and that it'll go away with a few potions."

It was around ten minutes later when the mediwitch walked in. She was pretty with sand colored hair and hazel eyes. She was slim but her stomach was slightly round. "Nice to meet you, I'm Aria Cordelia."

My eyes brightened and I smiled. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." She smiled, "so Ms. Porter, it seems we're having trouble keeping food down?"

"Yes, I have a weight I need to be at. I can't be too much under that."

"Yes, I looked at your previous record for your visits here, you weren't doing that well a few weeks ago."

I shook my head and glanced at Draco. "No, there were some things going on then."

"I see. Well, I have checked over your scans and although you are so young I suppose a congratulations is in order for you as well."

"Wait what?" My anxiety spiked and I hoped she wasn't going to say what I thought she was saying.

"You're pregnant. Around three weeks I would say."

I gasped and my ears started ringing even though she was still talking.

"It's going to be imperative that you eat double the portions you are now and I have a list of potions-"

Her voice slowly faded from my mind and I felt sick. I leaned forward and gagged, twice before stomach acid and the little bit of breakfast I had came up. Draco was holding my hair and rubbing my back as I shoved my face in the bucket he conjured for me.

I sat there, with my face still in the bucket, for almost ten minutes, trying to figure out how this could be possible. It had to have been back in the hospital when I had attacked Draco when I was cursed but my genetic make up isn't meant for that.

The mediwitch stayed with us until I was able to move without getting sick.

"Would you like me to send this off to be made?" She asked about the list of potions I would need.

"No, it's alright. We'll get them made."  
She bid us farewell and I held onto Draco tightly as we went back to the floo. I landed hard on my knees and Draco tried to help me up but I wouldn't let him. "Please, let me stay here."

"Don't be ridiculous, you can't stay in the fireplace grate."

I choked on a sob and he knelt down beside me.

"It's not your fault and I'm not upset with you."

"But, this can't happen! There must be something wrong with me."

He chuckled, "there's nothing wrong with you. Are you scared because of the biology? We're magical beings, anything is possible."

"Really?" I asked.

"Of course. We'll get through this. Everything will be fine."

I sniffled and allowed him to help me up from the grate.

I stayed in bed for the rest of the afternoon until we were called for dinner. I knew my eyes were puffy and Draco held my hand as I pushed my food around my plate. Narcissa was looking at me worriedly and it took every fibre of my being to not break down again.

We moved to the parlour and Lucius sighed, "let's hear it. What dastardly event has come upon you today?"

I opened my mouth only for it to stay silent as the words caught in my throat. The tears welled up and I felt the sickness coming on again. I excused myself and ran to the nearest bathroom and emptied my stomach for the umpteenth time.

I washed out my mouth and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked relatively normal despite the puffy eyes because of the glamours. I wanted to take them off but I would wait. There was no reason to worry them more.

"Are you alright in here?" I jumped as Draco stood in the doorway.

"Yes, I was just a bit queasy."

He came closer and pressed a hand to my face, "we need to do something. It's going to be dangerous if you keep vomiting."

"We'll figure it out," I smiled as I pressed my hand to his, "did you tell them?"

"I did. Mother is ecstatic, of course. Father, well, he's hoping for a boy."

I laughed, "well, he's got a fifty/fifty chance."

I was surprised when he pulled me close and held me tightly. I wrapped my arms around his back and held him tightly.

"Become part of my family, Harli," he whispered.

"What?" I inhaled.

"It's not a proposal per se, but I am asking you seriously. Stay here with me and become a Malfoy?"


	8. Down the Rabbit Hole

 

> Temporarily Untitled

.

.

.  
Down the Rabbit Hole

* * *

 "Harli, you need to calm down."

"I'm...trying!" It was already September 1st and my nerves were killing me. I turned back to the porcelain god and dry heaved again.

"Draco! We are going to be late!"

"One minute mother!" He rubbed my back again, "if you don't want to go, stay here with my parents, you don't have to go back now. Floo there with them later."

"No no," I sat up and pushed down the nausea, "I want to go."

I rinsed out my mouth in the sink and tried to ignore my reflection in the mirror. I held Draco's hand as we walked to the parlor where Narcissa and Lucius were waiting. No words were spoken as we stepped through the floo to King's Cross Station.

Parents and students bustled around trying to get on the train. I held my stomach as I was knocked around but the multitude of people.

"Here darling, your trunks." Narcissa kissed Draco's forehead and my cheeks as she passed over our things. Lucius patted Draco's shoulder and he seemed uncomfortable as I gave him a tight hug. There were so many things I wanted to say to the man but it would have to wait.

Draco pulled me to the train as I tried to give my last few waves to his parents. We managed to get on the train and it was annoying as every compartment seemed to be full. Draco was so adamant on finding an empty compartment he missed Blaise sitting in a compartment alone.

"Draco, I found Blaise." I pulled him back into the compartment and Blaise looked at us in surprise.

"Well, well, what a surprise." Blaise muttered as he closed the book he was reading.

"Do you mind?" I asked, "we can leave."

"Don't be ridiculous," Blaise snorted.

I sat down on the seat and tried to relax as Draco and Blaise fell into conversation. I leaned against Draco and sighed but every part of me was uncomfortable. He seemed to get annoyed with my constant shifting and laid me on his lap without breaking his conversation. I relaxed a bit more before I fell into a restless sleep.

Draco shook me awake after what seemed like a few minutes and I swatted his hand away. "Leave me 'lone, 'm try'na sleep."

"You were having a nightmare." He said.

"No...wasn't sleep that long." I turned over in his lap.

"It's been a five hours already."

"Hmm." I tried to get comfortable but the urge to pee took over.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. The room was blurry but I tried to get up anyway and nearly fell over.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"Mmm, loo."

"Come on then, I'll take you."

I punched him weakly; my body felt like jello. "Don't need you to take me to the loo, 'm not a kid."

"Harli."

I sighed. "Fine." I let him tag along because he was still nervous about what happened at the ball. He didn't understand that we were on a train and nothing could possibly happen but it was only to appease him. He stood outside the door while I did my business and I felt annoyed but grateful for his overprotectiveness.

I didn't feel so fuzzy-headed anymore and smiled at him when I left the toilet. I held his hand and rubbed my thumb over his ring. We weren't engaged yet but the intent was there. He still wanted to ask me properly so that I wouldn't say no. That and the adoption had gone through just last week so my surname had been legally changed to Malfoy by the Ministry. The news hadn't gotten out yet but I could expect it to be leaked by someone soon.

We entered our compartment and Blaise looked annoyed. "The Weasel just came by here, I suspect you'll see him again before we make it to Hogwarts."

Draco tensed beside me but I pushed him to sit. "Well," I shrugged and sat on his lap, "it's virtually unavoidable so if he comes back, we'll have to deal with it."

Of course my terrible luck opened the door then but it wasn't fiery red hair that poked through, it was Hermione who gave me the brightest smile I had ever seen.

I jumped off of Draco and launched myself into her arms. I couldn't stop the tears that had started to form as I hugged her tightly. "Hermione, I'm so glad to see you!"

"Me too! I wasn't able to get in contact with you all summer! How have you been?"

I took a proper look at her face and grinned, she glowed happily and her hair had been pinned back with clips and she just looked absolutely stunning. "I've been wonderful, more than I've ever been."

I looked back at Draco who had annoyance written across his face but he looked out of the window instead of at us. I turned back to Hermione who was also looking and I pulled her out of the compartment. We stood in the hallway and I sighed.

"Hey, I'm in a compartment with Luna and Ginny, would you like to come?"

"I would love to, but-"

The door slid open and Draco stood there with a sneer, "you're not going."

"Draco," I didn't want to turn this into a fight, not now, "it's not like I'll be going far."

"No."

My anger rose, "you can't tell me no, I'll be in a compartment with no where to go. I'll be fine."

"You're not going, come back in."

"Hermione, where is your compartment?"

"It's in this car on the opposite side, a few down from this one." She replied shakily.

"There, now you know. Lead the way Hermione."

"Harli!" He grabbed my arm but I pulled away from him.

"You can try to stop me if you wish, but you won't keep me away from my friends Draco Malfoy. I won't let you."

I pushed Hermione to walk and I ignored his burning glare on my back. I entered her compartment and collapsed on the seat. "He is insufferable!"

Hermione closed the door and sat down next to Ginny, "is it really okay to leave things like that?"

"He'll be fine." I moved to lay on Luna and she stroked my hair and the tears started before I could stop them. "I just don't know why he has to do that to me. He thinks everyone is a bad person and that he has to keep me under his thumb because I'll be safe there. It's suffocating."

"Why do you deal with that?" Ginny asked, "Just leave him."

"I can't, it's not that easy."

"Why?" Hermione questioned, "is he blackmailing you? We can go to a teacher for that kind of thing."

"He's not blackmailing me, I promise. It's complicated."

Hermione knelt on the floor in front of me and wiped my tears. "You can tell me Harli, I won't tell."

The events of the summer fell from my mouth including the ball and the hospital visits. "And now I'm eleven weeks with his kid and he thinks he owns me." I covered my mouth in shock and they did too. "That wasn't supposed to come out of my mouth."

"Harli..." Hermione whispered.

I sat up in embarrassment and stood. "Draco was right. It was wrong of me to come here."

"No Harli, wait!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me to sit back down. "You have to understand, it's only shocking that something like that happened to you and now you have to deal with all of the consequences. Are his parents okay with it all?"

"They're supporting and they know nothing could have been done about it. They even gave me the option for home schooling if I didn't want to go back because of the stress."

"Wow," she exclaimed, "why would they do so much for you?"

"They adopted me. I have a real family now. Being pregnant with the Malfoy heir, I'll be marrying Draco when we are of legal age."

"That sounds stressful." Ginny sighed. "It also sounds like such a dream."

We all laughed then, "trust me, it's far from it."

"So the Malfoy family has adopted you," Hermione started, "does that make your last name Malfoy?"

"Of course, you should try saying it."

"Hmm, Harli Malfoy," she made a face, "it sounds strange."

I shrugged, "not particularly, but you'll get used to it. Also," I turned serious, "anything you heard in this stays here, I can't have anything going around slandering the name they've entrusted to me."

"Of course not! Not a peep." Hermione exclaimed. I trusted her and Luna but it would be Ginny I would have to keep an eye on, especially considering who her brother is.

For two hours we talked and laughed about nothing and it felt wonderful to just relax in the arms of these people I could call friends.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Luna sighed dreamily. She had been stroking my stomach the entire time and whispering things about darling snorkacks.

"It has," Hermione looked out the window, "almost two hours, shouldn't you go back Harli? He's probably worried about you."

"I won't. It's useless to go back and sit in that compartment with his angry silence for another four hours. I'd rather stay here."

Hermione seemed to be worried and even when they had begun changing into their robes when we were five minutes out. I opened my eyes as the train stopped and stretched. I felt slightly sick but it was bearable. I needed the potion to keep down my nausea but every time I thought about Draco, I was angry. Luna, Hermione and Ginny waited with me in the compartment because I didn't want to get knocked around by the crowd of students. Once there was only a trickle of students left, we exited the train and managed the catch the last Thestral carriage with a couple of second year students. I rubbed my stomach as we came upon the great castle and grinned. I was happy to be back.

The brightly lit halls were the same as ever and it felt almost like a breath of fresh air. I didn't see Draco anywhere but I was surprised when Professor Snape approached me with a vial in hand.

"You and that boy are idiots. Don't include me in your feuds again." I smiled at him and accepted the vial.

"I appreciate your efforts Professor." As Draco's godfather, Sev had been assigned as my godfather as well because I was now Lucius' 'daughter'. It was unorthodox but there was no one Draco's father trusted more.

He ignored me and walked away and Hermione was at my side immediately. "What was that! You spoke to Professor Snape like that so casually, it was frightening for me!"

"Oh don't worry about it," I downed the potion, "he has a mean face but he really isn't cruel. He's kind and-"

"Move along to the Great Hall now!" Sev was just behind us and he gave me a harsh glare. I giggled as we scurried away.

"He has an image to uphold," I whispered to Hermione as we entered the Great Hall.

I didn't even look in the direction of the Slytherin table. I grabbed Hermione's hand and we sat down together and I made sure my back was to it. We fell into chatter easily enough and I shivered as I felt the glare but it wasn't coming from the right direction. I looked up and met Ron's burning eyes. I looked away and tried to make a non-perverted conversation with Seamus but of course it was impossible.

"Seamus Finnegan! Don't say things like that!" Hermione scolded and I laughed.

Dumbledore stood then and called out for silence. Once again, first years and this and that and it brought me back to the same day a year ago. The one day when Harli Porter came into existence. I shivered as I thought about my life before then, the rape, the touches, the words, the reason why I hate that name I once had. I covered my mouth as the bile rose in my throat.

"Harli," Hermione whispered, her hand on my back, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm - I'm fine, just a little sick."

"Did the potion work?"

I nodded. The potion worked but the nightmares hadn't gone away. How many times had I woke up screaming even in Draco's arms at night. How many times had he held back my hair while I emptied my guts, how many times had he held me while I cried myself to sleep. "I'm being stupid, I'm being so cruel to him even though he's done so much for me."

She put her arm around me and held me through the sorting ceremony and I made her let go to eat because she was content to eat with one hand.  
I was exhausted by the end of the opening feast and I leaned on Hermione for support. The students in the Great Hall filtered out slowly and I followed the Gryffindors out. A part of me wished that Draco would come to me and do something, yell, something. It never came.

The Gryffindor tower hadn't changed. I crawled up the stairs to the dorm rooms and crawled into bed without changing my clothes and ignoring my trunk that I was surprised was there. "Harli, do you want to get changed first?" Hermione questioned.  
"Later," I mumbled. My bed was cold and I barely had the energy to close my curtains and apply a silencing charm before I was out cold.

I tossed and turned the entire night, my bed uncomfortable compared to the one at the Manor. It was irritating and I couldn't even decide if it would have been better to wake up from a nightmare than be so uncomfortable. I regretted not looking through my trunk the night before because there had been emerald satin sheets and a silk duvet packed away in there and I thanked Merlin for a house elf like Tippy and Narcissa's wonderful taste. I put on my school robes and went down to the common room where Hermione was waiting.

"You look terrible Harli, did you sleep okay?"

I laughed as we walked down to the Great Hall, "I have been spoiled by the beds at the manor."

"Is it nice there?" She hesitated in her question.

"It's wonderful. If I could ever show one day.." I show my head, "no, I will show you one day, no matter what."

The Great Hall was bustling even for the morning after and I took a quick glance at the Slytherin table where Draco was in a conversation with his house mates. I continued onto my own table and began to put things on my plate to eat. I went over my schedule in my head as I ate little bits of everything. Transfiguration, Double Potions, Charms, a break, Arithmancy, Care for Magical Creatures and DADA. I frowned as I thought about Draco's schedule; Arithmancy, Double Potions, Charms, Double Transfiguration, a break, and DADA. I groaned as I thought about my long day and how I didn't want to face Draco yet.

"Come on Harli, breakfast is almost over, we have to get to class." I stuffed a bit more egg in my mouth and stood with my school bag. We left quickly and I went the opposite way from Hermione because she was going to Arithmancy. I prayed Draco wouldn't be too cruel to her.

I entered Transfiguration with little time to spare and found a seat in a corner by myself. Ron was in this class so I tried to stay unnoticed for the time being. Professor McGonagall, came in and began her speech about the new year and how we had to prepare well for our OWLs. She handed out glass goblets to everyone and claimed it was a pop quiz.

"Transfigure your goblet into a bowl."

It was simple and I sighed as I thought about the ring on my finger. It was transfigured so beautifully I almost wished Draco had this class with me. I dared to look at it and I was surprised to see his initials there. He was looking at my feelings and I thought it was only fair that I look at his. I tried to memorize the color scale he had shown me with all the different emotions in color. He wasn't happy, but he wasn't angry either, he was sad and annoyed and I wondered if it was my fault. His heartbeat thumped steady like a drum and I watched it until McGonagall came and slapped her hand on my desk.

"You'll do well to pay attention, Ms. Porter, I'm sure you would not like to fail my class." I gulped and nodded, quickly changing my glass into a bowl. I hadn't failed to retain my nearly perfect grades from the previous year but I couldn't slack off, not when I had so much to lose. There was also the fact that she had addressed me as Porter and not Malfoy, especially with so many witnesses. She had given me a slight smile which I hope meant she did it on purpose but still, so many things could go wrong.

Class went from no where to nothing from there and I dreaded to have to go to potions. I sucked it up and headed down to the dungeons where the line of students waited for the first potions class to let out. I laughed a little. Sev was cruel to leave only a few minutes for his students to get to class. The first year class nearly tripped over themselves trying to escape from his class and I really did laugh out loud.

"What's so funny Porter? Trying to make yourself feel better?" I rolled my eyes as I faced Ron.

"Why are you bothering me? Leave me be."

"Is that all you have to say? What happened, the slimy Slytherins wouldn't take you either? Serves you right."

"Ron, you sound like a fool, go to class."

"Oh, so you're my mother now?"

I rolled my eyes and turned to go to potions but he grabbed my robes. I spun around and pointed my wand at him, "touch me again Weasley and I won't hesitate to splatter you against these walls."

"You wouldn't dare." He exclaimed but I pushed my wand to his throat, "you'll go to Azkaban!"

"Do I look like I care?" I sneered but a hand was on my wand then and Professor Snape stood in between us.

"There is a class to be attended. Get there. Fifty points from Gryffindor and detention for a week for both of you."

I stepped into the classroom, satisfied with the outcome of the events in the hallway. I sat at the desk in the middle of the room. Unfortunately, the only other seat was next to me and obviously Ron couldn't sit there. Good thing, Sev understood but worst thing, he made Draco move to the seat next to me. My heart jumped as he sat down without a word and I shivered as his familiar heat radiated to me. I pulled out my notebook as Professor Snape began to lecture and started to write down notes. We would be making a potion after notes and we had to take good ones on the ingredients, the process, the changes in colors, and the time limit of the potion. The ingredients of this potion sounded familiar but I couldn't place what it was. This potion would be difficult if you weren't paying attention because there were no repeats and there was nothing written on the board.

"You will work on this with a partner and if you don't make it correctly, you will fail."

I sighed as he named off names together as pairs. "Malfoy and Longbottom; Malfoy and Zabini." He concluded.

Whispers erupted almost immediately and I groaned internally.

"Move along, the longer you take take to get with your partners, the less time you have to finish your assignment. If it's not done by the end of class, you will fail."

I grumbled as I sat next to Blaise. I tried to ignore the eyes on me and Blaise seemed to understand and retrieved the ingredients for the potion. "It's not a poison," I muttered absently as Blaise returned with the ingredients. "It's not simple, it takes too long to prepare," I frowned, the potion wouldn't be done until nearly the end of class. "What is this?"

"It's a nutrition potion or something of the sort isn't it?" Blaise said as he turned on the burner, "the ingredients are those from a type of nutrition potion out of the book. I don't remember if it's a replenishing potion for vitamins or if it's for something else but it uses billywig sting and dittany so it can't be that bad.

Silence with my not fiancé's house mate was more disturbing than trying to have an angry conversation with said not fiancé.

"I wish you two would make up already," Blaise sighed finally, "it's been less than a day and his awful temper and cruel comments have gotten to everyone, even me."

"He's a right prat. I have already forgiven him somewhat but I'm just angry."

"You know he was just worried about you."

"Being worried and being a dictator aren't the same." I cursed when I missed the dittany and sliced my finger.

Sev came over and took the knife from my hand. "Careless. Go into that room over there and clean your hand."

"Yes sir." I held the wound as it dripped blood and walked into the next room which was Sev's office. The bathroom was right there and I walked in and put my hand under the running tap. It wasn't a deep cut, but it stung. There was an antiseptic potion and a cloth bandage there waiting. I poured the antiseptic potion over the cut and wrapped the bandage over it. It adhered to itself which lessened my work.

I sighed and returned to the classroom silently. Blaise had finished chopping and crushing everything in the mortar.

It was a pre - natal potion, I found out at the end of class but it hadn't been for me; thankfully, I might add, because I wasn't sure I would drink something like that made by my peers.

I packed away my things last and waited for everyone to leave. I hoped that it would blow over but I was most positive that by lunch time, it would be out of control. I walked out of the classroom and was surprised to see Draco waiting for me outside the classroom. I wished so desperately that I could stay angry at him but his melancholy expression washed away all the negative emotions I had. I approached him and laced my fingers with his, softly and without the words I wanted to speak were expressed just as well with silence.

"We'll be late for Charms," he whispered.

I nodded and walked with him to Professor Flitwick's classroom with only a minute to spare. The whispers had increased beyond then and I leaned on Draco. He stroked my belly, just as he had done every night since he found out. I missed him more than I thought and I wanted nothing more than to kiss away the despair and regret, to open up the floodgates and let out the horrible tension I felt at everything, the cruelty I had given and received.

Professor Flitwick seemed to be rather empathetic of my emotions as he decided to teach us a new charm and give us the class period to practice before doing it for a grade.

"Can you see it?" I asked as he flicked his wand. His arm was still around me and he worked with one hand.

"Yes." He responded and I watched as his parchment became a snake looking shape although it retained it's color.  
I turned back to my own parchment which had turned almost the same color as the desk it laid on.

I flicked my wand again and was satisfied when the parchment disappeared from sight. It was camouflaged almost completely with the desk. "Can you see it?"

He glanced over and shook his head. I looked at his snake thing and almost smiled as it had changed into an almost realistic snake, green in color and everything. I relaxed even more in his hold and sighed. I forgot that Draco was so quiet at school unless he was insulting someone and it was too strange for me.

"Are you hungry?" He asked after a while.

I hummed in response and Professor Flitwick began to speak. "Show me your progress, here at the front of the class."

I watched uninterested as he called out names in alphabetical order descending and as they either succeeded or failed, I felt even better but just as uninterested.

"Malfoy." Draco stood and I shivered as the cold brushed over me in response to his lack of warmth. I had been really cold despite the still warmth of the fading summer heat. I remembered Paris and the scorching heat there had been the one day there. It was the day Narcissa gave me the gift for my birthday. It was a pendant that detected malicious potions, charms, and spells. It was a beautiful gift but the sentiment behind it only showed guilt and I could feel it every time the cold metal touched my skin. Inside it was the antidote for all common poisons and I hoped I would never have to use it.

"Malfoy." Draco was finished with his grade and I approached the front of the class with only a fraction of the confidence I had before. Draco's hand brushed against my own as he passed and I stood in front of Professor Flitwick with all the intention of getting this done and over with but the increasing whispers forced my anger to rise. I thrust my wand in the air and with a flick of my wrist the ceiling seemed to have disappeared behind a cloudy sky. Lightning flashed across the sky but no thunder came. Of course it wouldn't, it would be like placing the charm on a snake to turn it to a frog and expecting it to croak.

I returned to my seat and leaned back on Draco.

"I think I'm hungry now."

Draco had left me with a kiss to my cheek and I ran to the Great Hall for a quick bite during my break. I figured I wouldn't be able to stay in one place for the time being until dinner. There were probably people in waiting to ambush me for information.

Dinner came all too soon.

I walked with Draco to dinner after Defense Against the Dark Arts. The new professor was a bumbling dunderhead and it was absolutely annoying. The subject of Draco and I had become the hot topic on the Hogwarts grapevine.

"I'm so excited for dinner, aren't you?" I asked with sarcasm laced in my voice.

He hummed and I frowned. He was still upset with me, that much I could tell but I couldn't let it continue like this. I stopped walking and he turned to look at me.

"What's the matter?"

"You're the matter!" I frowned. "You've been acting like a right prat and it's becoming annoying! Just because you didn't get your way doesn't mean you get to throw a tantrum about it."

"Doesn't it?" He asked as he turned on me. "I asked one simple thing of you and you responded in a way that ripped out my heart and told me not to care."

I threw my hands up. "You're impossible! If you're still mad about the train, it's useless. We were on a train Draco! Where could I have gone on a train? You can't keep me under your thumb like a helpless damsel, I'm not broken and I'm not weak. I can take care of myself."

"Not from what I've witnessed." He crossed his arms.

Any other moment in time and I would have been more than happy to see Draco as his old self but now wasn't the time to hear those words. "You think this is a joke? We're not adults here Draco, we can't even pretend to act like it. We've been forced into this kind of situation and there's no getting out of it. You can't seem to get this through your thick skull though. You think I want to be here like this?"

"You don't have to be." He responded, "there are many other options right now. Being a parent now is not something I want right now either. You could've gotten rid of it."

I stared at him in shock. Was this really the same Draco Malfoy I had spent my summer with? "I can see that your childish simple mindedness hasn't changed. Maybe it was a mistake to trust in you." I took of the ring on my finger and it was almost sad to watch it turn clear as I threw it to the ground. "I won't be your plaything any more, go find someone else."

I wanted so desperately to shake some sense into him but I found it would have been useless. I wasn't sure where to go from there. Maybe if I knew Professor Snape better I could go to him but that was out of the question. Dumbledore would be in the Great Hall along with every other teacher. The tower was too suffocating. I went with my gut and wandered outside on the grounds. I still had three hours until curfew so I treaded along the outside of the Forbidden Forest before I decided to take off my shoes and curl my toes around the damp grass. It was getting dark and the sunset was beautiful. I took a few steps into the wood and at that moment, I didn't care about anything. The lights of Hogwarts began to disappear the further I walked into the forest.

Draco had become the nightmare I wished he would never become. I caressed my nearly flat stomach with unease. What was I going to do about this? Draco didn't want this kid and it would take only but a word and his parents would acquiesce to his wishes. I couldn't do this by myself. It's not like I could get rid of it either, the guilt would eat me alive. I winced as a twig cracked under my bare foot and put my shoes and socks back on, it was only fair. It was probably a horrible instance of karma for me and maybe I shouldn't have accepted their offer so kindly. Or maybe I just needed to return to Muggle London and find somewhere to die if rape and abuse is the only kind of life that will stick with me.

I sat down at the base of a tree probably too deep into the forest to go back the right way. It was cold and I wrapped my cloak around myself tighter.

"Star light, star bright," I hummed because the sky was beautiful at that moment, "the first star I see tonight, if I may and if I might, have the wish I wish tonight..."

"I wouldn't finish that if I were you." I sat up quickly and pulled my wand out. "You don't know how powerful that kind of wishing magic is."

"Who's there?!" I questioned and from the shadows stepped a centaur. I lowered my wand and shook my head. "You centaurs tend to stay away from humans don't you?"

"Why are you here in this forest?"

"I've just come for a stroll that's all."

"You shouldn't be here."

"I was just fine before you came."

"Go back before you get hurt."

I stood and began to walk away. I couldn't even sit in the forbidden forest without being bothered.

"Wait! Don't go that way! You'll-"

I shouted as I slipped on the slick dirt and tumbled down into a giant hole. It was a bit deep and I groaned as I landed. "Ow..." I landed on something hard and rubbed my head. I looked down and horror rose in my throat and around my body.

The were bones and skulls all over the ground in the dirt and ushered my unwanted memories forth. I screamed and screamed as I tried to climb up the dirt wall but I continued to slip back down as the dirt fell away. I cried in hopelessness because no one was going to save me. No one knew and no one cared. I gripped the necklace Narcissa gave me and I cried harder. It was useless and I wished I could die then and there. It would be fitting, dying in this hole with no way out surrounded by the bones of the dead. I tried to call for help and I wondered where the centaur I saw had gone. I huffed a laugh, not even magical creatures cared.

I tried to stay up and away from the bones as I called for help over and over again but eventually my voice couldn't make sound anymore. I tried to few more times to get out until my fingers bled. It began to get worse as the sun rose and the although the wet dirt kept the area cool the heat was beginning to overpower the cool and I sweated through my clothes. I took things of until I was down to my underwear. The glamour charm was still on so I didn't have to worry but it didn't change the fact that it was still hot. I couldn't find my wand anywhere and I hadn't perfected my wandless magic yet. I was still very far from wordless magic unless I was unintentionally using it so even if I had perfected wandless magic I wouldn't be able to summon my wand without my voice. I should have thought about that before I screamed my voice away. I closed my eyes as the exhaustion took over. I would need a drink soon.

When I woke up again, it was dark outside and I looked down at the bones beside me. I took one and threw it up and out of the hole with the hope that someone would see it. I tried to get comfortable in the dirt as I fell back to sleep.

I woke up in a bed.

The disorientation I thought I would feel wasn't there but somehow as I tried to sit up my hand slipped from the bed and I fell off.

I heard a giggle and I poked my head over the bed to see two Hufflepuffs two beds over. I smiled and looked as Madame Pomfrey came into view.

"Oh Ms. Porter, you're awake," how are you feeling?"

"I'm alright, just a bit of a tumble."

I got off the floor and back on the bed. The two Hufflepuffs giggled then and Madame Pomfrey gave them a stern look.

"Back to class, both of you." They fled quickly and I laughed.

She came over and waved her wand. "Any dizziness? Confusion?"

"No, I do know I fell asleep in a hole last night though. When did you find me?"

"Professor Snape found you close to dawn this morning. We're still trying to figure out who led you there though. If you hadn't left those bones in plain view you wouldn't have been found. Someone disillusioned the place you had been hidden."

"Ah, I was hoping to be back before curfew but I got lost and met with a centaur and fell into the hole." I shivered as I recalled the bones. "I hope I never have to spend a night with bones ever again."

"Yes well," she tucked her wand away, "you appear to be fine. Your mother and father are here to see you."

"What? Why?"

"They were summoned here by your own distress apparently. They have been here since you went missing. You can imagine how fearful we all were when the Malfoy patriarch and his wife stormed Dumbledore's floo demanding to know where you were. We hadn't known you'd been missing yet."

She left to call Narcissa and Lucius and not but two minutes later, Narcissa had me in a suffocating grasp. "Oh we were so worried!"

"Narcissa, let the girl breathe."

She loosened her grip and I smiled. "What are you doing here?"

"We were worried about you. You had called me on your necklace, it's connected with mine and will let me know if you are in danger. Unfortunately, it can't tell me where you are." She showed me the exact replica of the necklace she gifted me around her neck.

"Wow, I wish I had known!"

"How is she?" I heard Lucius asking Madame Pomfrey.

"As well as can be."

"And the child?"

"Just peachy. There is no damage to the womb or the feotus from the fall."

I listened to Narcissa chatter on about the new catalog of cribs and nursery furniture she had received. "I was thinking teals and purples if you wanted the baby to be a surprise."

It was then that I realized that they didn't know what happened between Draco and I and hadn't spoken to him to know.

"Narcissa, there's something you should know." I interrupted. I explained in great detail the things that happened in the short time we were gone from the manor. "And that's how I ended up in the hole. I assume he didn't mention it to you or he doesn't know you're here."

"That doesn't sound like my Draco." Narcissa frowned.

"I didn't think so either. That's why I told you first. If anything, I would think he's been bewitched."

"Bewitched? Who would bewitch my Draco?"

"Who wouldn't bewitch Draco? There are too many people that would want to hurt your family and there were many opportunities to do it."

"If I may," Madame Pomfrey interrupted, "Draco was in the hospital wing the day classes started. He had collapsed during his Transfiguration class and was in here until after dinner resting."

"But Draco was in Defense Against the Dark Arts with me."

Madame Pomfrey shook her head. "He never left from the hospital wing."

They looked at me and Lucius spoke. "We have two different stories here. You say Draco was around but he was in the hospital wing. Others would have had to seen him as well. Maybe you have been bewitched otherwise that would mean every person that saw Draco that day would have to be bewitched as well."

"What if it was a polyjuice potion?"

"That would mean they would have to know that Draco would remain here in the hospital wing for the duration of that period."

"There are ways to assure that. Potions, spells and they knew Madame Pomfrey wouldn't force a student to go back if they really didn't feel well. It was only a matter of making Draco unable to leave for that amount of time."

If this was the case that would mean that someone is really trying to hurt Lucius Malfoy and that it wasn't Draco who said all those cruel things to me.

"Of course we're only making assumptions so maybe we should just ask Draco for confirmation."

Of course I had to stay in the hospital wing because of the dehydration and if I didn't get back on track with my meals I would increase my chances for miscarriage. I didn't want that.

"Harli dear," I looked up at Narcissa who had entered the wing, "would you like to see Draco now?"

I shrugged uncomfortably. "What did he say?"

"To his memory, he had been here in the hospital wing but you were right, he had been cursed and he noticed it as well. He came here to rest after he used a lot of energy to break it. Someone took advantage of that and tried to destroy your relationship. We can't seem to find the culprit yet so Professor Snape is testing all the Slytherin students right now."

"Is Draco angry with me?" I asked.

"Harli dear, you have to understand, you two are still children and you both are being forced into this kind of situation. He's just a bit anxious but it will get better. He only sees you and that's all that matters now."

I nodded. "I understand, I'll see him."

Draco walked in with his father and at that moment he looked only like a small child next to him. I smiled lightly as he sat down next to me and fidgeted with his thumbs.

"Harli, I wanted to apologize for my behavior on the train. I was only worried about you and I didn't think that it would have been safe for you to leave me then. I realize my mistakes now because you were right, nothing could have happened on that train so I'm sorry."

I huffed out a laugh, "the two things I never thought I'd hear from you, I'm sorry and I was wrong. I forgive you."

He smiled then and presented the ring I had thrown on the floor. "Will you put this back on now? You can't imagine how I felt when I woke up and my own was clear. It was maddening."

I nodded and he slipped it back onto my left hand ring finger. "Now, do I have to propose to you again?"

We laughed as I shook my head, "no it's okay, you've made it clear enough for me."

That night, his parents went home and I was able to return to my own bed after a long two hour shower to get the grimy feeling off of my body.

"What can I say? I spend a whole day and a half in a hole. I thought I was gonna die and be like the bones down there!"

The girls I told my story to laughed at that and we went and did our separate things after that. Hermione came and sat on my bed and I leaned on her.

"I have your notes from the classes you missed. We have our OWLs this year so you can't slack off."

"Yes mum!" I saluted and she hit my leg. "You know I'll probably miss anyway, this little monster is due around March so I'll be at the manor until the next year starts."

"You won't come back?"

"How can I? It's not like I can let a newborn sleep in the dorms."

"You know there are rooms for married couples right? Usually since those couples were married off while they were still in school they designated these rooms for those couples along with a nursery since they were probably required to have kids."

"How do you know this?" I asked, somewhat excited about the thought.

"The History of Hogwarts. It's a really interesting book, you should read it."

"I'll give it a thought Hermione."

She yawned and stretched. "Well Harli, I'm going to head to bed. You should as well."

"I will. Goodnight Herm."

She went to her own bed and I closed my curtains before I cast the silencing charm. Tonight just felt like one of those nights.


	9. Baited Breath

Temporarily Untitled

.

.

.  
Baited Breath

* * *

"Well, if it isn't Malfoy's girl."

"Yeah, been a while since we last saw you."

I grinned as Fred and George came up on either side of me and wrapped their arms around my shoulders. "Fred! George!"

"How're ya holding up Harli?"

"I'm surviving." I responded lightly. "It's a tough time."

"I bet, being married to a Malfoy and having his kid and all."

I blushed, "we are not married."

I was always happy to have those who hadn't shunned me away like the twins and Hermione. Of course the fact got out that I was the daughter of Lucius Malfoy through adoption and the fact that I was pregnant got out too somehow so the questions hadn't ceased, at least not in the last three days.

"I heard the press is all over the story and they've been hounding Lucius Malfoy every time he steps into the ministry."

I laughed a bit, "he must hate it more than anything." Over the summer and knowing Lucius for that time, it was rather refreshing to know the man knew so much about things they wouldn't dream of teaching us at Hogwarts. He taught me defensive spells as well as offensive spells that would probably get me arrested if I used them on someone. He taught me how to control my magic and tried to help me gain a tighter hold on my emotions so I wouldn't have any accidental outbursts. It worked to a point and I wasn't blowing things up when I was angry anymore but my emotions were still out of hand.

My wandless magic had only gotten slightly better but only slightly unfortunately since it could have helped me immensely when I was stuck in the hole.

"So what's it like being a Malfoy?" George asked. I had learned to distinguish their voices but even that didn't help me sometimes.

"Guys, I'm not a different person. I'm still me okay? It's just a name."

"But it's an important name." Fred commented.

I rolled my eyes as we came upon the Great Hall. I inhaled lightly to prepare myself for on onslaught of gossip, questions, and evil looks. Fred and George opened the door for me and I walked through ignoring the slight increase in volume. Hermione waved us down and I plopped down next to her. George sat next to me and Fred sat next to Hermione so were a double meat Weasley sandwich.

I said it out loud and the twins laughed until they had tears in their eyes. The entire table had turned in our direction but it wasn't the laughing twins they looked at, it was me. I averted my eyes and somehow looked at the head table and to Sev who was watching me. I turned back to Hermione and leaned closer to her. She seemed to notice and wrapped her arm around me. I ate in silence, my appetite dwindling after every bite until I couldn't eat anymore.

"Done already Harli?" Hermione questioned. "You barely touched anything."

"Are you kidding?" I grinned, "I could have at least eaten for twelve people."

She tried to laugh but it was extremely forced and I felt bad. I wanted to be better and couldn't do anything about it.

"Ah, time to head to transfiguration." I stretched and yawned.

"You're going alone?" Hermione asked.

"Of course," I responded confused, "can I not?"

"Of course you can, I just thought you'd want some company."

"No," I smiled, "I like the quiet."

I left the Great Hall alone but I was surprised when Draco called out to me halfway down the hall.

"Good morning," he greeted.

I smiled lightly as he linked his hand with mine. "Good morning."

"How are you feeling?"

"I've been better, and it's so hard to sleep at night."

"What's the matter?"

I leaned my head on his shoulder, "I miss my personal body heater."

Draco chuckled and I smiled too. "I've been speaking with Narcissa. She sends an owl every other day as if something has changed since the day before."

"Tell her to stop."

"I can't do that! She's your mother!"

Draco shrugged and I sighed. He walked me all the way to transfiguration and I smiled as he turned to me.

He took my hand in his and pressed his lips onto the ring and trailed kisses all the way up my arm. He ended at my lips with a soft kiss and my knees were weak by the end.

"I'm heading to Arithmancy." He left me with one last kiss.

I shook my head and entered the empty transfiguration classroom. I sat in my corner seat and laid my head in my hands. Draco made me so happy at times, I almost forgot I hated him at one point.

"Crying because slimy Malfoy left you?"

I rolled my eyes as I heard Ron's voice come through the air. "I'm not in the mood, Weasley."

I lifted my head to watch Ron. After his stunt at the end of last year, I could no longer trust him. "Probably better for you," he snorted and continued to spout off nonsense and insults.

"You know Weasley, you must really like to hear yourself talk, that or you're deaf and didn't hear me say I wasn't in the mood." I pinched the bridge of my nose as a headache came on. "As much as you bother me, someone wold start thinking you like me or something."

I was met with silence and couldn't help laughing. "You do?"

I looked at him and he was as red as his hair. I snorted, if only he knew.

"Shut up!" He shouted and shot a spell at me that missed by an inch.

"Bloody hell Ron!" I ducked as he shot another spell and my hand slipped off the chair I was leaning on. I smacked my side on the chair and bit back a scream. I gasped for air and cowered as another spell hit the wall and rained brick on me. I reached for my wand and shot back a spell that collapsed a pillar. Ron shouted and I took the chance to escape the classroom. I gripped my rib as pain shot up my side and I bumped into someone.

I shouted in shock and my arm was grabbed. "Ms. Porter, what are you shouting about?"

It was Professor McGonagall . "That Weasley attacked me! It hurts to breathe." I gasped. The pain spread from my side to my chest and stomach. I doubled over in pain. After that, I don't remember much.

Professor McGonagall had carried me, or levitated me maybe, and I remember hearing Professor Snape's voice and nothing more after that.

The light was blinding when I woke up. I had to cover my eyes and hide my face in the pillow until the throbbing in my head went away.

"It seems you had a lucky break. You're at St. Mungo's now, any confusion or dizziness?"

It was a man speaking to me. "None of that. Everything hurts is all."

"That's to be expected. You took a pretty nasty hit to the ribs. You cracked a lower rib but it's nothing serious. There's no risk for a lung puncture and you'll just have a big blue bruise there for awhile."

"My baby?"

"The foetus is just fine and healthy but the baby is not growing as fast as your prenatal healer would like. Your portions are large enough correct? You've been sure to eat for two?"

"I eat enough that I won't vomit all of what I do eat."

"That is a smart choice." The throbbing in my head had dwindled and I was able to look at the man finally. He was old and had smile wrinkles around his eyes. "That is all I have for you, Healer Cordelia will be here soon and your father is waiting outside for you. Would you like to see him?"

"Please." I responded. He held out his hand and I shook my head and pulled the blanket closer. "I'm uncomfortable with handshakes."

"I understand." He smiled.

When he walked out Lucius walked in and the smile I wanted to give wiped away with the look on his face.

"You were so careless."

"I know." I bowed my head.

"You're lucky that you got away with a cracked rib."

"I'll be more careful next time."

"Hopefully there won't be a next time. The Board will be finalizing Ronald Weasley's expulsion soon. I thought I'd let you know."

"Expulsion?" I looked at him horror.

"Of course, you didn't expect he'd get away with what he did to you, did you?"

"No, but I never wanted his expulsion either. He was my friend too at one point. I just... To ruin someone's education like that, I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

"And what if I, as your father, decided against that?"

I looked away in shame and exhaled softly. "I wouldn't go against your wishes, Father."

I was surprised when he patted my head. "I'll heed your request but don't expect anything. We can't have other students thinking they can get away with things like this."

"I understand, thank you."

Lucius hummed and went to leave.

"Um, where's Draco?"

"Draco is aware of your location and will be here when classes end. I will return then."

I nodded and laid down again. It was so boring laying down and staring at ceiling. I sighed over and over before I was annoyed just by the color of the ceiling. I looked at my ring and sighed for the umpteenth time. The room was quiet and I didn't know what to do with myself.

I tossed and turned before I laid on my stomach and counted to myself just like Draco had taught me.

"Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq..." I hummed to myself.

"Six, Sept, Huit," I turned over to see Draco in the doorway, "Neuf, Dix."

"Draco!" I tried to get out of the bed but he came over and stopped me.

"It's okay, I'm here, so don't get up."

I grinned and he kissed my cheek. "I was worried about you."

"Lay with me?"

He climbed into the bed next to me and embraced me.

"Did you hurt him?" I asked tentatively.

A short laugh escaped from him, "I wanted to kill him but no, they hid him because they knew I would."

"I'm glad you didn't. I would be sad if you went to Azkaban." I snuggled into his warmth and sighed.

"Are you sleepy?"

"I was so anxious when I woke up and you weren't here."

"Father wouldn't allow me to skip classes despite that fact that I couldn't concentrate either way."

I laughed a little and he stroked my hair. "You're barely listening. Sleep some and I'll be here when you wake."

"Sing to me Draco?" He smiled and began to hum and it didn't take long for me to fall into slumber.

* * *

"What?" I stared at Lucius in shock and he gave me the blankest of stares. "But-"

"There will be no disputing this. When you are discharged from St. Mungo's, you will return to the manor for a while."

"With Draco?" I asked, gripping the said blonde's hand as my anxiety spiked.

Lucius shook his head and my heart dropped. My hands trembled and I shivered just at the thought of Draco not being there by my side.

"It won't be for long." Lucius continued. "Your studies with continue privately from the manor and after Hallowe'en, you may return to Hogwarts."

"Hallowe'en? That's a whole month and a half!"

"You'll survive."

"How will I see Draco?"

"Draco has to remain at Hogwarts. It is only a short time. If it will affect you so terribly, I can see if I may allow him to come back every weekend to see you. I won't make any promises."

I sighed in defeat. There's was no winning against this professional politician. "I will do as you wish."

"I know you will." Lucius replied. I frowned and looked away. Draco and Narcissa remained quiet and I took in a deep breath.

"As soon as Hallowe'en comes?"

"Not a day sooner."

"Okay. I think I've mentally prepared myself. When can I leave?"

Narcissa laughed lightly. "Harli dear, you must stay here for at least another two days."

"Here at St. Mungo's?" I groaned. She and Draco laughed and I smiled trying to make the best of the situation.  
They remained there with me as I was restricted to the bed and no where else unless it was the bathroom. Narcissa brushed my hair and it was long enough naturally that I didn't have to apply the hair growth charm anymore.

Lucius finally decided to sit down after a while and it was peaceful for some time.

"Mr. Malfoy, sir." A man had opened the door slightly and Lucius stood and they spoke quietly, more quietly than we could hear. Lucius finally nodded, "I understand."

"Dear?" Narcissa called.

The door was opened fully and Lucius brushed the invisible dust from his clothes. "It seems I'm being summoned by the Ministry. Narcissa, do be sure that Draco returns to Hogwarts, tonight."

He emphasized it just to be sure that we all knew that there would be no leeway in punishment if Draco didn't return that night.

He left with a curt nod and Draco, Narcissa, and I were left with silence. It wasn't long before we were talking and laughing again.

Healer Cordelia had come in between then and checked in on me. My vitals were good and I needed to take it easy with my rib. She wanted me to take supplemental vitamin potions along with the prenatal potions I was already taking.

She left afterward and I asked Draco to lay with me again. We cuddled for only a few minutes before Narcissa cast a tempus charm.

"I'm sorry Draco, Harli, it's time for Draco to return to Hogwarts."

"It's already that time?" I asked.  
Draco began to get up and I didn't fight or resist. I knew there was no escaping this fate, so it was pointless to fight it. He held my hand and kissed it before he kissed my forehead. "I'll be back tomorrow."

"I know."

Narcissa came and kissed both my cheeks and smiled. "I'll be here in the morning for you."

"Goodbye," I waved and they were gone.

I laid back down and rubbed my stomach. I winced as my fingers pressed against my lower torso. I lifted up my nightgown and looked at the bluish bruise forming on my side. I lowered the nightgown and the door opened once more. A woman walked in and smiled at me.

"I will be your nurse for the night, just call when you need something. Have you eaten?"

I shook my head and she frowned. "I'll return soon with porridge. When I return, you will eat it and every bite of it."

I nodded and got out of the bed when she left. I went into the bathroom and shut and locked the door. I warded it so tightly not even an ant could enter.  
I undressed and stared at my naked body, this fake body that hid the true identity of a nonexistent person. Slowly, I disassembled each and every glamour charm I had assembled. Every once and I while I did it to relieve my body of the stress. Every scar and imprint of bone appeared and only in that short moment of time, I was Harry Potter again. I was a very good actor. Fooling people and lying to them, allowing them to believe I was someone else.

"Ms. Malfoy?"

I jumped in fear. "Y-yes?"

"Come out now, I have your porridge."  
  
I painstakingly reapplied each charm and triple checked to make sure I hadn't missed one.

It was almost five minutes before I opened the door and the nurse was still waiting and her face was laced with annoyance.

"Come now. Sit and eat your porridge." I climbed back into the bed and she placed the porridge on a tray in front of me. I picked up the spoon and took a bite.

It was delicious.

I ate it all and was surprised at myself when I took the last bite. I looked at the nurse who had a smug smile. "Was it good?"

"I can't believe I ate all of it." I admitted.

"That was a serving for two, you did well. I'll make it for you again if you want it when you're hungry."

I nodded and she took the bowl away. "Sleep now, I'll be back later for another pain potion if you need it."  
  
She left the room and I turned over. It was pretty late now so I supposed it wouldn't hurt to sleep now. I tried to relax in the bed and closed my eyes. Sleep came far too quickly.

_"Oi! What're you slowing down for? Speed up I said!" Smack. "Tighten your ass, I can't feel you!"_

_I cried as my hair was pulled. "Please! Stop, I'm sorry! I'll be good!"_

_"I pay for you so you better be good." Another harsh tug. "Eh? Please me better, you're not good enough!"_

_Slap slap slap_

_"It is better now?" Those words came from my own mouth. "Have I pleased you well?"_

_"I'm gonna come inside your pretty little ass. Be ready."_

_"What's your name? Is it cunt? Don't you like it, getting pummeled over and over by these ugly old men? Filled over and over, does it feel disgusting or do you like it? You little whore."_

_"Open up boy! You'll get it nice and good from me. If you bite me, I'll cut your throat."_

_Repeat, fuck, repeat, fuck, starve, fuck, drink, fuck, drugs, fuck, fear, fuck._

_"The little shit ran away! Get him!"_

_Run and don't stop, don't look back, run. Dead end._

_"Found you, pretty boy. Be good now and I'll fuck you nice and hard tonight."_

_"No! Stay back!"_

_Don't let them get you again!_

_Screams and splashes. Blood. Grey matter. Blonde hair. Blood._

"Harli!"

I gasped as consciousness returned to me. I blinked several times to clear my vision and the horrid images behind my eyes. I tried to focus on the face staring at me for a few moments and that's when my brain registered that it was Draco.

"Dr'co?" I reached and touched his face just to make sure it was him who was in front of me. "What're you doing here?"

A short laugh escaped from his lips. "You were having a nightmare my love."

I looked around and there were about eight people in the room. Two male healers, a female healer, three nurses and Draco's parents. I noticed random holes in the walls and shattered glass on the floor. The bar holding the curtains had impaled the door and the curtains themselves were halfway in the bathroom. The window glass had been shattered and the majority of it was also on the floor as a cool breeze floated in.

I covered my mouth and looked back at Draco in horror. "D-did I do this?"

I pushed away from him but he pulled me into a hug and didn't let go. "It's okay, you had no control."

I buried my face in his shirt and trembled. It was because I had no control that things like this happened. I could have hurt or killed someone. I tightened my grip on Draco and he rubbed my back. "No one was hurt. We were all scared you would hurt yourself. Things were flying around the room and you just screamed and spasmed."

He read my mind. A laugh escaped my mouth in between a sob and he just continued to rub my back. It was a bit of time before I was able to get my bearings together. One of the healers stepped forward with a vial of liquid and handed it to Draco. I saw Lucius cast a spell on it before he nodded to Draco. I took the potion without fuss and I knew immediately that it was a calming draught. I shuddered and my body relaxed and then Narcissa came over. She joined in our hug and I smiled. This was my family now and they didn't abandon me just from my night terrors.

"Do you feel better now?" Narcissa asked. I nodded and glanced at Lucius who was speaking quietly with one of the healers. The nurses had already gone around and began repairing things and the other two healers were just watching us.

"I'm sorry for the trouble I caused. My nightmares are..." I shook my head. I didn't want Draco to know.

Lucius and the healer finished up their conversation and Narcissa stood. "Come now, Draco. You have to return now."

I tightened my grip on Draco and Lucius cleared his throat. "No, I think it would be best if Draco remained here for the night."

Narcissa looked at him strangely and he shook his head. "It's okay Cissa, they'll be fine for the night. It's time for us to return as well."

Narcissa bid us farewell with kisses and left with Lucius.

I looked at Draco who I noticed was in his night clothing. He climbed into bed with me and I pulled his shirt until it came off. I touched his bare skin lightly and he shivered. I pulled him down to lay with me and I sighed into the warmth of this skin.

"Don't get spoiled." Draco murmured.

"I'll try not to."

Two days finally passed and I was allowed to leave St. Mungo's. I left only with Narcissa because it's was a Friday. Lucius had work and Draco had classes. She held my hand as we walked through the halls of the hospital and I felt slightly embarrassed.

She smiled at me and I laughed. She was doing it on purpose. We came to the doors that opened to the reception area where the floo was and I pushed them open.

I was immediately greeted with a multitude of flashes and shouts. I raised my arms to cover my eyes. I could barely catch any words that were being shouted but I heard Malfoys and heirs and things like that. I shouted as I was knocked over and Narcissa screamed. There were other people trying to push back the reporters and was surprised I didn't get stepped on. I felt someone trying to lift me and I looked back only to see a healer trying to pull me back behind the double doors. I was able to stand and fled behind the door with the healer and Narcissa was already back there.

She hugged me tight and patted me down over and over again to make sure I hadn't been hurt.

"I'm fine, I promise." I smiled at her and it looked as though she had teared up a bit.

She and the healers had forced me to get another checkup just to be sure. After I had been cleared we were taken to a private floo to use to go home. Narcissa went first and then I went so that she could catch me when I got to the other side. I nodded to the healers and called out Malfoy Manor as I threw down the floo powder.

I stumbled out of the floo and into Narcissa. "You really are terrible at this dear."

"Yes, unfortunately." I grinned and she smiled too. I brushed myself off and sighed as I looked around the parlor. "This is going to be a long month and a half."

* * *

I bounced in sheer happiness as Narcissa tried to brush my hair.

"Harli dear, I know you're excited but do hold still."

"But it's Hallowe'en today!" I planned to do so much today; stuff my face with all the candy I could, eat at the feast, eat more candy, and best of all, I would see Draco. I felt giddy all over again.

It hadn't been a terrible month. The rest of September had passed rather quickly but once October hit, the days passed by very slowly. Narcissa had forced me out of bed those days after I pulled all nighters or had depressed episodes and we worked hard on the nursery. There were rooms in the manor connected by washrooms or huge bathrooms and had huge closet spaces. They were bigger than the rooms Draco and I currently resided in and he would be moving into a bigger room when he turned sixteen either way so they expanded the space of one room's closet space into another large room and turned it into the nursery. When I saw it, there was already a cot with dark wood bars, a bassinet and a changing station. There was a little white rocking chair in the corner and I teared up as Narcissa showed it all to me. The room the nursery was in was Draco's because it was the bigger room but I would stay in there until the baby could sleep through the night but I suppose they assumed we would sleep together anyway. I would have another bassinet for the baby to sleep in near the bed until I was comfortable with leaving it in its cot alone. The walls remained white until we knew the sex and Lucius wanted to know of course if he would have another heir but I wanted to wait.  
  
Narcissa and I spent the better part of a month going through catalogues looking for infant things and clothes as we, or rather I, was under house arrest and couldn't leave the manor. Lucius found out about the attack at the hospital when he returned home of course and he was livid. I received a frantic letter from Draco with a worn out Hedwig the next day and he had also seen the morning's Daily Prophet. He informed me in the letter that along with the class notes he and Hermione had compiled for me, that the school was buzzing about it and it was worse because I wasn't there to defend myself. The rumor that I had some contagious, incurable disease had spread and that I was going to lose the Malfoy heir and I was being held from my education until Draco could return and put another one in me himself. Another was that Ron had killed the kid and I was away grieving while he rotted in Azkaban. Or that I was being held against my will by the devious Malfoys. It was all funny to read. There was always something new in the Daily Prophet.

Tomorrow, I would be twenty weeks but because I was so tiny, it looked like I was eight months already. This tinier person inside of the tiny me was growing at a normal healthy pace but I wasn't and eventually he or she would be to big for my body very far from full term. Healer Cordelia decided that once I hit the seventh month she would have to monitor me because that's probably when I would hit the breaking point.

"There, I'm done." Narcissa patted my head and I stood and grinned at her. "Thank you."

Lucius came in then. "The Parkinson trial is today. How unfortunate." He had a copy of the Daily Prophet. "It doesn't seem like they'll win and get Pansy back in Hogwarts but it doesn't seem like she'll go to Azkaban either. They've really built a case."

"What if they allow her back into Hogwarts?" Narcissa asked.

I shivered and Lucius shook his head. "It would have to be by some Merlin given miracle. I'm doubting she'll be allowed to."

I thought about Pansy and how she hated me so terribly. My life would probably be in danger if she returned to Hogwarts.

"It's just about time to return now." It was about four now and there would be about an hour of classes left before the feast. "We're going to see Dumbledore first and then we are going to move your things out of Gryffindor tower."

"Move my things?" I questioned.  
  
Lucius sighed and I knew he was about to tell me something he didn't want to. "The Board of Governors has decided to allow Ronald B. Weasley to continue his education at Hogwarts under the pretense that he attend detention three times a week until the end of the year, forego his weekends at Hogsmeade, and remain at least ten metres from you. Any violation of these terms will result in his immediate expulsion. Any act of seeable violence or illegal doing will also result in immediate expulsion."

I nodded, those were fair terms in exchanged for remaining at Hogwarts. "What is there's an accident and we bump into one another?" Lucius gave me a stern glare and I shrugged. "You can bump into anyone turning a corner."

"He has been cast with a restraining charm. He will know if he is getting close to breaking his terms and will have to turn the other way or the Ministry will know. Any possible way you two could possibly get close is if you willingly wished to go near him and only that would negate the charm until you were no longer close. Why you would have any reason to want to go near him is beyond me."

I held back my smile and nodded. Lucius was a really kind man under that stern face and frown.

"Alright, it's time to go." I grinned as Lucius stepped into the fireplace and threw down the floo powder. I stepped in with Narcissa and she called out Dumbledore's office.

Dumbledore welcomed us and it felt absolutely wonderful to breathe in the air of the old castle. We sat down and spoke of my grades since I hadn't received any of my submitted assignments back, and then they talked about Ron.

"Ronald Weasley's class schedule has been changed and he no longer has any classes corresponding with Harli Malfoy. The living arrangements had also been changed and Harli will be living in a separate dorm room where there is an equipped nursery for when the child is born." Dumbledore explained.  
  
I held my tongue before I asked if Draco would be staying with me too but I supposed that I could just sneak him in there instead.  
"Come Harli, we are going to move your things."  
  
It was embarrassing to walk into the messy Gryffindor tower and the girls dorm which was worse. The blush never left my face as I shrunk my trunk and stripped my bed. I pretended that some of my things on the floor weren't mine and I could get Hermione to return them to me later.  
  
I was escorted to a portrait not far from the Ravenclaw tower. They informed me of the password and I was surprised at the amount of space inside. There was a little kitchenette and a large rug in front of the fireplace. There was another room that housed a large bed and a bathroom. There was a separate nursery room where a crib and padded table already waited. It was small so if I would probably wouldn't have him or her sleep in there but in a bassinet by the bed. It reminded me too much of the cupboard.

I turned to Narcissa and Lucius with a smile and Narcissa smiled at me. "We are going to go back now dear. It seems that classes are over now and it's time for the feast in the Great Hall. Go on down there, Draco should be waiting."

I hugged them both and skipped out of the room until I was reprimanded and told to walk properly. I trotted down to the Great Hall and admired the floating lanterns and glowing pumpkins scattered across the halls. I rubbed my protruding belly and grinned. Draco was going to be so happy. I could feel movements inside now and it would be great if he could feel them too. It was great the first time Narcissa felt it for the first time last night and she squealed and giggled like a school girl. I hadn't seen him since the hospital even though they told me I would be able to see him. I managed though, despite that and I'm proud of myself. I had nightmares just about every night until I had the great idea to start sleeping in Draco's room. His smell surrounded me and it was like sleeping next to him.

I hummed as I turned the corner.  
  
"You know that I have feelings for you!"

I looked up only to see a blonde head and a brunette head and two pairs of touching lips. My jaw dropped as I saw Draco in a lip lock with one Astoria Greengrass.

He pushed her away quickly enough but my brain didn't see it that way. What I saw was Draco Malfoy, my intended, kissing Astoria Greengrass in front of the Great Hall where no one else was. I felt sick to my stomach as I watched him push her away and shout to her face. I covered my mouth as the nausea took over and turned away. I tripped on my robes, Draco's Slytherin robes, since mine had become too small for my frame and held onto the wall for support. My emotions had gone haywire and I didn't know whether to feel angry or sad or throw up or cry so I just felt dizzy in the end.

"Harli?" I pushed away from the wall and thrust my hands out as I heard footsteps nearing me.

"Don't come near me!" The walls were warping and I had to hold onto the wall again so that I didn't fall over. I gagged and a bit of bile rose in my throat. He tried to step closer and I pulled out my wand and pointed it at him. "I said, don't come near me."

He went quiet and out if the corner of my eye I saw that his chin had sharpened more and he had grown taller than when I saw him. "You saw, didn't you."

I shook my head and tried to turn away. He took that opportunity when I lowered my wand to grab hold of me. I tried to push away from him and but he didn't budge.

"Let go! Let go of me!" I tried to punch him but he wasn't affected.

"Why are you angry right now? Tell me."

I paused for a moment and looked at him. His eyes were shining in the dim light and I couldn't help the unconscious curve of my lips.

His face remained passive as he spoke to me. "You just returned here to Hogwarts today; probably no more than two hours ago. In that time, I finished up my last class, Defense Against the Dark Arts as you know, and waited here for you to finish up your business. In that time, that Greengrass girl met me here in this hall as I waited and forced herself upon me, as you saw, and now this is where we are. Need I go on or would you rather tell me what ridiculous fantasy you had imagined up in your head?"

I blinked at him and he gave me a sardonic frown.

I humphed. "Why do you have to be so cruel to me Draco?"

He released me and smoothed out my robes. He caressed my protruding belly and sighed. "It's you who is cruel to me."

I placed my hands over his and stared at them. "Come on." He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the Great Hall. He opened the door and of course the loud chatter faded fairly quickly; only for a moment before it started up again as normal.

Draco escorted me to the Gryffindor table and straight into the arms of Hermione. I looked at him confused and he only kissed me silently and returned to his own table. I looked at Hermione and she smiled.

"We've come to a slight agreement for the time being."

"About what?" I asked.

At that moment, the doors opened again and Ron stalked into the Great Hall. It had gotten more silent and all eyes had turned to me before the noise had increased tenfold. I looked to the Slytherin table where Blaise was speaking urgently to Draco and the said blonde seemed to be holding onto his anger by the skin of his teeth.  
Ron had paused in his step and was frozen in place in the middle of the Hall. I was surprised when Professor Snape had tapped on my shoulder and helped me stand.

"As per the Headmaster's request, you will be required to reside at the Slytherin table until further notice."  
I pulled an unwilling Hermione with me as I was taken to the Slytherin table. Draco had made space for me to sit and Hermione sat in between me and Blaise. We were like two awkward peas in the wrong pod. The Slytherin students gave us filthy stares and some of them snickered and gossiped quietly. This Hallowe'en seemed to be snowballing very quickly.

After the feast, Draco and I returned to my room. I spread out on my huge bed and sighed. It still wasn't as soft as the beds at the manor but my sheets made it comfortable enough. The duvet was particularly soft and felt like a pillow itself as I laid on it. I turned on my side as that position quickly became uncomfortable and sighed. This having a baby thing was becoming increasingly annoying.

Not a few seconds after, the sudden and urgent need to pee hit me. I tried to run into the bathroom and barely made it to the toilet. It was moments like these when all I loved having my bits and I didn't have to bother with taking off my pants and sitting and stuff like that. I sighed as the stream finally ended and I shivered in relief.  
"It looks like you just had the best wee of your life."

I laughed lightly as I fixed my clothes, "I probably did. This kid is sitting my bladder it seems like."

I washed my hands and turned to Draco. "Are you still going to the Deathsday party?"

"Yeah, did you still want to go?"

I shook my head. "You took so long in the shower, I've gotten too tired now."

He snorted and I sauntered past him back into the bedroom. I started taking off my clothes, down to my underwear and I disassembled the main glamours I had on.

I pulled my hair back and Draco came up behind me. I turned to look at him and he smiled weakly.

I took a deep breath and grabbed his hands. I placed them on my shoulders and they trailed slowly down my arms. I shivered as he rubbed my stomach and pulled me as close as he could for a hug. His hands trembled slightly and I smiled.

"Are you sure you still want to go?"

He shook his head and I began to unbutton his shirt. "Come to bed with me then. I'll miss you more than they will."


	10. Destruction

Temporarily Untitled

.

.

.  
Destruction

* * *

I wriggled uncomfortably as the nurse took my ultrasound. The diagnostic spells she cast tickled in the wrong way and it made me feel sick. She finally finished and a large three-dimensional grainy image appeared.

"Would you like to know the gender today?"

I teared up as I shook my head. The image pulsed in time with the baby's heartbeat and it became real that there was an actual living life in me.  
I grinned as I was able to pull my shirt down and she gave me a moving copy of my ultrasound, "Healer Cordelia will be in shortly."

I nodded in acknowledgement but my focus was on the photo in my hands as it pulsed. It was mesmerizing and I was startled when Healer Cordelia touched my shoulder.

"I didn't mean to scare you dear." I smiled at her as she took a seat.  
I noticed her somewhat flat stomach and frowned, "you had your baby?"

She chuckled and nodded, "yes, almost a month ago. We haven't seen each other in that long remember?"

It was mid-November already and I was about twenty-two weeks along. It was beginning to get harder to walk properly and my pregnant waddle had begun. I had to sleep with pillows under my back and unfortunately the mood swings were worse than a toddler in their terrible twos.

She showed me a photo of her child and I couldn't help the wide grin that spread across my face. The baby was swaddled in a light pink blanket and a purple dummy was in her mouth. She was still pink and light and her face was peaceful as she slept. It brought tears to my eyes and she smiled also.  
  
"This will be the reward for all your hard work when you finish."

I nodded and returned the photo. She finished quickly and took a few more notes.

"You've gained some weight I see," she commented.

"A whole stone!" I declared proudly.  
She nodded as marked another note. She helped me off the table and patted my shoulder.

"You're good to go girlie. Is someone here with you?"

"Narcissa is here with me today," I nodded.

"Good, I'll walk with you."

She spoke with me of her little girl as we walked through the halls and gave me a few tips here and there. Before I knew it, she was passing me along to Narcissa with a smile.

I waved to her as we went through the floo back to Hogwarts.

"Look!" I proudly presented her the photo of the ultrasound and she smiled.

"It's rather exciting isn't it?" She asked. We were in Dumbledore's empty office and she gave me a hug, "I have to go back now dear, you'll be fine on your own?"

I nodded, "I'm going to find Draco now."

She nodded and disappeared back through the floo. I left Dumbledore's office and walked through the quiet halls. It was Sunday and there was no class. Everyone was most likely studying or having their own fun and here I was trying to survive this pregnancy and find my faux fiancé so that I could show him the ultrasound.  
  
It was a long walk to my room and I was angry to find that Draco wasn't there waiting for me. I sat on the settee in the common room for a bit and nearly decided to just stay there but I was too excited and wanted to show him the ultrasound as soon as possible. I heaved myself up from the couch and began my trek down to the Slytherin dungeons. I was exhausted and holding onto the wall for support by the time I reached the hall where the dorms were located. I leaned against the wall and took some deep breaths to get my air back after I made it to the portrait door. I knocked on it and waited. The door swung open after a bit of time and a fourth year, he looked like, had opened it for me.  
  
He looked me up and down without a smile and I frowned, "I'm here to see Draco."

I felt indescribably angry for some reason and I peeked inside the room. I saw Draco sitting on a settee with Blaise laughing about something.  
  
Almost immediately, I felt a pull at my heart and the tears welled up in my eyes.

The kid gave me a disgusted look, "filthy Gryffindors aren't allow in the Slytherin common room."

"I've changed my mind anyway!" I thought I could run but I only managed to waddle down the hall.

"Eh, whatever," I heard the kid say as he slammed the door shut.

It hurt me terribly to see Draco with his friends but it was stupid of me to feel like that. He had a life too but the thought that he wasn't there for me when I came back from something so important, it was painful. I cried harder as I tried to climb the stairs.  
  
I wiped the tears away but they wouldn't stop flowing. I managed another step and slowly ascended them. I had gotten halfway up the flight when I heard my name.

"Harli! What are you doing?"

I looked and Draco was already halfway to me. He knelt down next to me as I was trying to crawl up them on my knees. "This was so dangerous to do on your own! What if you had fallen?! Why are you down here?"

I sobbed again and he went into worry mode, "are you hurt somewhere? What happened?"

I sniffled and snotted as I answered, "you don't like me! I knew it! Y - you like Blaise and everyone else but why am I not good enough? You made me like this! It's not my fault I got f - fat and can't walk properly, I know my ankles swell and my skin has stretched out but I didn't change! I'm still me I just -" I couldn't finish my sentence through the tears.

I was surprised to hear laughter coming from him. My lip trembled as he laughed at me. "Now you're laughing at me," I cried.

"Come on, let's go back and talk." He lifted me up and I was surprised. When did he get so strong?

He carried me all the way to my appointed room without a word. He put me on the settee and immediately disappeared into the bathroom. I sniffed again and rubbed my eyes.  
  
Draco had become more than a lifeline for me. He was an escape from reality but also a true embodiment of it. With Draco, I could be myself but also be someone I'm not and together we played this role perfectly.

I blinked when he knelt down in front of me and began to pat my face and eyes with a warm cloth. He had charmed it so that it would stay warm and I smiled.

"There's a smile " He smiled too and he leaned closer to me to kiss my swollen eyes, my red cheeks and then my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tentatively deepened the kiss. I didn't need any flashbacks hitting me at that moment and I tried to keep my thoughts normal and continuously remind myself that it was Draco in front of me and no one else.

He seemed to be surprised at first but he put his arm around my back and his other hand supported his weight. I smiled against his lips and darted my tongue out to his teeth. He took it slow with me, a light pressing of tongues, wet kissing sounds in the quiet room, our panting breaths, and his constant rubbing of my back. It crossed my mind that maybe he had done this before with someone else and my heart jerked at the thought.  
  
He seemed to notice the change in atmosphere and ended the kiss with one last peck. He smiled at me and I grinned back. I felt indescribably happy at this sudden leap in our relationship. It was an itty bitty baby step compared to anything else but I felt like it would be okay from there.  
  
He took the wet cloth back in the bathroom and I touched my lips almost in disbelief. I had just had my first snog with Draco and I didn't have any flashbacks, any panic attack, nothing. My level of joy was beyond what I could handle.

I couldn't help the wide smile that spread over my face and Draco raised an eyebrow at me when he exited the bathroom.

He sat on the settee next to me and I leaned on him.

"So, are you ready to tell me what happened there?"

"I'm sorry," I bowed my head, "I was hoping you would be here when I returned from something so important!" The happiness I just felt was immediately replaced with anger. "You didn't even bother to come with me to see your kid!" I emphasized in an attempt to show him just how upset I was, "and on top of that, I had to wander the halls alone, just to come back here only to find that you weren't!" I stood up and paced and he watched me in surprise, "so I went looking for you of course, and stairs do not agree with my hip bones just so you know! It's already hard enough trying to walk in a straight line! You knew where I found you, don't you? Not only did you not attend the appointment to the the first image of your kid, but then you weren't even there when I got back! It's like you don't care! Then there's Blaise! You seem to like him an awful lot these days, but you might be shagging him anyway because I won't."

He stood up immediately. "How dare you insinuate that I don't care? And shagging Blaise? You must have gone mad. If you must know, I lost track of time sure, I hadn't even realized you returned. Also, I couldn't go along with you because not only are we not married, but I'm not allowed to leave campus unless it's to go to Hogsmeade, but surely you knew that yourself."

"You came with me last time."

"Yes, but we weren't in school back then were we? I also had a note of permission from the Ministry acquired for your sake by my father but I suppose you didn't think of that did you? You're such a simple-minded prat and you don't think of anyone but yourself. Oh, how does it benefit me? Oh, who can I blame my problems on? Oh, I've decided to fake my death and be someone else. It's bullocks."

I clenched my fists, "don't go there Draco. I wasn't the one that chose this. I told you to leave me be but you put yourself in this situation with me. It's no one's fault but your own. Also, I'm simple-minded and selfish? You should take a good look in the mirror and think because I'm sure it's not me who fits that description. It's you Malfoys who think of blood supremacy and look down on others, always have and when this kid is born, it will be the end of that. I won't raise my kid to be that way whether you like it or not and there's no changing that."

He started laughing and I crossed my arms, "it's us Malfoys you say? Guess what sweetheart, you are a Malfoy and that kid of yours is going to be a Malfoy too, whether you like it or not and there's no changing that. You may not like our current situation but right now there's nothing you can do about it." He was mocking me.

I pulled my hair loose and grabbed the ultrasound photo from my robes. I stared at the moving image for a moment before I threw it carelessly at Draco.

"You can sleep in the dungeons tonight or for the rest of your life for all I care. All I know is I'll hex you if you stay any longer."

I went to my bedroom and shut the door quietly. I had been itching to take out my wand and hex him to next week but he was still Draco and my adoration was covered just by my anger.

I sighed and crawled into bed. I couldn't be bothered to deal with the raging emotions inside or outside. I snuggled into the pillow that Draco usually slept on and sighed. I would regret not having his warmth next to me tonight but I would deal with that tomorrow.

It was only around seven in the evening but it would be fine to sleep a bit and if I woke up too early, well, that would also have to be dealt with tomorrow.

Everything would be dealt with tomorrow. I yawned and turned over as Draco's scent surrounded me.  
  
I treaded the halls sleepily and I didn't have to look in the mirror to know there were dark circles under my eyes. I went to the Great Hall for an early breakfast and was happy that only the early birdies were there. I plopped down at the Gryffindor table and piled a piece of toast, two spoons of scrambled eggs, a slice of bacon and marmalade before I stuffed my face. I downed my glass of pumpkin juice and another glass of milk before I patted my protruding belly. It was satisfying to eat so much and now that I was out of my morning sickness faze, I didn't worry about vomiting everything. I grabbed my bag and wandered to the courtyard where I attempted to finish my potions essay before Transfiguration started. There were still two hours before class so I curled up and started writing.

I heard rumors that Professor Snape was giving Ron a hard time since he returned and Gryffindor had lost so many points, even they were starting to turn their backs on him. I almost felt bad for him but then I shrugged it away. It was unnecessary worry, I thought, as we weren't friends anymore and I didn't care if Gryffindor didn't win the house cup, I had more important things to worry about now.

I ended my essay nearly an inch longer than it needed to be and looked over it. It was rather wonderful and I rolled it up before I began my long and painful trek to the dungeons. I held onto the stone railing for support and my legs were shaking halfway down. Each step was a painful stab up and down my legs and back and I inhaled sharply as I took another step. I caught my foot on the step and braced my entire body but I caught myself and fell backward onto the steps.  
  
I grunted in pain as I hit my lower back on the step and the pain radiated up and down my body I tried to rub the area but even the slightest touch was uncomfortable. It had only been my back and I cast a quick diagnostic spell only meant to check on the foetus that Narcissa had taught me before. I sighed in relief when it didn't show anything negative.

I picked myself off the stairs and finished the remaining steps slower than before. The pain wasn't going away but I walked along the wall to the potions classroom and knocked on the door. I wiped away a bit of sweat and waited. It was about two minutes before I decided to raise my fist and knock again. I got one knock in when the door swung open and Sev stood there with a deep frown on his face.

"Why are you bothering me this early Malfoy?" He asked.

"I was coming to submit my essay, Professor," I stepped forward and my leg gave out on me. He caught me by my arm and I struggled to stand.  
  
"You insufferable twit," he sighed exasperatedly, "I should have known you did something stupid like walk down the stairs by yourself. Where is your equally insufferable other half?"

"Draco and I had a fight," I admitted.

"Of course you did," he wrapped his arm around my torso and practically carried me into his office. It was simple and bare with only the bathroom and desk and a settee. He sat me on the settee and ordered me to stay there. He left the room and came back almost immediately with bruise salve.

"Show me your back," he seemed to ponder his words and I took off my robes hesitantly.

I pulled my shirt up at the back and I knew it had to look bad. He came close to me and applied the bruise salve quickly before he stepped away. It was cooling and helped with the tenderness. I sighed and he closed up the jar.

"Why are you here, Porter?" He asked suddenly.

I looked at him quizzically, "I came to submit my esssy."

"I am not an idiot, so I know for a fact that you did not come to me because of an assignment you could have submitted during class. What is it, you thought I would pity you and listen to your pathetic moping and give you some helpful suggestions?"

I didn't answer and I suppose I didn't know why I thought Professor Snape would be the ideal candidate to express my troubles to.

"I'm not your babysitter and I'm not your friend. Do not think otherwise."

"Yes sir." For one who was supposed to be a caring godfather, he surely didn't fit the part.

I stood up gingerly and was pleased that there was little pain. I followed Professor Snape out of his office and he led me to the classroom door. I was surprised to see Blaise standing at there waiting.

"Mr. Zabini here will help you to your class."

I nodded and he nudged me out of the classroom before slamming the door.  
  
I turned to Blaise and he offered me his arm. It was silent as we walked through the hall toward the stairs. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and sighed, "why are you here anyway?"

"Professor Snape called me to help you. Draco slept in the dorm last night so I suppose you two are fighting and that's why. Maybe he knew Draco would be angry if it were anyone else and I'm sure Professor Snape wouldn't dream of summoning any of your Gryffindor friends even if it was his only choice."

I chuckled at that, "yes, I suppose you're right."

It went silent again but I couldn't help but to voice my insecurity. "Are you two shagging?"

He looked at me in surprise, "who?"

"You and Draco. Is he shagging you because I won't let him do it to me?"

Blaise burst out laughing then, "oh Merlin, Draco was right."

I glared at him as he wiped his tears. "Well?"

"Draco walked into common room yesterday evening thrumming with anger, you know? He started ranting off to me about how you kicked him out because you thought we were shagging and that he didn't know if he would be able to sleep comfortably without you. He's so smitten it's hilarious. It was surprising to see him out cold in the dorms still at eight. He's usually snarking off some insult at that time and to see him sleeping like that was amazing."

We walked up the stairs slowly. "So, you aren't shagging?"

"Of course not. It's appalling that you would suggest such a thing actually. Draco and I have been mates since we were children, we grew up talking about breasts and here he is with someone without them."

My heart sped up, "what do you mean?"

"Sorry to break it to you but yours are so little I don't know how he handles it." He made a grabbing hand at the air, "breasts are meant to be squeezed and held and laid on like pillows and I don't see how he does it with you."

I relaxed and laughed as we reached the top of the stairs. "Ah, well, it's just absolutely unfortunate for me."

He helped me all the way to the Transfiguration classroom and saluted to me as he left for his own Arithmancy class. I waddled into the classroom and sat down in my usual seat. I was kicked in the ribs and I sighed. It was going to be a long day and I was nowhere near ready to see Draco yet.

Transfiguration went by too quickly for my tastes and to top it all off, we had a fourteen inch essay to have finished by tomorrow. O.W.L.s were coming and the professors were relentless. Not to mention that the midterm exams were coming before the holiday break.

I packed up my things and left the classroom after everyone had gone and treaded slowly to the dreaded stairs. I groaned as I stared down them and watched the others descend them effortlessly.

I was jealous. If I had my regular, not pregnant body back, I could do whatever I pleased. I sighed and grabbed the stone banister and took my first step down. It was harder and harder each time I tried to descend but it was definitely easier going slowly. I moved at a snails pace but I was getting down the stairs without pain and for that I was grateful.  
I was surprised though, when an arm wrapped around me and Draco was there beside me. "I don't care how cross you are with me," he huffed out a laugh, "I can't leave you looking so pathetic as you struggle down the stairs.

I wondered how many times he would tear my heart to shreds and sew it back together.

He released me at the bottom of the stairs and looked away, "you should have said you were in pain."

I muttered out an apology and expressed my gratitude.

"Are you still angry?" He asked.  
  
I hesitated before I shook my head. "I'm not angry anymore but I'm still not ready to talk to you yet, can you leave it at that for a while?"

He sighed and gave me a sad smile, "okay."

I kissed his cheek and he hugged me gently. I headed to potions first and he said he would wait for Blaise who stayed behind for something.

I entered the potions classroom and ignored the whispers of those who had just seen the interaction between Draco and I. Since Hermione had transferred into this class because of Ron's transfer out, I would sit with her for the time being.

"You're in my seat Gryffindor."  
  
I looked up disinterested at Millicent Bulstrode and looked back at the front.

"Hey! Didn't you hear me or did that ugly thing inside you mutate your hearing too?"

I pushed my seat away and stood to her level. "Listen here, you bothersome pig. I won't hesitate to destroy you from the inside out and it won't be fun for anyone because you're so bloody fat you'll cover every wall. Now, take yourself along and find a different seat and none of us will have to find out what you actually look like on the inside. Understand?"

She scurried away and I sat back in my seat. It was irritating to have to deal with these impudent nuisances but I did what I had to. Hermione finally walked in and sat down next to me and I just smiled at her tiredly. It was going to be a long day for me and I wasn't ready to deal with it. Draco finally walked into the class with Blaise and Sev walked in soon after.

"Open your books to page 353," he drawled out as he wrote on the board.  
  
I crawled into my bed during my break. As promised, Draco let me be and Hermione helped me up the stairs. I knew it was only a matter of time until I had to get right back up to go to Arithmancy but I could take a short nap and be just fine.

It felt so good to sleep away the tiredness I felt for the short time but I felt seriously cold. I was sure I had gotten under the blankets during my sleep but along with the chill, there was a constant pounding in my head. It sounded too much like knocking and finally after a while it went quiet.

"Harli," the voice was quiet but I tensed at the cool hand on my head. I was startled awake by that and I was shushed almost immediately. I tried to look up at the person touching me but my eyes were heavy and I shivered at the cold that touched my fingers and toes. It had to be someone who knew the password of my room and if that were the case, I had nothing to worry about.

I felt warmed and refreshed as I woke up and a part of me was freaking out as I sat up as quickly as I could because I probably missed the rest of my classes. I was shocked when my hand met a warm body as tried to get out of bed. Draco was asleep beside me and I could only think that something had happened because he should have heeded my request when I said I didn't want to see him.

I reached over for my wand and cast a tempus charm and frowned at the 1 am time. Gently, I shook Draco and he stirred lightly before his eyes opened. He sat up slowly and I swallowed at his tousled look. His sliver irises were dark and he looked every inch of a catalogue model.

"You're awake," he muttered and touched my cheek.

"So are you," I smiled, "what are you doing here? What happened?"

"You didn't come to class so your friends came looking for me, talking about they had been knocking on your door and you hadn't answered."

"Ah, and because you knew the password," it made sense why my head had been pounding as if someone had been knocking, "they came to you."

"I thought you were with Madame Pomfrey and that's why you didn't come to Defense Against the Dark Arts. I was on my way there when they came to me."

"That still doesn't explain why you're here now."

"You were unconscious with a fever when we found you in here. You had sweated through your clothes and you were so deep in your sleep, you didn't respond at all."

Dread filled my stomach, "w-what?"

"Luckily, Madame Pomfrey said your fever had spiked only due to fatigue and that you would be just fine after a fever reducer. She had Healer Cordelia come and make sure and she also said you would be fine after some rest. You've been pushing yourself too hard. I was so worried about you," he frowned and I bit my lip in guilt.

"Did you tell Father or Mother?" I asked quietly.

He smiled at me and I gulped, "I didn't tell anyone anything but because you're still a minor, Madame Pomfrey or Healer Cordelia might send an owl just to let them know in case it happens again."

I groaned and fell back on the bed.  
Draco chuckled and laid down next to me, "I take it Father has struck fear into you already?"

"Yes," I muttered and he chuckled again.

I turned to face him and he smiled again, "I heard fevers are bad for babies. Is it okay?"

He nodded, "it was away as quickly as it came so everything is just fine."  
  
He pulled me close and rubbed my stomach. There was movement and Draco's hands froze and a grin spread across my face, "did-did that just..."  
  
I nodded excitedly, "he always moves when you come around. It's as if he knows it's you and that you are daddy."  
  
He couldn't stop smiling and I tried to prevent the tears from coming. This was such a beautiful moment.

He kissed me passionately then and I felt indescribable joy. His happiness radiated from him in waves and I could feel his magic wash over me.

"You said he," he said, "you know the gender?"

"Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean it as if I knew it. It just feels wierd now to call it an it, so for now it's a he. If he is a boy, then I'd imagine he'd look like you, and if he is a girl, then I'd imagine she'd still look like you. Regardless of the outcome, this baby will look like you."

He grinned at me and I grinned back. I knew that no matter what, this baby would get all the love and care I didn't.

"So I was thinking," I started and Draco hummed in acknowledgement, "how are we going to tell your parents?"

"Tell them?"

"I can't keep my identity a secret from them forever, and this baby has to come out of me somehow but it would be hard to give a valid reason on why I can't just have it the normal way. So how are we going to tell them?"

Draco was silent for a good while before he sighed, "I'm not sure. We'll have to just sit them down and you can say, "hey, I'm Harry Potter" and be done with it."

I stared at him and he shrugged his shoulders. "Is that the best you can come up with?"

"Well, there's not really an easy way to approach it. Sometimes I forget that you are who you are as it is. You're beginning to play your role too well."

"I suppose," I responded lightly. "Are you going back home for the winter? It's coming up rather quickly."

"Don't you mean we?"

"Are WE going back home for the winter?" I clarified.

"I don't see why we wouldn't. Do you not want to return?" He asked.

"I do want to go back and it would be nice for you to be with your parents at that time."

The break would be starting in three weeks. At that time I would be 27 weeks along and there was no doubt in my mind that I would be pulling my hair out by then.

"Did you hear about the Parkinson trial?" Hermione asked me the next morning during breakfast.  
  
"Hmm, what about it?" I inquired through a bite of toast.  
  
"It ended yesterday. They decided that since there was proof that she used two unforgivables on more than one occasion, her expulsion has been finalized and she won't be able to come back to Hogwarts or any other wizarding school ever. Also, she can't get another wand and any job she gets has to be under ministry approval. They won't send her to Azkaban or give her the Dementor's Kiss because she's still a minor and the lawyers she had really fought her case."

"It seems I really pissed her off so it's good she's not coming back here," I replied.

I peeked behind me at the Slytherin table where Draco was chatting with his table mates. He had a smirk on his face and I knew he had just won an argument.

"Are you going back to Wiltshire for the winter?" Hermione asked.

I nodded, "Draco persuaded me to go back yesterday."

"You didn't want to?"

"It's not really that, it's just that I still don't really feel part of their family yet. This will be my first Christmas with them and I'm not ready for it yet. Christmas is a time for family and if I could get Draco to leave without me, I would no matter what." I responded.

"Have you told this to Malfoy?" She questioned.

"I don't need to. It's an unnecessary conversation and it doesn't matter because I'm going back to the manor if I want to or not."

Hermione sighed and I smiled.

"Hey Hermione!"

The brunette looked to Seamus who had called her name. It was rather strange to see him look so serious but just his facial expression had Hermione sitting up straight. "What is it Seamus?"

"It's Ron, we thought you might be able to help."

Hermione got up from her seat and I followed her and Seamus out of the Great Hall. They went Gryffindor Tower and as soon as I got close to the portrait door, my hair stood on end.

I shivered and Hermione smiled. "You should stay here, the restraining charm makes you feel like that."

She went into the common room but asked the Fat Lady to keep the door open so that I could hear.

"What's gotten into you Ron?"

"Shut up Hermione, just leave me alone."

"Don't you realize that if you continue to skip class and not attend your detentions, you'll be expelled? Is that what you want?"

"I'd rather be expelled than face all the gits in this merlin awful school. It's horrible being here!"

"Why didn't you think of that before you attacked Harli? You should have known the consequences of attacking a student and a pregnant one at that." Hermione retorted.

"I won't have to worry anymore if I get expelled. I'll work in a field for the rest of my life if I have to."

"Ron, come on. Ron. Ron!"

I knew that he wasn't listening anymore and I sighed. I would probably regret this.

"I willingly wish to approach Ronald B. Weasley," I muttered and I felt the effects of the restraining charm let up.

I stumbled into the Gryffindor common room and the eyes of Dean, Seamus, Hermione and Ron fell on me. I frowned and stomped over to Ron. I grabbed his collar and gripped it tightly.

"You listen here, Ron. I pleaded for your leniency as I laid in that hospital bed not knowing if my baby would survive because you got a little angry and started shooting spells at me," I didn't care to bend the truth a little, whatever I needed to do to get him to listen, "I begged for them to let you come back so I will not have you make me into a fool just because your feelings are hurt. Suck it up buttercup and get angry at those people who are being mean to you. You go to your classes and you attend your detentions like you are supposed to and don't complain about it like a little baby." I let his shirt go and he put his hand to his throat. "I don't care anymore if you don't like who I associate with but don't just give up because you see no future in sight. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. So from a former friend and all your current friends, do what you need to do to stay here at Hogwarts. Also, now you know what it's like to have knuckles pressed against your neck, it's not fun is it?"

I crossed my arms and strolled out of the common room satisfied with the outcome. There was no doubt in my mind the Ministry had already been alerted to the fact that I broke the restraining charm. As soon as I was far enough away from the common room, I felt its magic again.

I put a hand to my own throat. I hoped he felt the same pain and betrayal I did when he gave up on me because from now on that's what I would do. Ronald Weasley would finally become another person, another stranger passing me by, someone I used to know.

I nodded and continued to walk down the hall. I would be late for Transfiguration if I stayed any longer.

It didn't take long for me to be called the Dumbledore's office. We were in the middle of advanced Transfiguration spells when Professor McGonagall told me to go immediately.

It was no surprise to see Aurors waiting in Dumbledore's office with the old wizard but I hesitated in my step when I saw Lucius waiting with his arms folded.

"Sit down, Ms. Porter," Dumbledore ushered to a seat in front of his desk.  
My feet wouldn't move and my lip trembled before I could stop it. The tears welled in my eyes and slid down my face. I didn't take my eyes off of Lucius, not once.

"You're not in trouble my dear. The aurors just want to ask you a few questions," Dumbledore smiled kindly.  
  
I shook my head and tried to wipe my eyes but the tears wouldn't stop. My hand was grabbed and I looked to Lucius who had a passive look on his face as he handed me a hankerchief, "You'll ruin your robes. Now sit down as you've been asked to."

He led me to the chair and I sat down.  
  
"Tongue out," he said and I obeyed so that two drops of Veritaserum could be administered.

"Did you go near Ronald B. Weasley?" One auror questioned.

"Yes." I warbled.

Did you go near him on your own free will?"

"Yes." The answers came out without effort on my part, as if I were being possessed. I didn't have the concentration capacity to fight it like before. Not that I needed to anyway.

"No one forced you to go near him?"

"No."

"Why did you go near him?"

The panic began to set in as I answered the questions, "he was purposefully trying to get himself expelled by skipping lessons and detentions and I wasn't going to be made fun of because I was the one who pleaded for his leniency." I rubbed my hands against my robes and the panic began to seize in my throat, "I won't do it again!"

"Ms. Porter," I turned my attention to Dumbledore, "are you quite alright?"

"No, am I free to go?" I shivered as the space around me began to shrink. It felt like they were all coming close to me and I felt suffocated.

"What has you so distressed?"

"You're all getting too close to me. Why do you keep coming closer?" I put my hands out but a part of me knew there was no one there. "I can't breathe..."

My breath came in short, shallow gasps and I tried to push them away but I couldn't touch anyone, "no one is close to you Ms. Porter."

I stood up and tried to take in a breath but the dizziness at the motion had me tipping to the side. I gripped the desk and leaned on it as hands reached out to catch me. "Get away from me," I squeezed my eyes as a headache came on, "stop talking."

"We still have a few more questions, only a few," I finally felt the familiar velvet robes of Lucius and I gripped the fabric.

"I think this is enough for today gentlemen," Lucius said, "you have the answers you need."

_There were men on all sides of me. Their deep, low voices speaking, laughing, mocking._

_"Look at that, it's dripping."_

_"I want to go in again."_

_"I think he's knackered. Let's wait."_

_"Knackered? He's young, I'm old and I can go again. Hey, turn over!"_

"Look at me," I was forced out of my flashback and I tried to focus on Lucius' face. His silver irises bore into mine and I felt like I was going to be sick.

He seemed to notice it too and he conjured a bucket a bit too late and I missed and threw up on my robes and his. My face burned in embarrassment as I managed to puke in the bucket but he didn't seem fazed, just slightly awkward as he patted my back. All of my breakfast came up and I trembled as I vomited forcefully. I gasped and swallowed as my stomach cramped and I sunk down onto my knees and clutched the bucket close as I threw up again. I heard the fire flare and I figured the aurors had left. I don't know how long I sat there as my body forced out stomach acid and how much longer until I was able to stop my body from trembling.

Lucius had made the vomit disappear and I blushed again at the fact that I threw up on him. If he knew I was Harry Potter, he probably would have hexed me.

I felt exhausted by the time my breathing had calmed down and I rubbed my bump. Lucius touched my shoulder and helped me stand. The aurors had left in the middle of my nausea and I was grateful for that. Lucius made the bucket of vomit disappear and I stared at Dumbledore who resumed his position behind his desk.

"I have summoned young Mr. Malfoy to come and take Ms. Porter back to her dorm."

"Malfoy," I commented and the professor looked at me curiously, "my family name is Malfoy."

Dumbledore gave me a slight smile and nodded, "yes, your family name is Malfoy."

Draco chose that moment to stroll into Dumbledore's office and he paused at the scene in front of him. He looked at me, then to his father and back to me and frowned.

"Ah, young Mr. Malfoy, nice of you to join us."

"Father," the blonde nodded his head and I smiled weakly, "you called for me professor?"

His scathing tone shone through for only a moment before it pulled back.  
Lucius gave me a light push toward Draco and I smiled. I wished I never had to tell him who I am.

"You are free to return to your dorm for the day dear."

I nodded, "goodbye, for now."

Draco followed me out of the office and we walked in silence for a while before he opened his mouth. "For you to have been up there and Father to be there as well, either he found out about the fever and came to threaten you or you did something stupid. I feel as though it's the latter."

I grinned at him, "you know me so well."

"Of course. What did you do?"

"I broke the restraining charm."

I could hear his shoes screech as he came to an abrupt stop and I cursed the veritaserum that hadn't worn off yet.

"You did what?"

"I broke the restraining charm," I repeated and facepalmed, "Ron was trying to get himself expelled again so I went to talk some sense into him."

"Why would you do something so stupid?" He put his hands on my shoulders.

I chuckled and leaned forward to kiss him, "I wasn't alone and I won't do it again, can't that be enough for you?"  
  
He stared at me intensely, and I kissed him again. He sighed finally and kissed me back.

"I love you Draco," I cupped his cheek and smiled, "more than you know."

"Oi, get a room!" Classes had gotten out and there were people passing us by.

I blushed and continued walking while Draco trailed behind me. Our fingers were intertwined and I felt completely at ease.

It was only a few days before we were supposed to go back to Wiltshire for break. It was December 13th when the post came for the last time.

I was really huge and it was extremely painful to walk around. I had been constantly craving treacle tart so I begged Ginny to ask Mrs. Weasley to make one for me and she's been sending them to me once a week for the last few weeks. I was really looking forward to it as I'd been craving more since I'd finished the last one. It was going to be sad without one for Christmas because the Malfoy's would never allow a Weasley owl near their home. I could probably persuade Draco to let me send Hedwig but I wasn't hopeful.

I was sitting at the Slytherin table flanked by Draco and Blaise as Hermione was still out preparing some surprise for me. I smiled as I forced another forkful of eggs in my mouth and grimaced.

"What's the matter? You've hardly touched your food," Draco questioned.  
  
I shook my head, "I'm fine, your kid just really wants that treacle tart."  
  
He cracked a smile but I could tell he wasn't pleased by that idea. Finally, I heard the flapping of wings and I got excited that I would finally have what I wanted.

Saracen, Draco's owl, dropped off a post from Narcissa with a letter containing more catalogues and items circled that she thought I might like but told me to tell her about it after I returned home.

Finally, a bit after that, Pigwidgeon came soaring in clumsily and dropped off the treacle tart I had been waiting for. I gave him a bit of bacon and dug into the tart after he had flown off.

I moaned in delight as I stuffed the first piece in my mouth. It was so good. I got through three more slices before I had to stop to take a drink.

"Have you had your fill?" Draco asked amused as he handed me a napkin.

"I can never be full of treacle tart and Mrs. Weasley makes it the best. The ones here just can't compare. I know you don't like the Weasleys but won't you try some?" I took a small bit of tart on a fork.

"You're not going to really eat that filth, are you Draco?"

I looked down the table at Astoria Greengrass who just had to open her mouth. She had been rather quiet since Hallowe'en when Draco rejected her and this is the first time I had heard her speak since then.

I huffed and took the bite of tart. It didn't taste so great anymore. I was surprised when he took my fork and ate a sliver of tart. He made a face but still told me that he liked it. I knew it was good but he wouldn't accept it because it was made by a Weasley.

I put my fork down and pushed the tart away. It was half eaten with forkfuls missing here and there. My mood swings hadn't subsided and I suddenly felt depressed. I sighed and pulled Draco into a kiss before I left for Transfiguration a bit early. I lingered a bit and pulled away with a smile. "It's delicious."

He smirked at me and I stood to leave but I was stopped when another owl dropped another package in front of me. I grabbed more bacon and went to pet the unfamiliar owl but it bit me.  
"Ow!" I glared at it and it seemed to glare back at me before it flew away. I licked the blood from my finger and grunted at the sting.

"Who's it from?" Draco asked.

"I don't know, it doesn't say." It was a medium sized box wrapped in green paper. I sat back down on the bench and pulled the paper off. From the corner of my eye, I saw movement from the head table but I really wanted to know what was inside.

I took the top off and a smile rose to my face. It was a plain, white bib on top of some gift paper. I took the bib out and sighed at how soft it was. I pulled the gift paper out and my body seized up in terror. Inside was a head with shiny red hair and emerald green eyes and for a moment I saw my mother staring back at me. Her eyes were dull and dilated and they still reflected the fear she felt the moment she was killed. I knew this woman, I knew her but my fear muddled brain couldn't come up with a name.

I tried to push away from the table in my panic but I just fell backward off of bench and smacked my head and back on the floor. I laid there for a moment dizzy and unable to focus on the faces gathered above me but my stomach lurched and I could feel the vomit raise in my throat and come out of my mouth. It slid disgustingly down the sides if my face and I felt someone turn me on my side.

My ears were ringing and there were too many people talking to me at once. The bib had fallen on the floor next to me and I watched in horror or words began to sprout on the soft fabric in bright red bloody letters.

I.

Love.

My.

Mummy.

A scream tore from my throat and I couldn't seem to get any air. I gasped as I choked on vomit and that damned bib was the last thing I saw before everything went dark.


	11. Christmas Blues

Temporarily Untitled

.

.

.  
Christmas Blues

* * *

Muddy green eyes. Red hair. Emeralds. Rubies. Lilies. Blood.

The eyes looked at me with such horror but where have I seen them?

I could hear myself screaming.

Wake up. Echoing.

"She's waking up."

It was an unfamiliar voice that rang out and I gasped as I reached consciousness. There was a dull throb in the back of my head and the light in the room was too bright when I tried to open my eyes. I turned over to avoid the light and groaned at the pain. The throb didn't disappear but then the lights dimmed and I sighed in relief. I took a moment to gather my bearings and tried to sit up. My eyes burned and watered as they tried to adjust to the dim light in the room. The curtains had been drawn and there were candles lit but it was still too bright.

I looked around the unfamiliar room and rubbed my head. Where was I?

"Harli Jay Porter."

My heart jumped in anxiety as I heard the same unfamiliar voice I'd heard while I was sleeping.

There were two men that had entered the room and I stiffened in fear. I did a quick scan for my wand but it was no where in sight. I tried to calm my breathing but they approached the bed and I scooted back to the headboard.

"We are here to ask you a few questions," one man said.

"Where am I?" I retaliated.

"Be quiet," I flinched in fear and the man pulled out a potion vial, "two drops on the tongue now."

"I will not take that," I knew the instructions for veritaserum but I wasn't stupid.

"You will take it," one man moved around the bed and I scooted to the opposite side. I whispered out for my wand but it didn't come right away and I decided to move.

I never thought for a second that I would be able to get away but I wasn't going to give in so easily. I slid off the bed and tried to escape in a haste but I was caught by the arm and pushed to the ground.

I screamed out for help and a gloved hand covered my mouth. I bit down on that hand and I was satisfied by the grunt of pain I heard. I brought my leg up and kicked back and I must have hit my target because I heard a nice groan and I rolled out from beneath him.

The other man was there and pushed me back down. It was uncomfortable on my stomach and I was worried about the baby on my fall but I couldn't be worried about that.

"HELP!" I cried out again and I heard the slight echo which must have been the unconscious sonorus charm in my panic.

My heart was racing and I wasn't sure how to escape from my current situation. I shut my eyes as I felt a grip on my foot and I kicked out again.

_There was a weight on my back as I laid, exhausted._

_"Hey, I'm not finished with you, sit up boy."_

_I clenched my eyes shut as I felt the hardness pressed against my arse._

Get off. Get off! GET OFF!

Suddenly, the weight holding me down disappeared and I heard a faint choking sound. I looked back and the man was on the floor, his hands around his throat and his face was rapidly going red.

"You bitch, what are you doing to him?" The other man raised his wand at me and I brought my arms up in defense.

"Stupefy!"

I heard it before I saw the man's body fly into the bed. I felt arms around me and I struggled.

"Harli, hey, calm down, it's me."

"Draco," I breathed and I buried my face in his robes. He smelled like he always did, spicy and calming.

There were more footsteps and I tensed but Draco's hand ran through my hair. I could still hear the choking.

"Harli, you're choking him," I clenched my fingers in the fabric of his shirt. The images of that time were still flashing behind my eyes. "Let him go, he can't hurt you anymore." I peeked at the man who turned purple, and still struggled for breath. "I've got you. Let him go."

I stared as his lips rapidly turned blue and for a moment, our eyes met. I looked away and buried my face back into Draco's robes and the choking stopped. I heard the sounds of hacking and gasps for breath.

"Draco! What is going on in here?"

It was Lucius' voice that cut through the air.

It was quiet beside the heavy breathing of the man who laid only a few feet away.

"They attacked me," I said but my voice seemed louder in my ears.

"What?" It was Lucius' hiss I heard next and I shivered.

"Draco, go into the other room," Lucius ordered and Draco gathered me into his arms and carried me out.

I saw Lucius, Narcissa, and another man I didn't recognize as we passed and Draco held me close as he strutted down the long hallway.

"We are at the manor?" I questioned quietly. My throat was sore and the exhaustion I felt hit me again ten fold. I closed my eyes, "when did we get here?"

"Last night," his voice was tight and I exhaled.

The movement of his steps were soothing and I dozed off in his arms. I tensed as he put me on another bed but he merely shushed me and stroked my hair.

"Lay with me?" I murmured and he crawled into the blankets next to me. It was quiet for a while but I just laid with my eyes closed, Draco's warm heat comforting and secure.

Finally, the words I knew were coming came out. "What happened in there?"

I sighed, "I heard them while I was sleeping, and they were in the room when I woke up. They approached me with a potion vial and I tried to escape. You came soon after."

He seemed to hesitate and I sighed, "if you're wondering about what happened to the man, I believe my magic was suffocating him. No, it wasn't intentional but it got the job done. I wanted him to get off of me because he was pinning me down and my magic must have reacted."

"You didn't do it on purpose?"

"No."

"Draco."

Draco lifted his head and I peeked over his shoulder at Lucius standing in the doorway.

"Father," Draco greeted evenly and I nodded at him.

"The two aurors have been removed from the premises. They are being tested for potions or any signs of bewitching."

"They were aurors?" I questioned.

"Yes, they were here to question you and we were waiting for you to awaken. It was ministry orders and therefore we couldn't halt them."

"Question me? About what?"

Draco and Lucius shared a look. I felt a twinge of fear that there was something I was supposed to know that I was being left out of.

"I can answer that," another man appeared beside Lucius and he gave me a wonderful smile.

"My name is Kingsley Shacklebolt, I am an auror here on orders by the Ministry of Magic." Draco pulled me into a sitting position, "you are one Harli Jay Porter?"

"Malfoy," I corrected and the man chuckled.

"Yes, of course, Miss Malfoy. I have a few questions to ask of you. May I enter the room?"

"Actually, could we do this elsewhere? I feel trapped." I answered nervously.

If they were surprised by my request they didn't show it.

Draco helped me into the drawing room and into a chair. Shacklebolt sat in another chair a distance away from me. Two more aurors entered the room and I took a deep breath and gripped Draco's hand but Shacklebolt merely waved them away and they stood outside the door. Lucius and Narcissa came in the room as well and stood off to the side.

I was surprised to see Severus enter the room and he held out a vial of Veritaserum. I stuck my tongue out unconsciously and he dripped two drops on my tongue.

I turned back to Kingsley and he became serious.

"State your name."

"Harli Jay Malfoy."

"Your age?"

"15."

"Think back Miss Malfoy. What do you remember about the date of December 13th?"

"December 13th sir? I don't even know today's date."

"Today is December 15th." Shacklebolt answered calmly.

I paused in shock. I missed a whole day? I thought back and frowned. I remembered being at Hogwarts but I didn't remember anything specific.

"I'm not sure what I remember about the thirteenth of December, sir."

"Yes, of course." He turned to Draco and the blonde faced him head on.

"State your name."

"Draco Lucius Malfoy."

Shacklebolt's eyes flickered to Severus and then back to Draco, "you have been administered Veritaserum according to the Ministry's interview standards?"

"Yes," Draco responded cordially.

"How old are you Mister Malfoy?"

"Fifteen, sir."

"Mister Malfoy, please inform me of the events that occurred on December 13th regarding the incident involving one Harli Jay Malfoy."

Draco cleared his throat and my stomach dropped, "it was the morning of December 13th, we were in the Great Hall eating breakfast. We were-"

"We?" Shacklebolt intercepted.

"Harli and I," Draco continued, "the post had just come and Harli received a treacle tart from Molly Weasley."

I saw Narcissa shift from the corner of my eye.

"Harli was about to leave for Transfiguration when another post owl came."

I felt the feeling of dread come back to me. I looked down at my hand and I saw a nick on my finger. Draco was still talking.

Red hair. Green eyes. Red hair. Green eyes. Horrified. I inhaled.

"...inside the box, there was a bib..."

I pushed myself off of the couch. It didn't feel like my body was moving on its own.

The owl. The package. The bib. The head. I Love My Mommy.

"Harli?"

I covered my mouth. I tried to breathe normally but I felt sick. Dizzy.

I took in a breath and I must have swayed because there were hands on me. I smacked them away and tried to go to the fireplace. I knew her floo channel. I memorized it in case I needed her to talk to. I needed to make sure.

There were more hands on me and I screamed. It echoed in my head.

"No! I have to be sure! Let me call!"

Rebecca Farth. Becca, she told me I could call her that. It wasn't possible.

I remembered seeing it in the Daily Prophet. There had been a mind healer that had been missing for weeks. I remembered.

Somehow, I ended up on the floor and they were holding me down. I shouted and I'm sure I tried to bite someone. Draco was leaning over me with Severus and I felt the potion on my tongue before I could close my mouth. I started to choke and they sat me up and patted my back. It was a calming draught and immediately I felt it. My heart rate slowed and they brought me back to the settee. I shivered as Draco's arms wrapped around me. I looked blearily around the room and the two aurors were standing by the fireplace now. Severus was by the door and Lucius and Narcissa were behind the settee. Narcissa had her hand on my shoulder, I could feel it.

"Miss Malfoy," I tried to focus my attention back on Kingsley Shacklebolt and his face had become stoney, "have you remembered something?"

"T-there was a package," I looked around wide eyed, "it came and just wanted to open it. It was so pretty." I closed my eyes tight. "I-I opened it, there was a bib. It was soft and white and I liked it. And then I took the gift wrapping off. And in there-" I clutched Draco as the sight came back to me.

"What was in the box?" Kingsley demanded and I shook my head. "You must tell me!"

"Auror! You have your answers!" Lucius retaliated.

"Shut up!" I screamed and the windows trembled under the weight of my magic.

The room went silent and I took in a shuddered breath, "there was a head in the box. A s-severed head. It was a woman I knew, Rebecca Farth, she was my mind healer." I choked out a sob, "she was so kind and she had children. Is it my fault she's dead?"

"No, my dear, no. We are still investigating the cause of her death and who killed her," Shacklebolt responded and I nodded.

"Severus Snape, you analyzed the package?" He questioned.

"The box had a compulsion charm, a very strong one," Severus responded in that irritating drawl of his.

"Am I done here?" I asked and Shacklebolt nodded hesitantly.

"I will return if I have anymore questions."

I stood up and pulled away from Draco. I exited the drawing room and I couldn't help the tears that escaped my eyes. I didn't want to remember, I forgot for a reason, why did they make me relive that?

I felt Draco's presence beside me and I shooed his hands away when he tried to help me. I used the wall as support and his hands were there as safety. My hips screamed at me as I stepped up the grand staircase. I had an iron grip on the banister and my steps were slow. Finally, I held onto Draco's arm as we walked down the long hallway.

He brought me back to the room I was attacked in and I shook my head. I didn't feel safe there. He nodded in understanding and helped me back to his original room and I stripped down to my underwear and crawled into the bed. I curled up under the duvet and soon after, Draco's weight entered the bed. His arms wrapped around me, one hand rested under my stomach and the other pillowed my head. I turned over in his grasp and he held me while I wept.

* * *

 I called Becca's personal floo and her husband answered. He said she talked about me a lot during the school year and over the summer and she went missing soon after. I held back my tears as he introduced me to their children. I thanked him and promised myself I would never call again.

Healer Cordelia was going to do daily home visits to ensure the safety and health of myself and the baby.

"You are still lacking in vital nutrients," she tisked and it reminded me of Madame Pomfrey, "you are eating proper portions and taking your potions?"

"Yes, I'm taking a potion twice a day after breakfast and dinner just as you've asked." I responded softly.

I was put on bedrest because of the high risk for early labor.

"Your stress levels are very high," she said lightly, "your baby's heart rate is accelerated due to that. Try to relax during this break alright?"

I nodded solemnly and she sighed, "I want you to add another dosage of the nutrient potion. Take it at breakfast, eat a good lunch and take it and then after dinner like before, alright?" I nodded and she patted my hair, "good girl. I'll return tomorrow for you."

I watched her leave and I wondered if she would be the next one to be taken from my life so brutally.

I went back to my old room across from Draco's and I banned him from sleeping with me because I was screaming myself awake every night. I leaned back against the pillows supporting my back and stared at the wall. It was quiet. I looked at my fingers and frowned, I lost more weight. It was becoming dangerous since I wasn't holding down food and Healer Cordelia informed me that if I continued to deteriorate, she would have no choice to but to admit me to St. Mungos for the remainder of the pregnancy.

I heard the door open and Draco walked in. He was crisply dressed as always as if he were heading out to a fancy dinner even though we were merely lounging around the house for the day. I didn't even bother trying to smile at him because he always frowned at the fakeness of it. He sat on the edge of the bed and brought his hand to my face. He rubbed his thumb across my cheek and I closed my eyes and leaned into his hand.

"This pregnancy is killing you," he said softly and I smiled, a real one.

"I know," I responded lightly and opened my eyes to look at him.

"You've gotten thinner," his smile disappeared and I shook my head and put my hand over his.

"It's fine, Healer Cordelia said I'm getting close to the danger line but I don't have to go in yet," I responded, "I've been taking care of myself, my body just hasn't been taking care of me."

"How long are you planning on isolating yourself in this lonely room? It's been a week already." He asked. I laid my head back and sighed. It was hard but I preferred to keep the screams of my night terrors to myself.

"Christmas is coming so soon," I frowned miserably, "I wanted to go shopping but I'm confined to this bed."

The next words that came from Draco surprised me, "would you like to go right now?"

I looked at him in shock but I didn't dare get my hopes up, "really?"

He nodded, "mother has been dying to get out of the house but she's worried about you. She would love to go and you look like you could use the sunlight."

It was true. My body was absorbing the nutrients so quickly, it was sucking all of the vitamins out of my skin and hair. I was sickly pale and my hair was dry and brittle. "I want to go."

"I'll go let her know," he went to stand but I grabbed his hand.

"Will you help me into the bathroom? I want to clean up first."

He nodded and I tossed the sheets from my body. My stomach stretched out from me like a tumor and it looked strange underneath my dressing gown. Draco stood and I brought my legs over the side of the bed. Getting up was usually difficult and painful but I was able to walk on my own. Recently, even walking had become agony on my hips and I called Tippy in secrecy to help me to the bathroom so that I didn't worry the other occupants of the manor.

Draco held me by my waist and my arm and helped me walk into the bathroom. He tried to get me to sit on the toilet while he ran water but I told him that if I sat, I wouldn't be getting up again.

I leaned against the sink to alleviate some of the pressure on my legs and he let the water run.

"Tippy!"

The little elf popped into the bathroom and she quivered under Draco's stare, "inform my mother to get ready to go out."

"Of course, Young Master Malfoy." Tippy popped away and Draco came over to me. He touched my hips and turned me around so that I was faced to the mirror. I had been actively avoiding looking at myself because I knew I looked bad but my glamours must had fizzled away in my exhaustion. My skin was really pale, almost gray, I could make out the veins that webbed underneath the surface, my cheeks were sunken in and my eyes were huge.

I couldn't look anymore and I turned my head but Draco gripped my chin and made me look back.

"No," a whine escaped from my throat and he kissed my cheek.

"Your magic is being sapped by this child and you aren't able to keep up your glamours. Take them off." He demanded quietly.

"You know I can't do that," I stared at him in the mirror and he shook his head.

"It's killing you to keep them up. You're using magic you don't have and it will be bad if you start losing magic from your core."

"I can't!" I cried, "the reminders, the scars, they are too painful! I need the glamours, they are what make me, me."

He wrapped his arms around me, "I'm sorry, I know it's hard but it's not just about you anymore. You have to think about this child inside of you now. The glamours aren't helping anything and the weaker you are trying to keep them up, the less you have to provide to the growth of our child."

I had never heard something so mature come out of Draco's mouth but he was right and it hit a sore spot in me. I nodded finally and he handed me my wand, where he retrieved it from only Merlin knows, and I painstakingly disassembled every charm I cast upon myself.

Draco pulled my gown over my head and this was my first time being completely naked in front of him. The scars slowly appeared and the pallor of my skin became worse. My hair had grown so much, I didn't need that glamour charm anymore. My chest was flat and my ribs were visible but my stomach was still huge against my small frame.

Shiny scars from burns of cigarettes and candle heads still littered my skin and darkened fingernail prints and whip lashes became visible also. I could still faintly see the traces of the collar I once wore on my throat and the chafe marks it left behind. I gasped and covered my mouth as I watched it all unfold. There was a reason I didn't look in the mirror while I did it. Scars from a knife littered my skin everywhere and none of my limbs were blemish free.

I looked like Harry Potter again. Wide green eyes that have seen too many things, brittle black hair that couldn't handle the stress my body was under, pale skin that hadn't seen much sun, and a thin body that had suffered more things than it should have.

Draco's eyes roamed over my body and I didn't try to cover up or hide. He put his hands on my shoulders and I realized they were tense. I slowly relaxed in his grip and his hands came down to circle around my stomach. He rubbed soothing circles on my abdomen and his hands lowered slowly, so tantalizingly slow, down to my hips and I turned to putty in his hands as he massaged the pain out of my hips.

"Are you using magic?" I moaned and he chuckled.

"No, but I'm glad you feel better," his hands left my hips and he led me over to the water that had filled itself and stopped. I sunk into the warm water and I nearly cried at how good it felt. It had been a while since I last had a bath. It was mostly showers at Hogwarts and it's been a wipe down with a warm flannel for the last week.

Draco knelt down next to me and ran his fingers through my hair and he tisked. "Your hair is filthy."

"I know," I sighed, "I'm filthy."

"Wet your hair, I'll wash it for you."

I dipped under the water and came back up quickly. He was ready with shampoo and lathered up my hair. It took a few times and the water turned murky from the dirt that had compiled on my head but it cleared up with a simple spell.

My hair was soft and clean and it made me a bit happy.

"Hey Draco," my heart raced a bit faster when he looked at me, "join me?"

He paused for a moment and our eyes locked for a stretch of time. I was surprised when he merely squeezed the water out of my wet hair, "not this time."

"What, why?"

He chuckled, "you're not ready. You can't see the panic like I can."

I grumbled, "but I asked you."

He kissed me, "next time, most definitely." He pulled the plug on the water and helped me from the tub.

I limped back into the bedroom and there were clothes waiting for me. I grabbed the dress and slipped it over my head since stepping into it would not happen.

I brushed my fingers through my wet hair and sat on the bed as Draco came out.

"Mother owl ordered you new shoes from the catalogue. They're apparently charmed to help reduce ankle swelling." He picked up the shoes from beside the bed and knelt down to slip them on my feet. It felt like I slid my feet into butter and I shivered in delight. He slipped a thick coat onto my arms and helped me off the bed.

I winced at the pain in my hips but my feet felt like they had been relieved of the pressure of my body.

"Will it really be fine? Healer Cordelia put me on bed rest."

"You can barely stand on your own, we're not going to have you walk on your own around Paris."

"We're going to Paris?"

"Of course. Only the best fashion can be found around Paris. There is an area accessible only by magical beings there were you can freely use magic. Except us, of course."

Draco pulled out his wand and cast a spell I hadn't heard of before.

He grabbed onto him as I hovered just above the floor, "w-what are you doing?"

He held me steady and nodded, "yes, this will do." He waved his wand again and I straightened out and he grabbed my hand. "You're going to have to relax. The tension in your body will make you sore. I'm not going to let you fly away or fall so just trust me."

"Is this fine? I thought we weren't allowed to use magic outside of school."

"I have permission from Mother to use magic inside the manor," he responded and pulled me out of the room by hand. I was floating just above the ground so it was like walking next to him but there was no pain on my hips.

We went down the stairs and met Narcissa in the drawing room.

"Good afternoon darlings," Narcissa came to me a kissed my cheek. She kissed Draco right after.

She glanced over me and shook her head, "the idea is smart but this is no good Draco. She will be bumped around and any jostling won't be good for the baby."

She cast another spell and a bubble formed around me before it disappeared, "how's that?

"Are you sure it's fine for us to go out like this?" I questioned.

"Of course darling, you aren't walking around and you could use the sun. It's cruel to keep you locked away in here."

"Thank you," I smiled.

She stepped into the fireplace and called out the destination.

* * *

 Lucius was waiting for us when we returned from the shopping centre.

I had so much fun and it was really funny to see people bounce off my invisible bubble. But people looked at me to strangely when they noticed I was floating around and very heavily pregnant even though I still had three months until my due date.

"You are supposed to be on bed rest," Lucius commented, "Narcissa, why did you allow this?"

"Dear, it was torture to have her stay locked away in that room," Narcissa shrunk away as Lucius turned his glare onto her, "it is her child, it's only fair that she have input on the things we buy for that child."

Lucius stood and put down the newspaper he was holding under his arm, "you are not to go out for the duration of this pregnancy, am I clear?"

I held Draco's hand tightly as I nodded and held back tears, "yes father, I understand."

He nodded and turned on his heel and left the drawing room.

Draco grabbed the paper as Lucius left the room and he read it aloud:

"It has been months since we have seen the figure of the pregnant addition to the Malfoy family. She was seen in the wizarding shopping center of Paris earlier today in the company of her alleged significant other, Draco Malfoy, and his mother, Narcissa Malfoy. As proven by the image above, she was seen floating about and people around her were repelled from touching her by an invisible bubble. Our readers wonder why she is being hidden away and why she was allowed out today of all days. Why was she in a bubble where no one, not even her alleged lover could touch her? Are the Malfoys abusing the poor girl? Witnesses say the mystery witch looked the happiest ever had in her entire life. Lucius Malfoy did not accompany his family in their outing, is he keeping her locked away while his wife and son look on? Did they sneak her out of Malfoy Manor and have to return her before the Malfoy patriarch returned home? The Malfoy family was unable to be reached for comment and our reporter on scene was turned away immediately."

Draco clenched the paper tightly and I touched his hand, "I can understand why father was upset now. He tries so hard to protect us and then the papers put out slander like this."

"Will I be able to return to Hogwarts after the break?" I asked even though I knew the answer.

"I don't think so darling, it just isn't feasible." Narcissa denied. "It's a shame you have to miss so much schooling but Severus offered to tutor you here."

I groaned, "lessons from hell with Severus Snape until March? I'd rather stand all day."

"He just might make you if he hears you talking like that," Narcissa giggled. "Now, go on, dinner will be ready in an hour. Tomorrow, decorations will be put up."

Today was December 22nd already. Even though I had just bought all of my Christmas gifts, I still hadn't realized just how close it was.

I smiled at Draco and he smiled back at me.

Dinner was a quiet affair, as it always was, but our sit in the parlor was moreso. We mainly sat in silence. Lucius sipped up tea, Narcissa toyed with the ends of her hair, Draco played with my fingers and I rubbed my stomach.

"Are you feeling alright dear?" Narcissa finally broke the silence.

"Yes I'm fine," I smiled, "the baby stretched out and their feet are pressing against my spine. It's just a bit uncomfortable."

"You will have to decide soon where you would like to have the child. Whether here or a St. Mungos, it doesn't matter but preparations will have to be made." Lucius interjected. "And time is running out."

"I can make that kind of choice?" I asked surprised.

"Of course dear," Narcissa smiled, "there's more privacy here and you will have the best doctors of course, but if you are more comfortable at St. Mungos then that if fine as well."

I went silence to think and I felt pressured by their lasting gazes, "I'm not sure what I want to do yet, but I'll decide soon."

Lucius didn't seem satisfied by that but he nodded anyway. It only took a few more minutes for Lucius to retire and Narcissa followed of course.

Draco went to stand but I held him back. "What's the matter?" He asked.

"I just want to stay here for a little while more," I frowned and a small smile touched his lips. I snuggled into his side and his hand came to rest on my stomach.

"Are you feeling anxious?" He asked.

"Yes. I know we have to tell your parents soon but I just don't want to be hated. I wonder how they will react."

"It's a meaningless worry now, my love. We will deal with it when we arrive at that point."

"When will that be?" I questioned, my eyes getting heavy as Draco rubbed soothing circles on my stomach.

"When would you like it to be?" His voice was quietly disappearing from my conscious.

"Soon, before the baby comes. They... deserve... to know..."

Those were the last words I remember coming out of my mouth. I vaguely remember Draco lifting me and him dropping me off on our bed, and I reached for him when he didn't get back in the bed after a while but he was there, freshly smelling of soap and the shampoo I love that he uses. He wrapped me up in his arms and the night was over.

* * *

 Lucius was home for the next few days and it was so strange actually seeing the man there so often. We put up the decorations the next day and I was actually able to help because of the levicorpus charm.

Narcissa said she usually put the decorations up with magic but I was having so much fun putting them up manually, she let me be.

I didn't want it to happen but somehow it slipped out that I had never been able to do this at my own home because of my abusive relatives and Narcissa asked me about it but I told her I wasn't ready and it was a story for another time. It was Christmas, there was no reason to ruin it with my sob story.

We all went to bed early that night.

Draco's hair had gotten longer and I liked to twirl the ends in my fingers as I fell asleep. That night however, I couldn't fall asleep. Draco hummed to me until he dropped off and I just continued to play with his hair quietly. I never usually got to see him sleep as nowadays he was asleep after me and up well before me so I enjoyed the peaceful moment.

I felt movement inside and I smiled. Although a child is not what I wanted out of this, I don't think I will regret having it, whatever it is. I wi sh I could tell Draco that.

"Go to sleep," I flinched at Draco's voice and I looked at him in surprise.

"How long have you been awake? You scared me."

"I never went to sleep," he rubbed my bulging stomach.

"Oh." My answer was simple and we fell into another silence.

"Can't sleep?" He asked softly and I shook my head.

"I have so much anxiety for some reason."

"Was it because of what happened today?" He shifted and pulled me closer.

"Perhaps," I nodded, "I was worried she would be upset that I didn't say anything about it. Thinking about what they did to me though, I have nightmares about returning to that place."

"Do you think you will be able to tell them?" He ran his fingers through my hair.

"I do, but it's what comes after that I'm worried about."

"I will be beside you the entire time," he sighed, "my parents are harsh people at times but you make me happy and they wouldn't dare take that away from me. No matter who you turn out to be."

"Do you think..." I paused with a bite to my lip and he tilted my chin upward toward him. I took another breath, "this will be your heir, the next name of the Malfoy family, would they take the child from me and send me away then?"

"No!" His voice was loud and I trembled. He inhaled sharply and tried again, "no, my parents wouldn't do something like that to you. This is your child, you carried it all this time and they have no right to take that away from you. They would never. I wouldn't allow it."

I laughed lightly as my eyes slipped closed, "what a cocky bastard you are."

"What can I say?" I could hear the smirk in his voice.

He must have noticed I was dropping off and began to hum again.

I was asleep before the first verse was over.

* * *

 Christmas Eve passed in relative silence. Snape came over in the early hours of the morning and I made it a priority to make my presence scarce from his view.

I remained in bed through breakfast and I couldn't bring up the appetite to eat lunch which in turn caused me the throw up the nutrient potion the moment I took it.

"You barely touched your food last night and you skipped breakfast this morning. This is the fourth day you've been unable to keep food or your potions down."

I rolled my eyes as I laid my head on the toilet seat, and I couldn't care less whose arse had been there last. "Thank you for pointing out the obvious love." I rasped flatly.

"I'm going to call Healer Cordelia."

"No!" I grabbed his pant leg and shook my head, "no, she'll take me in if that happens and I don't want to miss Christmas here. Please Draco, it's my first Christmas as a Malfoy, I want to enjoy it, please?"

He knelt down beside me and sighed, "what am I going to do with you? Your life is in danger at this point, you know?"

"I swear to you, I will go in after Boxing Day, I swear it to you. I will stay at St. Mungo's until I explode just please, don't say a word. I'll try to eat as much as I can, I'll do everything you say, I swear it."

He frowned at me and I thought I might have to get upset but he sighed again, "okay. Have you finished?"

I took a few deep breaths and nodded, "yes, my stomach isn't turning anymore."

"Come on then," he hoisted me up and helped me to the sink so that I could rinse out my mouth and then he put me in the bed. "You stay in this bed for the rest of today and I won't say a word."

"You promise?"

"I swear it."

"What about the presents?" I ushered to the bag beside the wardrobe.

"I'll put them under the tree for you." The Malfoy Christmas tree was about 3 metres high, the biggest I'd ever seen. It actually made me cry and I blamed hormones. Bloody hormones.

"Okay. Will you be back soon?"

He kissed my forehead, "I am going to go chat with Severus for a bit and then I will return. Do you feel like trying anything? I'll get you whatever you're hungry for."

"Pickle juice."

He seemed taken aback and in the back of my mind I knew I should have been disgusted as well. "Did you say you want pickle juice?"

"Didn't you hear me the first time Draco? I want it, also can you bring me an onion? Just a whole onion. Please don't cut it, I want to bite it."

He seemed to get a bit green and I wanted to laugh. "Okay, I'll bring that for you.. err anything else?"

"Just you," I smiled sweetly and he chuckled.

"Yes well, hopefully I am better than pickle juice and onions."

"I dunno, my craving for that right now is taking the cake since you're leaving me." He tisked and I laughed, "there's no need to rush, I'm going to sleep some more and you can bring it when you come back."

He nodded and I tucked myself under the blankets as he left.

"Harli," I jolted as a hand touched my shoulder and I was brought back to consciousness.

"Whaddya wan'?" I moaned and turned over.

"You were screaming, I thought someone was killing you."

"Mmm, was having a nightmare."

"What about?"

"...on't remember." I couldn't tell him yet. Not yet.

I felt the bed dip and he brushed his hand through my hair. "I bought what you asked for, are you still craving it?"

"The pickle juice and onion? Yes, I think I was dreaming about it."

"If I wanted to eat something as horrific as that, I'd have nightmares as well."

I laughed as I sat up and he leaned forward to kiss me. "I might as well kiss you now before you decide to eat this Merlin awful concoction."

"You're awful," I smiled and returned his kiss, "now, get out of my way so that I can eat my Merlin awful concoction."

He placed the tray with a single peeled onion and a tall glass of pickle juice on my lap and I grinned as I picked up the onion, "how was your talk with Sev?"

"I rather enjoyed it, we spoke about some things, including your tutoring after the baby is born. We decided that Sev will tutor you once a week in Potions, Defense, and Charms. Father will teach you the rest until you are ready to return to Hogwarts."

"Okay." I nodded as I took a bite from the onion, "did you get permission to return home in the evenings?"

"Not yet." He shook his head and I took a large drink of the pickle juice.

"I hope they let you. If they don't, I'm coming back to Hogwarts when the break is over."

"You know you're on bedrest for the duration of the pregnancy right?"

"Exactly, so they better allow you to return home during the evenings or I can't guarantee I'll do as they say." I shrugged as I took another bite from the onion like an apple.

"Is it good?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, I didn't even know I liked onions like this. Want some?" I held it out to him and he shook his head vehemently.

"No, I'm alright. You just enjoy it." I shrugged again as I took another drink of the pickle juice before I peeled away some of the smaller layers and dropped them in the glass and took another drink. I smiled and took another bite.

Draco called for Tippy to take the tray away as I finished and disappeared into the bathroom. I listened to him rummage around before I heard the water start running. He came out with his shirt off and I stared unabashedly at his naked torso. I almost forgot we were halfway to sixteen and I blushed as I looked away.

I heard him laugh and he came over to the bed. "Ready?"

I nodded and threw the covers off but I stopped him as he tried to reach for me. "No, I can do it myself."

He seemed like he wanted to argue but I just swung my legs over the side of the bed and braced myself. I couldn't even get up and it almost brought me to tears as I began to put pressure on my ankles. He ended up helping me to my feet and followed closely behind me as I walked on my own into the bathroom, every step like a knife through my hips and ankles.

I gripped the sink and took a breath. I didn't need the mirror to know I still looked like a disfigured alien with a stomach twice the size of my head, while the rest of my body was thin and bony.

"Are you alright?" Draco asked from behind me.

"Yeah, just a bit of pain in my hips." Everything from my hips down was on fire, truthfully.

I was able to let go of the sink to remove my dressing gown and I allowed Draco to help me over to the bathtub. I stepped into the soothing water and I was pleasantly surprised when he removed only his pants and stepped into the bathtub as well with his boxer briefs on.

I smiled and leaned into his side, "I didn't think this day would come so soon."

He put his arm around my shoulders, "I told you next time didn't I?"

"You did," I hummed. The occasional quiet shifting of the water nearly put me to sleep again and I might have dozed off a bit because I jolted when Draco moved and began to wash my body. I laughed when he got to my feet and I was grateful when he allowed me to wash my more private areas. He got out first and then helped me get out and get dressed.

"Is it really Christmas Eve?" I asked as I rubbed my stomach. The days passed by so quickly.

"It is. Are you excited for tomorrow?" He asked. I could tell he was excited.

"I am. It's my first real Christmas with an actual family."

He came to sit next to me on the bed, "first real one?"

"Ron and Hermione," Draco twitched at the redhead's name, "I spent Christmas until my third year with them but this is different. They were my friends, but you, you are my family now and I am more than grateful for that. I want to enjoy this Christmas to the fullest. I wasn't able to have a proper Christmas last year because ai was in the hospital ward at this time"

He nodded with a small smile and I wrapped my arms around him.

* * *

  _"_ _Happy Christmas Harli," I smiled as I woke up and I felt a kiss on my cheek._

_"Happy Christmas."_

_"Are you ready to wake up?"_

_I stretched and opened my eyes and gasped in horror._

_I was inside the cupboard I had grown up in. I tried to scoot away but my back hit the wall and the space only seemed to close in on me._

_I looked at the little window and Draco smiled at me from the other side of the tiny door._

_"Draco, Draco please, why am I here? What is happening?"_

_"What do you mean Harry?" I flinched at that name, "this is where you belong isn't it?"_

_"No! Draco, no! Please! Let me out, please!" He turned his back to me and I watched him go to his family and pile of presents just as I had to watch happen for years with the Dursleys. "Draco! Draco!!"_

"Harli, wake up."

Draco was leaning over me, his face contorted into deep worry. "You were calling me." He wiped the tears I could feel on my face, "what were you dreaming about?"

"You," I buried my face back into the pillow, "you locked me away and left me."

"It was just a dream," he soothed as he laid back down, "I wouldn't do that to you."

"I'm sorry for waking you," I mumbled as sleep came back to me, "it was just your face in a bad memory."

I got up to pee a few hours later and couldn't go back to sleep. It was nearly six in the morning and I waddled out of the room and down the halls. I hoped Draco wouldn't freak out too much when he realized I was missing.

I struggled down the stairs and made it to the parlour finally and my bones felt like they were made of acid.

I was startled to see Severus inside, drinking tea. "Oh!"

He glanced over at me and I heard his disgusted scoff as he put his tea down. "Sorry Professor." I turned to walk away, preferably toward the drawing room or the dining room.

"Don't be daft, you can sit in here." I stepped into the room cautiously and sat down on the seat furthest from him.

He waved his wand as he picked up the newspaper again and a cup and teapot floated in and poured tea for me for sitting itself right in front of me. I lifted the cup to my lips and savored the sharp scent of peppermint.

"I didn't know you drank peppermint tea," I said quietly.

"Were you entitled to that tidbit of information?" He inquired dryly.

"I suppose not."

We fell into another uncomfortable bit of silence before I cleared my throat and took a sip from my cup. "H-Happy Christmas Professor."

He lowered his newspaper to glance at me with a raised eyebrow before he raised it back up and snorted.

That was the best response I would get from the dour man and I appreciated it. Sometimes I wondered if he knew who I was. He surely treated me like he did. I wonder if Draco told anyone. No, I would have been ousted by now if he had.

I sighed and leaned back to close my eyes. It was still early. After tomorrow, I would be sent to St. Mungos until I have this baby and after that, who knew? Would I go back to Hogwarts? Would I be confined to this manor until the child was old enough to go to school? What would I do then?

"Harli," it was a quiet whisper and I opened my eyes.

"Hmm?" My eyelids were heavy, I must have fallen asleep.

"Good morning, Happy Christmas my love." I felt his lips press against mine and I smiled.

"Happy Christmas Draco," I cracked an eye open just to make sure I hadn't been locked away in a cupboard. I brought my arms up and returned his kiss.

"I was worried when I woke and you were gone from the room." He muttered between kisses.

"I'm sorry. The anxiety forced me to my feet and I didn't want to wake you."

There was a quiet cough from the doorway and Narcissa stood there smiling. "Go wash up children. We will be opening your gifts soon."

Draco took me into the washroom near the parlour where we washed our hands and faces and he conjured our toothbrushes.

Bleary eyed, I followed him into the large living area where Severus, Lucius, and Narcissa were waiting. My eyes widened at the multitude of multicolored boxes of different shapes and sizes that laid beautifully underneath the tree.

Draco squeezed my hand when I stopped walking and I waddled on beside him. We took our seats and Narcissa smiled.

"Draco, would you like to do the honors this year?"

Draco nodded and waved his wand. A few presents lifted up and danced around us before they settled with their respective owners.

The box for me landed on my lap and I took it into my hands and I stared at it, and then at Draco who was giving me the kindest smile. I looked at the tag and the gift was from Lucius and Narcissa. I didn't think my eyes could get any wider. I glanced at her and then him as well and he merely took a sip of his tea and nodded to me.

I tore off the paper with shaky fingers, almost expecting it to be taken from me at any moment. When nothing happened, I removed the lid from the small, flat box and my breath caught in my throat.

It was a certificate. Bound by magic proof of my association with the Malfoy family. Across the top was my name, Harli Jay Malfoy, and then there was my birthdate, eye color, hair color, and words that explained that I was fully adopted into this family, that I was their child now.

I touched it gently and tears filled my eyes. It meant the world to me.

"Thank you," I whispered, my voice thick with tears.

Draco started to hand out presents to everyone then. The majority of them came to me and I opened them with appreciation for every single one of them. I was surprised when I received a present from Severus and a few from Lucius as well. The potions professor gave me a book on toxic poisons and harmful potions and their antidotes with a note inside scribed in his elegant scrawl.

In case you want to get back at those who wronged you.

I chuckled, "thank you professor."

I had gotten him a few rare ingredients I found in Paris and it was interesting to see his eyes light up like, well, a child on Christmas. He nodded his head to me in gratitude and I felt a bit smug at the fact that I'd done a good thing for this man despite how he's treated me in the past.

I gave Narcissa a beautiful package of fragrances I found in the catalogue as well as lotions and spritzers. Lucius received a new snake head for his cane, a moving one that wrapped around his hand as he held it. I tried so hard to ignore its voice as it hissed around when I bought it. Narcissa helped me pick a pendant for Draco that could be connected to the one she gave me so that I could call for him if I was in trouble.

I didn't condone Lucius' collection of illegal dark, magical objects but I was able to find a few rare and expensive dark objects in Paris that I gifted to him. He was my father now after all. He nodded to me in gratitude and I was satisfied with that.

Narcissa gifted me with many articles of clothing, dresses, and cloaks. "Some of them won't fit you now dear but you won't be pregnant forever," she smiled.

I received a large book from Lucius and Narcissa titled Photo Album. I opened it a large smile took over my face. It was photos of Draco when he was a baby and through his toddler years. I turned through the pages and Draco came to sit next to me as I turned through the pages.

It was nice to see the blush come upon his face as I laughed at some of the images, such as when he stuffed his face with cake around his fourth or fifth birthday. The one when Narcissa wanted to try him in a dress. I touched the one of him sleeping in a bassinet, and the one of Narcissa holding him closely. It pulled at my heartstrings. I leaned into him and smiled.

"I want this child to look just like you," I whispered. He kissed my temple and I continued to flip through the pages.

"Dear, don't you want to open the rest of the presents?" I heard Narcissa's voice.

I looked at the tree and blinked. There was still a pile of presents under the tree and I looked around. Everyone had received their gifts and opened them and I tilted my head in confusion. "All of them?"

"Yes well," she smiled as she flicked her wand and the gifts began to dance around, "they are for you to open but they are not for you."

I was confused as one landed in my lap and I tore into it. I lifted the lid from the box and smiled at the contents.

It was a little onesie. Plain and pure white, soft as a kitten. The rest of the boxes contents were similar. Onesies of different colors but unisex for the most part, dummies, rattles and various other toys. Teething rings, pajamas, little booties, those really made me tear up, and bottles.

I couldn't stop smiling but my fun was ruined by one of the last boxes I opened. There was a bib inside, a pure white bib and I don't know what the letters said but I saw the horrifying bib that was in the box with the head of my mind healer. A strangled scream left my throat and I tossed the box and the bib away from me. In a burst of strength I didn't know I had, I bolted from the room and into the nearest bathroom to vomit the nothing I had inside of me.

I was in the middle of washing my mouth when Draco entered the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine now. I just, it was that stupid bib. That's all I can see in my head."

"It was a traumatic thing, it's understandable any trigger would set you off."

I glanced at him with a smile. "You've become very wise recently."

"Seeing you here, pregnant with my child, it has given me a sense of reality. I was very focused on remaining a child but I realized that is no longer an option now that we are going to have one." He pulled me closer and kissed me. "We're going to get through this. Don't worry."

We walked back out to the living room and they were still sitting there. They were chatting together about something and Narcissa smiled when she saw me. "Darling, I've put all of the things into the nursery and I've unpacked the rest of your things for you."

"Thank you," I smiled and she stood. "Well, let's go on and have breakfast now."

As we sat down at the table, I realized that I still wasn't hungry. There was a large spread of food on the table and I felt guilty as everyone began to eat, I had not. I tried to nibble on a piece of toast but my stomach wasn't having it. I laid my toast down and sat in silence with my hands in my lap.

I felt Narcissa's eyes on me and I bit my lip. Draco gripped my hand under the table and I squeezed it back. I rubbed my stomach soothingly as the baby wriggled uncomfortably inside of me. I got a kick to the bladder and I quietly excused myself.

I relieved myself and sat in the bathroom for a while, unable to bring myself back to the dining room. I crawled up the stairs after I had enough of the hard porcelain seat and waddled into the new room where the nursery was located. I glanced at the bed where I had been attacked and shivered. I entered the nursery and smiled at the crib and opened the drawers of the dresser where the clothes were. A mountain of teddy bears sat in the corner of the crib and I smiled at the Emerald Green stuffed dragon that sat blaringly bright in front of them all. I reached over and picked it up, cradling it gently as I sat in the rocking chair.

I recognized it as the one that Draco had when he was younger. I smiled and rocked back and forth in the chair until I fell asleep.

I was dreaming of so many things, things I couldn't comprehend. The bib, the head, the drugs, the needles, the blood, blonde hair, grey matter, a child, a bald man, the images fluttered across my consciousness. I felt conscious but although I knew I was sleeping, I couldn't wake up. I saw a face, one I knew but couldn't place where I had seen it before.

"Harli!"

I shuddered as I woke, the images disappearing as I did and then I couldn't remember what I had been dreaming about. I tried to focus on waking up and I was then able to see Draco kneeling in front of me. I rubbed my eyes, "oh, I fell asleep."

"I was so worried. We couldn't find you." His voice was trembling and I felt terrible.

"I'm sorry, Draco. I felt awkward at the table and I just came upstairs to walk off my anxiety. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I should have told you where I was going."

He hugged me tightly and I hugged him back. "Don't scare me like that."

"Did you think I went somewhere?" I laughed breathlessly.

"No, I thought something happened to you and you couldn't answer me."

"I'm okay Draco, I promise." I kissed his cheeks and he ran his hand through his hair. I was able to get a good look at his face and he was flushed, his eyes wide as they roamed over my person for any visible injuries.

"Okay," he nodded, more to himself it seemed like, "okay. Come, mother is looking for us."

He held my hand and I waddled beside him slowly. His palm was sweaty and I wondered what was really going through his mind. We were inside Malfoy Manor, the most elegant fortress, what did he think would happen?

I paused at a twinge in my hip and he looked back at me.

"Sorry," I grinned, "it hurts a bit to walk." As he levitated me, I realized that why he was so worried. Anything could have happened to me when I wandered off. I was still on bedrest to protect the pregnancy because it was so volatile. Walking up the stairs on my own was dangerous, if I had fallen... or if I had tripped and had been unable to catch myself... Both myself and the baby could have died so easily. I bit my lip in guilt as we went back to where everyone was.

"Oh darling, there you are!" Narcissa came to me and held my face and kissed my cheeks. "We were looking all over for you. Are you alright? You're not hurt anywhere are you? Oh Draco, dear, where did you find her?"

"In the nursery, Mother," he replied and tears welled in my eyes.

"I didn't mean to worry you, I was wandering and I went into the nursery and nodded off in the rocking chair and-," I wiped the tears from my eyes in irritation, "I don't know why I'm crying, bloody baby hormones."

Narcissa laughed her twinkling laugh, "oh darling, trust me, I know all about it. I was a mess when I was pregnant with Draco here. He made me a monster."

I laughed through my tears and I was led into the parlour where Lucius waited with Severus. "Good, you've been found. I thought we would have to send for a search party."

"No," I chuckled, "that won't be necessary."

"Alright, our plans have been modified a bit but we still have time if we leave in the next hour." Narcissa smiled.

"Leave?" I looked at Draco curiously.

"Yes, we usually floo somewhere at this time because they have Christmas Festivals at different places around the world."

I smiled and nodded, it would be fun. We went to start getting ready when Lucius stopped us.

"I suppose now is a good time to give these to you."

He put platinum bracelets on our wrists and they disappeared under our skin. "Put your hand to it," he nodded to Draco.

Draco touched the place on his wrist and the bracelet reappeared and suddenly the area on my wrist was extremely warm. I touched my wrist and Lucius nodded again.

"They are tracking bracelets. Should you get lost or separated from each other, just touch it and it will become warmer the closer you get, colder the further away you are. If you find the need to take them off, just touch them together and they will separate from you."

I smiled at him and he waved us off, "go along now, our time is running short."

* * *

We travelled Sicily for a warm Christmas festival, and then to Rome where they had recreations of Gladiator battles. Afterward, we attended a play of the Nutcracker. It was amazing.

"I can't believe you didn't come home for this last year," I muttered to Draco during the intermission.

"I didn't come home last year," he stroked my pale hand, "because I had to ensure you would be with me this year."

I snickered, "you had it all planned out didn't you?"

"I did," he smirked and I felt there was more to it.

I entwined our fingers and laid my head on his shoulder, "it really was a wonderful Christmas Draco. Thank you for showing me such a wonderful thing."

I must've fallen asleep during the last half of the play because I only vaguely remember Draco carrying me into our bedroom and laying me down on the bed. I snuggled into the blankets and he kissed me so sweetly, it made my heart flutter.

I dropped off soon after and whispered a soft goodnight to me.

He woke me up the next morning and I swallowed down the anxiety I felt as he kissed my hands. My heart pounded in my chest and I breathed heavily as I prepared for the day.

"It's your last chance to tell them before we go to St. Mungo's."

"I know Draco." I snapped as I gripped the sink. I brushed my teeth quietly and I changed my clothes slowly. It was my last day of freedom and I was going to spend it telling the Malfoys my true identity.

My hands shook as I reached for Draco's and he kissed me. "Calm down, nothing will happen."

"Easy for you to say!" I hissed and he just smiled at me. I tisked because it pissed me off.

We went down to the living room at my pace and my breath came quicker the closer we got.

"Take some deep breaths," Draco wiped the sweat from my forehead, "you're going to be okay."

I did as he said and we stood there for a good five minutes before I was able to get myself under control. I put on a smile as we entered and Narcissa greeted me with a hug.

"How are you darling?" She frowned as she looked at my face and I forced the smile to grace my face. "You look really pale, are you feeling alright? Come sit."

Lucius and Severus were in a deep conversation but paused to nod their good mornings to me. I sat down and Draco sat next to me. Narcissa took her place back next to Lucius and I gripped Draco's leg tightly.

"Dear, you are sweating so much, are you sure you feel alright?" Narcissa asked and I took shallow breaths. It had garnered the attention of Lucius and Sev and it didn't serve to help my anxiety.

"No, I-I'm alright," Draco put his hand into mine as I squeezed his leg too tightly, "I have something very important to tell you. You deserve to know."


	12. Surprise

Temporarily Untitled  
Surprise

* * *

I closed my eyes and I inhaled as I put myself back into the memory that started it all.

"I was still thirteen at the time..."

* * *

 

"Get up boy!"

I jumped and I didn't have time to react as a hand twisted in my hair and pulled from my bed.

I cried out as he dragged me from the room. I struggled and I scratched his arm trying to get him to release me.

I'd only been back from Hogwarts for a few days but the man had been incredibly irritable and had me locked away for two days already.

"Where are you taking me?! Let go!" I kicked out and I saw Petunia staring at me blankly from the end of the hall. He dragged me down the stairs and every yank and thump was painful. The tears gathered in my eyes and he dragged me outside. He pulled me across the grass and threw me onto the sidewalk.

"You've been a useless waste of space from the beginning. Now, I'm going to make you useful."

I was pulled up again by a few men and I tried to pull away from their hold. They pressed a cloth to my mouth and I watched them pass my uncle a large wad of cash before I lost consciousness.

I didn't have a chance to get my wand and I didn't know where I was taken to.

When I woke up, they had stripped me of my clothes and bound me with leather straps and ropes. I had no idea what was going to happen. They put me in a room and pushed a needle into my skin and then they left me alone.

I was there for a long time. They had tied me up in such a provocative position and shined a light on me but no one came back. I think that was the beginning of the end of who I was as a person.

After that long time, someone finally came back and I attempted to fight my way out but it was futile. I didn't have my wand, I had no ability over controlled wandless magic, I had nothing. So there I was being manhandled by muggle men. No one knew where I was which meant no one was coming to save me.

They put me into a room and strapped me to a cot. I knew what was coming. I didn't have to experience it before to know what was coming.

A man entered the room. He was a pudgy man that reminded me of my uncle and I cried and tried to get away as he approached the bed, but my binds didn't loosen and I couldn't focus my magic in my panic.

I didn't get away.

That man forced himself into me more times than I could remember to count. I screamed a lot the first time but after that, I detached myself if only to escape from the pain. I was surprised the old man had so much energy. I just closed my eyes and prayed for it to end soon.

When he decided he was done with me, he told me he was disappointed that I didn't cry more but he would be back to see me.

When he finally walked out of the door, I allowed myself to cry. It didn't last long though. Another man walked in and immediately started with me. I remember as he began to kiss my face, that he wasn't as fat as the first man.

I couldn't think. One after the other, the men came and went. Sometimes they came in twos and they untied me so that I could properly please these men.

I had no idea how long I had been there at that point. I ended up attacking one of the men and they restrained me again and took me away. They locked me in a dark room and left me there. It was so dark. I screamed until my voice was gone. I think I might have hyperventilated and passed out but I don't remember much of what happened after that.

It was underground, I knew. There was no trace of sun anywhere. I saw all kinds of different people there. People who were tied up like me, people who wore suits, people who looked like bodyguards.

I was punished a lot. Whether it was by the people who handled me or the people who paid for me, it was a constant wave of pain and discomfort.

Eventually, I was moved from the smaller room I started in, to a larger room where they strung me up like a puppet in the middle of the room and people would come through and do whatever they pleased with me.

I counted the seconds as they passed. Whenever they were shagging me, whenever they used weird muggle sex toys on me, whenever I was in the dark room as punishment, whenever I just laid waiting for clients, I counted.

I wasn't fed for the first time until I collapsed after one particular session. I guess they forgot that I was a human being and needed food. It ended up doing more harm than good giving it to me but they didn't forget to feed me again. It was usually a piece of bread and a little thing of water or a banana. One day I was lucky and got strawberry.

I learned quickly that if I did things right, I wouldn't be punished. I began to learn how to fall into my role nicely. It was the only thing I could do to survive.

I found out how long I had been there when they put me back into a car and took me back to my uncle's house. I cried in relief because I thought I was free but that wasn't the case.

He beat me close to death that day. He broke my arm and a few ribs, he threw me down the stairs and stomped on me until I threw up blood.

And then he raped me as well. Just like those men did.

He didn't touch me anywhere else but my hips and he thrust into me until he came. It was awful. I threw up again a couple of times and he dragged me by my hair again and threw me into the cupboard.

I had only been underground for two weeks. It felt like longer.

They came back for me the next day but because Petunia and Dudley had been gone on a vacation, I had to endure his advances two more times that night. The took me away and Vernon actually laughed and said goodbye because I wouldn't be seeing that house or my things again.

I thought about Hedwig, my dad's cloak, my gifts, and trinkets I had gathered from my time at Hogwarts and I broke down as they took me away again. I didn't even have the opportunity to get my wand.

My little taste of freedom. Gone.

I didn't want him to touch my things. I wished hard that he wouldn't touch my stuff. Especially not Hedwig if she was even still alive.

I was listless for a few days after that. Back underground, I let them do what they pleased with me. I didn't have the energy, or the will to go on. They set my arm, without any medication, it was painful, to say the least. They didn't care about the rest though, so long as I made them money. Some of the men I dealt with were a bit kinder and were gentle with my arm while others were rough and I even had someone grab it and pull it while he screwed me.

I never thought I would get out. I played along as my physical and mental state deteriorated but I couldn't stop. They wouldn't let me stop. My uncle sold me, and they bought me. They liked to remind me that they paid a decent price for me and I brought in a hefty income for them.

They started giving me more drugs because they discovered how much I hated to feel good. They wanted to break me.

I wanted to escape. I tried and I almost succeeded but when they caught me, they locked me up and kept me under constant surveillance. Those were the hardest times. I was beaten often and starved. I was dangerously underweight and most times I could barely stand. My hair got longer and I was always dirty unless someone requested that I get a shower.

I had resigned myself to the fact that I was a slave to these people and that I would never get away. I would soon think of nothing but the drugs they gave me. Every day, I was lost in the pleasure of being shagged by the men that came to see me. It was how I would live my life.

Then one day, however many days later, the opportunity presented itself to me.

One of my regulars died. He was in the middle of the deed and he was choking me. I gasped for air and my vision was fading. I wanted him to end my misery but when I glared at him, his eyes became wide and he began gasping for air and he held his neck like he was choking. He fell off of me and I just stared at him as he fell off the bed and writhed on the floor.

I left him there.

I went to the door to see if there was anyone waiting outside of it but there was no one. I looked and looked and then I took the opportunity to run. I hid in corners and I knew I had to be fast. I'd seen the exit once but I wasn't sure how to get there from the room I was in. I heard the shouting and I abandoned all reason and ran. I was still naked but I didn't care. I ended up running into a staircase I hadn't seen before and I went up it.

It led into an alley of downtown. I ran out into the street, still collared and naked and people shouted, stared, and pointed. I heard the voices coming from the alley and I ran. People surely realized that I was only a child and they started trying to catch me. I couldn't let anyone catch me again. I ducked into another alley and went on a less busy street but I was still naked and I didn't know where I was at.

"There!" I heard the cry and there were men coming from both ways of the street. I gasped and forced my legs to move even though my body had enough. I made a critical error though.

The alley I tried to escape through was a dead end. It was a brick wall so I couldn't climb it. I turned around and they were approaching me slowly. I was caught like a rat in a trap of dead ends and high rise buildings.

"Found you, pretty boy. Be good now and I'll fuck you nice and hard tonight."

"No! Stay back!"

"Come quietly and we'll forgive you."

"No, no no, please, no," I sank down to the ground and they came closer. My body trembled and I brought my knees to my chest. I couldn't go back, I couldn't. "No! No!!"

And then they all seemed to freeze, suspended as time moved around them. I heard the choking noises, it was terrifying. And then, one by one, they exploded. Their bodies turned inside out and they blasted apart into a flurry of blood, guts, bones, and grey matter.

There was so much blood. It was all over me, I could smell it, I could feel it, I couldn't hear much over the ringing in my ears but I think I was screaming.

I passed out afterward. There's a lot of things I don't remember after that though. I do remember that when I woke up, I was in an unfamiliar house. In the time I was there, every door was locked and I couldn't get outside by any means, not that I wanted to in the first place. I stayed there, there was food and water but no one ever came back to the house. I had a lot of time to think about what I wanted. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I knew I couldn't go back to the Dursley's, they would be waiting for me, and going around Muggle London was dangerous because they would recognize me. I knew that the Ministry would try to send me back because they were my official guardians but I'd've rather died. And then, I found a girl's Hogwarts uniform one day in one of the wardrobes when I went exploring. I found more female clothing in some of the drawers and a thought appeared in my mind. If I'd actually died, they couldn't send me back. But I needed to go back to Hogwarts, it was my only solace, my only way out. I formulated the plan in my head and plotted out every kink. I still didn't know what day it was.

Then one day, as if hearing my prayers, there was a notecard telling me that in two days the card would activate as a portkey and take me to the Ministry as I had an appointment with the Minister of Magic. It said that when I got there, I would go to him, get him to sign off on a birth certificate, school registration papers, and other paperwork, and then when he was done, I would use the obliviate charm on him with the wand provided. When I was done, I would submit my registration papers for Hogwarts and use the card as a portkey again to go back to the house. I was not to go anywhere else. I would have to use a disguise and I ended finding all kinds of books on Hogwarts subjects and dark arts. In those, I found books on glamour and prosthetic charms. I used charms to grow my hair, fill out my face, hide some things and falsify other things.

I don't know why I followed it or why I felt no remorse when I used that obliviate charm but it felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was surprised that when I got there, the Minister greeted me as Harli Porter. He asked me a few questions and I avoided speaking as much as possible. I found the date that day to be the third of August.

I went back and there waiting for me was a trunk. It was filled with my belongings from the Dursleys, my wand, and I allowed myself to be sad when I found a only little white feather inside of an empty cage. I found another note simply saying that I was being watched over and to stay hidden and when the time came, I would be portkeyed to Hogsmeade.

I spent the rest of the summer studying the books I'd received, practiced magic, and created my cover story on how I came to be.

I had then died as Harry Potter and Harli Porter had been born from the ashes.

* * *

 

"And as you can see, I went to Hogwarts last year," my voice trembled as I finished my story, "I-I still don't know who helped me at that time."

It was silent for a long long time. No one spoke, no one moved, the only thing I could hear was my labored breathing. I was still hyperventilating and I didn't know if I should have told them. They might decide to kill me right there. There were plenty of pureblood witches out there that could bring a Malfoy heir into this world.

Narcissa was staring at me in horror, I couldn't even bring myself to look at Lucius or Snape. Draco, I would probably never be able to look him in the eye again. He was still holding my trembling hand so tightly but he was also not moving at all, barely breathing. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and I was surprised to see tears gathered in his eyes. I bit my lip and looked away, holding my own tears back by the skin of my teeth. I wanted to say something more, anything but it was up to them to show me what would happen next.

I stared at the ground as we all processed what was said and I saw Narcissa stand from her seat and leave the room and I bit my lip so hard, I drew blood. I didn't think I could have gripped Draco any harder. I heard the faint sound of glass shattering and then Lucius stood and walked out as well. I turned my face into Draco's shoulder and let the tears fall but he didn't move. I should have prepared myself but I don't think any amount of preparation could have prepared me for this.

I heard a quiet clink and then I felt arms wrap around me. I looked back in surprise at Narcissa who was embracing me tightly. She also had tears streaming down her face. I saw Lucius take his place back on the settee and my heart filled with a flurry of emotions.

We sat there quietly until Narcissa released me and turned to pour tea with shaky hands. I watched as Lucius put his hand atop hers and steadied her hands. It was the first romantic gesture I had seen between them. He pulled her back to his side and wrapped his arm around her waist. I looked away as I felt like I had seen too much. Draco still hadn't really moved and I was worried he was in shock. Narcissa tried to offer me tea but my hands were shaking terribly and I shook my head.

I really needed someone to say something. Reject, accept, scream, kill, something. I felt movement inside and the baby was really restless. Draco must have felt it too because he finally moved and pressed a hand to my belly. I felt as though if they were going to make a move they would have already so it could be either a good thing or a bad thing.

"Please say something," I finally whispered, breaking the silence. Draco flinched at my voice and I heard Lucius clear his throat.

"What exactly would you like us to say?" He drawled.

I didn't have any response for that. I had lied to them even though they accepted me into their family.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, "I'm so sorry."

We fell into silence again and my heart had finally calmed down but I still couldn't relax. My stomach was churning and I watched Narcissa put her teacup down.

"Darling," I looked at her and she stared at me with something akin to pity, "there's something we need to tell you as well." She fiddled her thumbs and I thought that was incredibly strange. Snape was silent, he never looked in my direction. Draco didn't move and he was shaking as badly as I was.

"The truth is, we've known who you were," my heart sank to the deepest pits of my abyss, what did she mean? "We've known for a long time."

I couldn't help looking at Draco, my heart tearing to shreds inside.

"No dear, no," she got up to sit next to me and I stared at her wide-eyed, "don't get mad at Draco, he wasn't the one who told us." She reached for my hand and I was paralyzed as she held it.

"The story you told us, we did not know about it. At the time, we didn't know just what happened but you were really hurt then," she inhaled sharply and I saw her eyes flicker to Draco for a split second before she looked back at me, "the day you escaped, we found you that day. We happened to be in Muggle London and we saw you and the men chasing you. Draco went after you." Draco gripped my hand so tightly and I winced. He was still trembling and my heart pounded faster in my chest. "Those men, they were already destroyed by the time Lucius and I arrived. Draco was there with you." She put a hand to her heart, "we were so surprised to see Harry Potter naked in that dirty alleyway. And so we brought you back here. You were very sick."

"W-what are you saying?"

"You were withdrawing from the drugs you were on," it was Severus who spoke this time and I turned my gaze to him, "you were incredibly underweight and you had to be resuscitated twice. They were giving you more than you thought they were." I couldn't breathe.

"When you became stable, we kept you here and took care of you. You became aware that we had you and you were very opposed to the idea of staying with us but you were not strong enough to fight us or leave, so you stayed here for a while." She sucked in a breath, "in that time, you told us that you wanted to die and asked if we would kill you for mercy. You even begged Severus for a draught of sleeping death. But we came up with a different solution and we suggested that you wear a disguise for a while and hide away before term began but you came up with a different solution."

"Harry Potter must die," I whispered in disbelief between breaths.

"Yes, exactly." She put a hand to my cheek, "calm down, you're hyperventilating. Take a breath."

I inhaled deeply and she nodded, "I'm sorry to throw this onto you so suddenly."

"Why?" I tried to take another deep breath, "why are you explaining this to me like me? Why don't I remember this happening? I don't ever remember being here!"

She sighed and it was almost deathly silent again, "Lucius pulled some strings at the Ministry, we set you up with the Minister, and we took a step back. We were incredibly skeptical if you would actually be able to go through with faking your death or if you goodness in you would allow it but we thought that if you had a change of heart or anything happened, we didn't want that to backfire on us."

She swallowed and looked away from me, "so we obliviated you as well and we locked you in that house. We provided you with the resources you would need to complete your objective as you pleased it, we helped you evolve your own thoughts, and then we provided the means for you for you to get into Hogwarts and then we allowed Draco to take the reins, to ensure that it went successfully for you. We never expected you to come back to us and never as quickly as you did but we accepted you back with open arms because we knew, and we had taken the time to know because we were ignorant of your situation before then. We are so so very sorry for how we treated you prior to this. You did not deserve it from us."

My stomach was still churning. I felt sick but there was something very very wrong. I pulled my hand away from hers and Draco's and I forced myself up from the settee and walked half across the room. "I can't believe it. This entire time, you knew, I have been tricked this entire time!"

Draco wasn't looking at me and I felt like he wouldn't at this point. I held my stomach as I felt the baby writhing inside and the feeling of dread washed over me, "I-"

I was cut off by my own cry of pain as a sharp but blunt, all-consuming pain washed over me. I doubled over and I felt the wetness spread down my legs and I barely had the conscious thought to open my eyes and see the large puddle surrounding my feet and then I saw the blood. There was so much blood. I cried as another wave of pain washed over me and I heard the call of my name and I felt hands on me, easing me to the floor and on my back. There was more miscellaneous noise but I couldn't hear any of it. I saw Draco's horrified face in my line of vision and it was the last thing I saw.

I fell in and out of consciousness, unable to reach full consciousness, sometimes I heard things, sometimes I dreamt of things, sometimes all was silent. I wondered what happened to me. Did I die? Is this what it felt like?

I heard my name a few times and I tried to answer but no sound came out of my mouth. It felt like a long time before I was able to fully wake up. The room was dark and I sat up slowly. I looked down and shouted in alarm.

My stomach was flat. I put my hand to it and there was a slight tenderness but there was nothing there. I inhaled sharply and I looked around the strange, empty room. Where was it? My baby wasn't there!

I got out of the bed and threw the door open. I didn't get far as I ran into a body at the threshold. I shouted and they grabbed my shoulders.

"Harli, hey!" I looked up at Draco who looked at me in worry, "when did you wake up? Why aren't you in bed?"

"Draco! My baby is gone!" I cried in hysteria.

"Come on, let me explain," he turned me around and led me back to the hospital bed. I crawled back into it and he sat in the chair next to it. I crossed my hands and he looked at me. I hadn't forgotten what went down on Boxing Day but I needed to know what happened.

I felt his hand on my face, "you're crying."

"My baby... is it...?"

"No! No, Harli, you did so well! It's a baby boy, he's beautiful. And he made it. We were so worried that you were both going to die but he made it, and you," he placed his hand over mine, "it did not look good for a moment but you pulled through as well."

"Can I see him?" I asked excitedly but I was disappointed when he shook his head.

"First, we need to talk."

I looked away from him and pursed my lips, "I don't want to talk right now, I want to see my baby."

"Harli, please, we need to talk."

"About what Draco?!" I shouted, "honestly, what could we possibly have to talk about? The fact that you spent the last year lying to my face? You were completely aware of that time when I got away and I should be more angry at you but I can't because at least you told me you knew who I was. But your family, your mother, and father and even you, you did something horrible to me." I pressed my hands to my eyes as the tears came, "why am I here? Has it all been a lie? Have you been faking with me this entire time?"

"No," he pulled my hands away and I turned my face away, "no, I have never lied to you. Since that day last year, that day I asked you on that date, it was never a lie. I will admit that at first, I had every plan of getting you to come back here with me in some way. We intended on telling you the truth about the situation and asking you to stay with us anyway but those thoughts had changed when you agreed to go on that date with me. You accepted the fact that I knew who you were and you accepted me even though I had been cruel to you and I used you. I will admit, you becoming pregnant was an unforeseen plus, but I'm sorry you had to experience such hurt because of us. We have been through so much together and I needed you to understand that nothing has changed now that you know the truth. Mother and Father, they will not abandon you. Severus will not out you. I will not leave you. If anything, it's good that you were able to tell them on your own terms even if they knew already. It is not that we lied to you, and perhaps we kept something very important from you, but nothing has changed. I am so sorry it turned out this way."

"Why did they decide to adopt me?" I asked, "if they knew who I was, why did they make that decision? Was it because of the baby? Was it because of the control over me?"

"Being an orphan with no family, it makes it difficult to get things done. You would have become a ward of the Ministry and at that point, we would not have been able to help you. Father was able to make decisions about your medical care, he was able to support you when the bad things happened, you were able to have a home to come back to, whereas being a ward of the Ministry, you would have not had any of those things. Yes, the child had a hand in the acceleration of the process but I did not think of anything like that because I assumed you would not have accepted. My father is a man who needs that control and having control over someone like Harry Potter would be a bragging right of sorts. His experience with you now has changed that view and he sees you as a student, an empty canvas he can paint on as he pleases. After learning more about you after your stay with us, we wanted you here with us no matter what. I was wrong about how I treated you and I want to make up for it."

He held my hands again and he brushed his thumb over my ring, "I have something to show you." He grabbed a piece of paper and handed it to me from the bedside table and handed it to me.

I glanced at it and on it was my name, my real name. "Harry James Malfoy."

"It is your real adoption certificate. Because Harli Porter does not have a birth record, we did your adoption with the utmost secrecy. We have no intention of abandoning you."

"How many people actually knew my identity?" I asked. "Just how far out of my own loop am I?"

"Mother and Father, of course, Severus, Healer Cordelia, Dumbledore, McGonagall and-" he coughed and I gave him a hard stare.

"Who?" It wasn't a large list but it was larger than I liked.

"Granger knows." He finished and my jaw dropped in surprise.

"What? How?"

"She approached me at one point this year and shoved her theories in my face. I didn't confirm nor deny her assumptions but it seems that my lack of denial confirmed them in her eyes. She said that she understood and that she wouldn't tell you that she knew or ask you why you are like this but she supports you for whatever reason it is." He rubbed the back of his head, "she is incredibly irritating I'll have you know."

"Yes," I sighed, "unfortunately."

"There's one last thing you should know." It was his turn to look away from me.

"What is it?"

"Those men in that alleyway you spoke about, you did not kill them. I did."

The room turned cold and I shivered, "what?"

"When I arrived there, you had already subdued them and the weight of your magic was suffocating them. I pushed your unstable magic further until their bodies exploded from the inside out." He kissed my knuckles, "at the time, I didn't feel any remorse for helping you and I didn't think on it but when I saw your face, I knew that you had not seen me. When I started hearing your nightmares, I knew that you had blamed yourself for their deaths. I am remorseful for allowing you to believe that you are the one responsible. You don't deserve any more grief and you definitely don't deserve it from me." He stared into my eyes and I swallowed hard, "I love you so much, and I'm so sorry."

He bowed his head as he held my hand and I put a hand on his head, "why are you apologizing?" I trailed my fingers down his face, wiping his tears as they fell, "thank you for trying to protect me and thank you for saving me." He kissed my hands again and I smiled, "you've been so strong for the both of us and I was taking advantage of it. I should be the one apologizing, I forget sometimes that we are both children. We've been forced into this hard situation but you've had it harder than I have, haven't you?"

He shook his head and a thick laugh escaped his throat, "in terms of terrible things, you've definitely had it worse."

I leaned over to kiss his forehead and he kissed me so sweetly in return. "Now, about our little heir. They are watching over him because the complications you had were severe. He's in a suspension bubble right now and it's keeping him stable and safe from sickness. He was unable to breathe on his own at a point but he has surely come a long way. He's able to breathe on his own, he takes food properly, he still struggles with motor skills but the healers are optimistic that he will grow into them. Mother and Father are there now but they wanted you to come when you were ready. Mother is very worried that you are still upset with them and she's worried you won't allow her to see him."

"How long...?" I breathed.

"He was born three days ago on December twenty-seventh. They were trying their hardest to not take him so early because of the risk that he wouldn't survive but they couldn't stop the bleeding. For a while, you both in a lot of danger of dying but they had a harder time stabilizing you and Merlin, I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost you. There was so much blood, and they told us there was a chance you would never wake up. I was so scared." He shook his head again as if he still couldn't believe it, and a scoff left him, "Father was particularly worried. He threatened to murder a few people if you or the baby didn't survive. Maybe he was just worried about my state of mind but it was the first time I'd seen my father so flustered."

I laughed as well, "that must have been a sight to see."

"Come on, let's go see our little heir," he kissed me again and I grinned.

* * *

 

I couldn't stop the tears from falling as I looked at my baby in a suspension bubble.

He was so tiny. He had all his little fingers and toes, a little button nose, pink puckered lips and a little tuft of blonde hair on his head. I could see all the little veins through his wrinkly, pink skin. His eyes were closed and he would shift every few seconds or clench his little hand. I covered my mouth and swallowed a sob. Draco wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I hugged him tightly, "he's so beautiful Draco."

"You did so well," he kissed my forehead and I smiled. "He was born 1 kilo and is 23 centimeters."

"Draco dear, Harli," I looked past Draco to Narcissa and Lucius. Narcissa seemed sad and a bit embarrassed but I merely smiled and went to hug her.

"Oh dear, it's so good to see that you are well," she wrapped her arms around me and I smiled at her.

"Have you been cleared by Healer Cordelia to be moving around? It's painful isn't it?" Lucius questioned like a doting father and I hugged him too, very quickly in case he changed his mind about liking my presence.

"I think they might have given me a numbing potion and an amazing pain reliever because I can't feel a thing."

He gave me a flat stare and I sighed, "I wanted to see my baby. It doesn't hurt at all but I will go back to the room right away."

He nodded, "it would do you well. Don't fret, you will have your child in your arms very soon."

I nodded and Draco led me back to my room.

I crawled into the bed and Draco sat down next to me again. I didn't really know what else to say. It was too much to really process.

Draco put his hand on my cheek and I closed my eyes, "I never thought I'd end up loving you this much. I love you so much it hurts."

He chuckled, "if it's that kind of pain, do I need to apologize for causing it?"

"No, I want to continue this way, maybe I'm a masochist," I sighed.

There was a knock at the door and Healer Cordelia entered with a nurse, and Draco's parents, "hello there dear, how are you feeling?"

"I'm alright for now, the potions are working well, I can't feel a thing."

She laughed, "yes, well, that's a good thing to hear." She waved her wand and a few diagnostic rushed over me, "your vitals are good, internally everything is fine, and the cesarean was a success. Your stomach will be tender for a while so be sure to take it easy for a few weeks. I'd like to keep you here for two more days to ensure everything is fine and then you are free to go home."

"What about my baby?" I frowned as I looked at Draco. We hadn't decided on a name yet.

"Unfortunately, because of his premature state, I cannot allow him to return home quite yet. It will be several weeks before he is ready. The suspension bubble is acting as a womb, helping him breathe properly as his lungs finish developing and supplying him with nutrients as he is still too little to feed from a bottle yet. It may be a shorter or longer time based on how stable his magical core is but because he's got two strong parents, he will be alright."

I nodded and bit my lip, knowing there was nothing I could do. I just had to be there to support my little boy.

Healer Cordelia sent away her nurse and I looked at her curiously. I noticed her face become grim and it sent a chill down my spine. She took a seat next to me and locked the door with a spell. "Okay darling, it's just us in here. I have a few serious questions to ask you."

I nodded and glanced at Draco's parents whose faces were just as serious. Draco's fingers were entwined tightly with mine.

"Did you, before getting pregnant, take any fertility potions?"

I shook my head immediately, "I didn't even know I could get pregnant."

I remembered what Draco said about Healer Cordelia knowing about my identity and I felt confident that she wouldn't out me.

"You didn't take any harmful potions while pregnant?"

A shake.

"Are you planning on getting pregnant again?" Her eyes flickered to Draco and back to me and I actually hesitated before answering.

"Not anytime soon." I glanced at Draco who answered in my stead before looking back at Healer Cordelia and nodded in agreement.

"Not anytime soon."

She leaned back and sighed in what seemed like relief, "I only ask these questions because it may be extremely dangerous to you should you become pregnant again. When I preformed the cesarean, I noticed that your baby was inside of an artificial womb. Not one created by your magic but one that was created by a potion. Those potions are illegal because the wombs are unstable and usually cause harm to the baby and the mother. Although this is the case, the fact that you were able to carry your baby for the amount of time that you did is a miracle in itself. I don't want to say that getting pregnant again is impossible but should it happen, you may be in more danger than you were in this pregnancy. I would advise against planning for a child for the foreseeable future."

I nodded, "I was poisoned, actually, during the conception of our child. I don't remember it having any other effect than what it did. I didn't know that there was actually something wrong."

"No," I looked at Lucius who spoke up, "you had been given that potion at the ball. Severus didn't realize until after you found out you were pregnant but at that point, it was too late and we kept the information to ourselves. Whoever poisoned you at the party intended for this to happen."

We all went silent and Healer Cordelia cleared her throat, "well, for now, I removed the artificial womb and you are fine internally. You body may be able to produce one created by magic again but anytime soon may be harmful to you. As I said before, your stomach will be tender for a few weeks so take it easy. You'll be staying here for the next two days for monitoring and then you'll be free to go home. I will have your baby brought here and I will show you how to hold him inside of the suspension bubble."

"He has to stay inside of it?" I asked.

"Yes, taking him out of it presents the risk of infection or something worse, so for now, he must stay inside."

I nodded in understanding and she patted my head, "don't worry, it may not seem ideal now but the time will pass by quickly."

They floated my son in and situated the bubble in my arms. It was so warm, it brought me to tears. To see him like this, it was so painful and I shook my head and allowed Draco to take over. It made me so happy to see the endearing look on his face as he held our child and I wanted to kiss him so badly.

He seemed to read my thoughts and leaned over to kiss me sweetly and I smiled, "you did so well. I love you so much."

I smiled too as he allowed an excited Narcissa her turn and my eyes became heavy. He pushed me back against the pillows and pulled the blankets up to my chin and pressed another kiss to my forehead, "rest now. I'll be here when you wake up."

I nodded and let my eyes slip closed.


End file.
